dreamer0123 Posted July 6, 2010 Posted July 6, 2010 Hi Everyone, I wanted to share my story and hope my experience can shed some light... My ex and I dated for three years- it was a great relationship- we never had a fight, we saw each other often and all of our friends thought we would eventually settle down together. To make a long story short- he broke up with me because he wasn't "into" it as much anymore.... this was last October At first I went strong NC- and he was the one contacting me every few weeks but I couldn't talk to him- eventually when everything finally hit me I was the one who wanted to contact him (and was contacting him) but then he began to back off.... finally a few days before my 30th birthday I called him- and we had a really long conversation- about us and getting back together and he didn't want to - thats when something CLICKED. It was a light switch that went off. I haven't spoken to him since- like many of you are going through right now- it was really hard at first...but slowly it gets better- little by little- everyday it gets better. With time I was able to re-evaluate our relationship and realize that he did not deserve to be on the pedestal that I had placed him on. I made mistakes as well.. but I've always been a fighter for what I believe but it takes two people to make a relationship work. And if one doesn't want to fight for it anymore- then you have to realize that you deserve better. Its' now June- and I'm not seeing anyone but finally feel like I can start dating again.... I still think about my ex- but I'm in a better place now- and I NEVER thought I would get here... Hang tight guys but remember stick to your gut. It took me some time to accept that my relationship was over- but when I did - I finally was able to begin the healing process. Live with no regrets- but at the same time- don't doubt your self worth!! xoxo
This Hurts Posted July 6, 2010 Posted July 6, 2010 These are always inspirational and I usually never have much to say except thank you for sharing your story. It really is a dark place for us who are starting out and figuring this whole thing out. What has helped you the most?
Author dreamer0123 Posted July 6, 2010 Author Posted July 6, 2010 Honestly- what helped me the most was the fact that I realized I HAVE to get over him... so you have to *want* to get over your ex. I made a HUGE effort never to say no to my friends when they were all getting together, I joined a boot camp, started volunteering- honestly I kept busy and tried to find the person I was before I started dating my ex. I even took a break from LS for a while... Don't get me wrong- it's still hard.. but I"m much much better these days. I still have my ups and downs but I think that's normal... So the key is to TRY- make a genuine effort and it will take time but it will happen. This will only work if you truly want to get over it.
KafkasLastWords Posted July 6, 2010 Posted July 6, 2010 Hi Everyone, I wanted to share my story and hope my experience can shed some light... My ex and I dated for three years- it was a great relationship- we never had a fight, we saw each other often and all of our friends thought we would eventually settle down together. To make a long story short- he broke up with me because he wasn't "into" it as much anymore.... this was last October At first I went strong NC- and he was the one contacting me every few weeks but I couldn't talk to him- eventually when everything finally hit me I was the one who wanted to contact him (and was contacting him) but then he began to back off.... finally a few days before my 30th birthday I called him- and we had a really long conversation- about us and getting back together and he didn't want to - thats when something CLICKED. It was a light switch that went off. I haven't spoken to him since- like many of you are going through right now- it was really hard at first...but slowly it gets better- little by little- everyday it gets better. With time I was able to re-evaluate our relationship and realize that he did not deserve to be on the pedestal that I had placed him on. I made mistakes as well.. but I've always been a fighter for what I believe but it takes two people to make a relationship work. And if one doesn't want to fight for it anymore- then you have to realize that you deserve better. Its' now June- and I'm not seeing anyone but finally feel like I can start dating again.... I still think about my ex- but I'm in a better place now- and I NEVER thought I would get here... Hang tight guys but remember stick to your gut. It took me some time to accept that my relationship was over- but when I did - I finally was able to begin the healing process. Live with no regrets- but at the same time- don't doubt your self worth!! xoxo Dreamer, I 100% am with you. I feel like I could have written this exact message, minus the long conversation about getting back together. So proud of you! I am still not really ready to date but I have started meeting people when I'm out and not feeling guilty or sad about it. From here on in, onwards and upwards!
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