Borybaby Posted July 6, 2010 Posted July 6, 2010 My wife and I have been married for 2 & 1/2 years and together for 8. We are hs sweethearts but things have been rocky since we got married. For one I don't care for her father much and he still lOoks at her as his little girl which causes many conflicts. Second we argue heavily mainly about family isssues. We both are from two different backgrounds. When we fight it seems that she looks at me as an enemy. She has told me to leave or that she wants a divorce on several occassions and seems to be a scare tactic she employs to win arguments. I've never been unfaithful yet she always accuses me of cheating. I work and come home every night. We recently had a baby and things have been a bit better but the fights are fewer but are intense and result in a threat of separation. I don't want to pit my daughter thru a divorce later if it jet wasn't meant to be. It's weird, some days I feel madly in love and others i don't. I'm sick of being treated as a replaceable object. Any advice
What_Next Posted July 6, 2010 Posted July 6, 2010 Have you talked about or brought up the subject of marriage counsiling? If not, I suggest you do before it is too late. You now have a child, either begin to work these issues out or end it now, before the child becomes aware.
habs53 Posted July 6, 2010 Posted July 6, 2010 My wife and I have been married for 2 & 1/2 years and together for 8. We are hs sweethearts but things have been rocky since we got married. For one I don't care for her father much and he still lOoks at her as his little girl which causes many conflicts. Second we argue heavily mainly about family isssues. We both are from two different backgrounds. When we fight it seems that she looks at me as an enemy. She has told me to leave or that she wants a divorce on several occassions and seems to be a scare tactic she employs to win arguments. I've never been unfaithful yet she always accuses me of cheating. I work and come home every night. We recently had a baby and things have been a bit better but the fights are fewer but are intense and result in a threat of separation. I don't want to pit my daughter thru a divorce later if it jet wasn't meant to be. It's weird, some days I feel madly in love and others i don't. I'm sick of being treated as a replaceable object. Any advice Sounds to me you definately have something worth saving. Be strong, work on your problems.
Author Borybaby Posted July 7, 2010 Author Posted July 7, 2010 Have you talked about or brought up the subject of marriage counsiling? If not, I suggest you do before it is too late. You now have a child, either begin to work these issues out or end it now, before the child becomes aware. We did discuss counseling twice but she doesn't see the point. I am just feeling that maybe I wasn't ready for marriage she is by all means a perfect mother and she says I'm a great father we just don't feel it as spouses
habs53 Posted July 7, 2010 Posted July 7, 2010 We did discuss counseling twice but she doesn't see the point. I am just feeling that maybe I wasn't ready for marriage she is by all means a perfect mother and she says I'm a great father we just don't feel it as spouses All the focus is on the kids. Very normal and a tuff to break free from. Keep trying there buddy. Dont give up.
What_Next Posted July 7, 2010 Posted July 7, 2010 Well at least you have the fact that you both are good parents right? I believe that counsiling is a good option for you both. If I were in your shoes I might try and sneak away for a weekend, with just both of you. Turn on your inner romantic. Give it an honest shot, see if there is a connection there. If there is something there try and focus on the positive points, then suggest as part of the process counsiling. I know it appears I am harping on it, but sometimes you both need an avenue to expose your inner thoughts. Given that there are children I believe that you are obligated to at least try. Sure it might not work, but at least you can say you gave it your all. It may also take for one you to step up, dig in and say "OK it's time to get serious about making this work". Why can't it be you?
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