CailinPig Posted July 5, 2010 Posted July 5, 2010 So I was told to do this after a relationship of three years by well-wishing friends. I am now 2 years later in pretty much the same situation and wondering - how does one 'move on'? and why, when i hear it, does it strike pain and fear and pure deep sadness in me? I want to know other peoples experiences of the scary process of 'moving on'. I mean, it took me a horribly long year to 'move on' after that relationship and I'm not even sure I fully recovered. So what is moving on? Bulletpoint it!! What do you do when moving on seems impossible and what are the pit-traps? Teach me, people!!!
Ella whispers Posted July 6, 2010 Posted July 6, 2010 1. Date. Whether you're into the person or not just go out and spend time getting to know yourself better. See yourself with someone else's eyes. 2. Do something out of character. A hobby or new interest, something you always wanted to try. It will brighten you up and open new doors. 3. Don't allow yourself to get into relationship mode right away, especially if you honestly do like the person. The habits of communication you had in your previous relationship can rule in the new one so be careful. Some no so good people prey on others that are still recovering. It took me 4 years to get over my 12 year relationship. I wouldn't change the new me for anyone. A whole lot of good came from those dark times. Now that I'm past them I appreciate them.
Author CailinPig Posted July 6, 2010 Author Posted July 6, 2010 You're right, and thank you for being concise and clear! People usually just say the new hobby thing, but never say the best one - dating!! Unfortunately, here in Ireland, dating is an alien enough concept. You don't just walk up to someone and ask them for their number really! But thanks for the answer! Perfect! (now if only i could get some dates! haha)
funky_wizard Posted July 7, 2010 Posted July 7, 2010 So I was told to do this after a relationship of three years by well-wishing friends. I am now 2 years later in pretty much the same situation and wondering - how does one 'move on'? and why, when i hear it, does it strike pain and fear and pure deep sadness in me? I want to know other peoples experiences of the scary process of 'moving on'. I mean, it took me a horribly long year to 'move on' after that relationship and I'm not even sure I fully recovered. So what is moving on? Bulletpoint it!! What do you do when moving on seems impossible and what are the pit-traps? Teach me, people!!! You have it so much easier. I've lost my wife to breast cancer in 2003. I am now in my mid 40's...still wondering in pain. Girls on these dating sites looks at me as a creep who can't get a woman at my age. They think I'm just fooling around in my past & now I'm desperate approaching 50.
Author CailinPig Posted July 8, 2010 Author Posted July 8, 2010 funky wizard, the reason why younger girls think that is, unfortunately, most younger girls have been approached by men twice their age looking for something. I mean, I was on a dating site, clearly stating my age and preferences, which is - I;m 25 and would date anyone from 22-30. I had men in their 50's mail me, even though there were plenty of middle aged women. I just don't think it's right. As far yourself, don't worry about it. Love is love. It will find you. Put it this way - if you managed to find a girlfriend, who became a wife to you, you must have good qualities right? She married you, after all!! And other women will see those qualities. Besides, mid-40's - that's not old by any stretch of the imagination. Have you gone onto a dating site and approached women in your age group? so hmm, if you were 45, I'd say women from 40-50?
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