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Dating: Priority vs. Option


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Posted

I've been out on dates with a girl over the past month or so. it's been fun so far, good chemistry, conversation etc. Dates are always fun and never lag. She calls me nearly every day to talk. However, it feels like I am the one doing the majority of the date planning. She's a social butterfly, so always has plans on the go. At times, it feels like she is fitting me into her schedule rather than actively wanting to plan dates from her end.

 

So, my question is, do I just back off asking and see if she takes the intiative to plan dates, or still try and suggest dates and take a 'see how it goes' attitude?

 

I don't want to make things too serious sounding, since it's still early, but I also don't want to be wasting my time if she's not that serious about dating in her life right now.

Posted

As long as she continues to fit you into her schedule, I wouldn't worry about it.

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Posted

True, as long as it feels she's into still going out and it doesnt' become a burden in trying to make plans or she starts blowing me off.

 

Just have to relax and go with the flow I suppose for now.

Posted

My bet is she doesn't want to have to be the one to pursue the guy. So if you back off, she might follow suite.

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Posted

Fair point Jersey.

 

This is always the period of dating that seems the trickiest to navigate in my experience. You know they are interested enough to have gone out on quite a few dates and so far the connection is great, but you are also not at the point where you are in a 'relationship' or have had any sort of conversation about your 'status'.

 

It's trying to relax and enjoy the dates while at the same time trying to figure out where you stand.

Posted

I usually let the guys do all the pursuing in the beginning of a relationship in terms of planning dates, calling, etc. If she's making time for you in her "busy" schedule then she obviously wants to hang out with you. It's not like she doesn't have other options to fill her time slots with. I think everything is fine and normal.

 

You are making out and stuff, right?

Posted

northstar, she's already initiating the daily contact so in some ways, she's doing more than many women.

 

As for expecting her to plan dates, for some women like myself, until it becomes a relationship, this is the guy's job.

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Posted
I usually let the guys do all the pursuing in the beginning of a relationship in terms of planning dates, calling, etc. If she's making time for you in her "busy" schedule then she obviously wants to hang out with you. It's not like she doesn't have other options to fill her time slots with. I think everything is fine and normal.

 

You are making out and stuff, right?

 

 

Thanks. Yes, there is that stuff going on, so I know there is definitely mutual attraction.

 

I think it was more a concern that if I wasn't asking her about her free time to go out, that she wouldn't take the lead. Guess i was just trying to gauge her interest level so far.

 

TBF - yes, it's nice that she does most of the calling - so I guess that is a good sign. If she wasn't that interested, I doubt she'd call so much

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