jond77 Posted July 5, 2010 Share Posted July 5, 2010 (edited) Hi so some of you may have read my story, but I need some advice re my stuff. I returned my ex's bed last week. She wasn't home so it was easy for me just to drop it off. Two days later she emailed me and said there is stuff for me there and I can come get it if I am ready to see her. I am not ready to see her, I don't want to ever really. But I do want this stuff back. I said don;t worry about it and that was it. But having thought about it I want it back. I don't want to email here to resume bloody contact and I don't want to see her. Any advice at all? Also I am becoming increasingly isolated, my family have been great but my friends are busy with their own families and relationships so I am finding it difficult to find people to socialise with. This is something I love I have always enjoyed hanging out with people but have lost a lot of friends out of this. Edited July 5, 2010 by jond77 Link to post Share on other sites
cleveraccountname Posted July 5, 2010 Share Posted July 5, 2010 Did she ask you to drop off the bed? If so, perhaps you can use that as leverage. I think it's fair that she should drop off your stuff considering you dropped off hers. If you dropped off the bed out of the kindness of your own heart, then you can still request that she bring your stuff to your place. You sound like you are a bit hostile towards her, and I don't recommend letter her see that when you ask her (even if she has hurt you a whole bunch, if you be all angry when you ask for your stuff, she's only going to respond defensively - ie: tell you to **** off and do it yourself!) My recommendation - be completely and utterly diplomatic about it, and relatively honest. Send her an email or a text saying something like: I don't feel comfortable coming to your place again as I don't want to complicate things. I dropped off your bed so that you wouldn't have to be in the difficult position of having to come and get it. I would appreciate if you would drop off my stuff at my place. Also, tell her a time that you won't be home. If she says no - be honest and open with a member of your family, ask them if they will get your stuff for you. The absolute last resort should be you going there yourself, as sometimes the 'you need to come and pick up some of your stuff' line is used to re-establish contact. As for the social life: Sounds like you need to meet some new people....These are the places that I have met new people when I've been in this position: Sporting clubs Volunteering Classes (learn a language, an art form, dance etc..) Good luck! Link to post Share on other sites
Author jond77 Posted July 5, 2010 Author Share Posted July 5, 2010 Thanks for your advice. It is not so much hostility, just that I want to try and maintain NC for as long as possible because it keeps getting broken by logistical/admin issues. I will try that text and see what happens. You are right I do need to meet new people, problems with anxiety at the moment hopefully I can overcome that. Link to post Share on other sites
Author jond77 Posted July 6, 2010 Author Share Posted July 6, 2010 So I sent an email like you said. Re reading it it was a bit cold but oh well. Havent heard back yet hope too soon Link to post Share on other sites
cleveraccountname Posted July 6, 2010 Share Posted July 6, 2010 check out http://www.depressionforums.org tons of support for anxiety sufferers, just explain your situation and ask any questions you like, lots of helpful people there. don't worry about the email being somewhat cold, it should be! Link to post Share on other sites
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