Went LC today...

[hurt and devastated]

I finally realized this is the only way I'm going to regain part of my sanity. We've talked a few times because she was willing to talk about anything that happened. The first time or two was ok; she actually opened up and told me she doesn't think much of herself, and we talked about the lack of communication on my part that led to some of the problems we had. That went alright, but last Tuesday (I'm supposed to see the kids Tuesday and Thursday) she texted me and asked me to come Wednesday instead and if I could only come once a week because twice was too much for her. I later found out from my stepson that she was going to have an old high school friend over (male), but he cancelled at the last minute. So now she is lying to me, which raised up a red flag.

 

On Saturday when I picked up my daughter, I found out that she was having a girlfriend over with her daughter, so I thought no big deal. When I dropped her off yesterday, I noticed an empty cigarette pack that wasn't a brand any of her friends smoked. My stepson took me outside and told me this guy came over Saturday night also, and spent the night. Sidebar: I am NOT using my stepson as a spy to what my wife is doing. He just wants his mom and me to get back together. When I noted the cigarette pack and asked her who else was there, she admitted he came with his daughter, and spent the night because he drank some, and he was old friends with her and her girlfriend "like it matters".

 

That led to my crying all the rest of the day yesterday and not being worth a damn for anything. I decided this morning after getting no sleep last night that I'm going to have to mostly shut her out if I'm gonna move past this. Unusually, she hasn't called or texted today, so I'm using today as my start to limit my contact with her to only concern my kids. I really hope I can do this, because I miss her and my family like crazy, and I dream about her nonstop! Thanks for reading this drawn out mess of a story...