pandagirl Posted July 5, 2010 Posted July 5, 2010 It's the summer, which means lots of socializing, BBQs, and friend get togethers. I don't like to go OUT (meaning clubs and stuff), but I do love attending social gathering that my friends have. Since my BF doesn't live here, I attend these things solo, and I meet both men and women at these events. When a guy starts talking to me, I'm not going to say: "By the way, I have a boyfriend," because that is rude and presumptuous. However, by the time they ask for my number or hint that they want to see me in the future, I'm stuck in the awkward position of stating that I am taken and feeling like I maybe led them on? But I also don't want to sound conceited and automatically assume they have a romantic interest in me. I left a party last night, and since the guy lived near me, he walked with me along with his female friend. I sort of maybe obviously mentioned my boyfriend, and I could tell he was disappointed. Th e guy is super nice and I could be friends with him. All three of us ended up going to a bar and had a great time, and I'm actually going to set him up with one of my girlfriends! But, in the future, how do I tactfully make it known that I am attached without it being kind of rude? Usually I don't say anything unless they make a clear advancement, but maybe that isn't the best route.
threebyfate Posted July 5, 2010 Posted July 5, 2010 There are any number of opportunities to mention your b/f like recounting a mutual incident that flows into the conversation. Say the convo swings to music and groups, you can mention going to an awesome concert with your b/f. "Oh yeah, love that band, my b/f and I went to their concert a couple of months ago...etc."
TaraMaiden Posted July 5, 2010 Posted July 5, 2010 I really don't get this.... If a guy comes on to me (and even at my age, it happens, around once or twice a month....!) I usually manage to introduce my partner into the conversation, in one way or another.... He's part of my life. He is my Significant Other. so Why or how would I actually keep him out of the discussion? If they ask me out, I usually respond by saying that it's really sweet of them, but I have a partner. If he discussion is going 'round the houses', I'll introduce a 'we have lived here for x years' or always talk in the first person plural.... At a push, you could always wear a ring on your third left-hand finger. Sorted.....
Author pandagirl Posted July 5, 2010 Author Posted July 5, 2010 I know, I should, and often do, just insert his name into conversation, but I guess I'm self-conscious as coming off too obvious. I actually do say his *name* often, but I guess I just don't refer to him a "my boyfriend."
Morals Posted July 5, 2010 Posted July 5, 2010 I know, I should, and often do, just insert his name into conversation, but I guess I'm self-conscious as coming off too obvious. I actually do say his *name* often, but I guess I just don't refer to him a "my boyfriend." If you say it enough, the guy will probably pick up on the fact that that name=your boyfriend. FYI if he was dissapointed I'd keep him at arms length until I could determine that he wasn't an "orbiter" as Carhill puts it. Unless you like orbiters, but I wouldn't condone that behavior as it hurts both sides.
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