deebeechrisyo Posted July 6, 2010 Posted July 6, 2010 I was doing great with NC, I *thought* I was over my break up. I really improved myself during the 8 months following being dumped. However, out of the blue I received a text from my ex a few weeks ago. Nothing really came of it, we texted a few times and that was it. At first I received a nice ego boost. However, I started to feel depressed all over again for reasons I cannot even decipher. She was on my mind all the time, it was like I was dumped all over again. It's amazing the power that someone can have over someone else. A single sentence sent through their phone can affect someone so much. Let this be a lesson, stick with no contact even when you think you are over it.
AlwaysConflicted Posted July 6, 2010 Posted July 6, 2010 Yeah you probably should have ignored it, but as long as you didn't beg for her back it showed your maturity. I already expect my ex to break NC since I still have something she'll want for the summer. I'm preparing myself to ignore her. Anyways, good post. The sneak attack text message can still mess you up months later.
This Hurts Posted July 6, 2010 Posted July 6, 2010 Yeah I've noticed this, too. You feel like you're mostly indifferent towards the whole thing or like you can at least control your emotions, but you really can't. It's discouraging to know that after so many months, especially of not being in contact with them, they can still make you feel so low.
BiAxident Posted July 6, 2010 Posted July 6, 2010 I have to imagine that things work differently for each individual. In my case, after 2 years of NC, I may not have been 100% "over" my ex, but I could function well enough by focusing on school, exercise, and putting together some music on guitar that I wasn't really depressed. Granted, I'm now back to square one, and have sex and cuddling instead of NC. However, I could have had a second chance if not for my hesitance, and that never would have been the case had I not broken my end of NC. Then again, my ex and I had been great friends for 15 years prior to dating, so I had extra incentive to at least see how she was doing. I do agree though, that it is amazing the power one sentence, or the tone of a persons voice, or what isnt said, can have on an individual. I find it very interesting from a scientific standpoint, the chemical reactions that take place in the brain that lead to the emotions that strangle us. I'm slowly working on a book, "Evolve Your Brain", and delves into the subject. I dont know how much it would help the average LS user, but it is a decent distraction none the less.
spriggig Posted July 6, 2010 Posted July 6, 2010 I'm forced into LC with my STBXW because of our son. I end up seeing her about once every two weeks for just a few minutes. When we speak it's only about our son and to hand off any mail she might have received--all business. I've read many times here on LS how one contact after months of NC can cause a huge backslide into depression. I think, as long as you're honestly convinced that you will not get back together with her, LC might be a better choice. While it's taken 7 months, I'm able to meet and talk to her with virtually no feelings of sadness or anger. And, this is a woman I was married to for 12 years, who cheated on me and who I still love. Don't get me wrong, I'm still on the roller coaster, but I don't spend any time dreading contact or even wishing for it like someone might in NC, because I know I'll have to have contact on a regular basis for the next six or seven years and I'm forcing myself to get used to it. In some cases, even where kids aren't involved, it just might be better to have LC rather than NC. Or maybe LC for several months to desensitize you to the new situation and then going NC permanently. Just a thought.
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