nc2nv Posted July 5, 2010 Posted July 5, 2010 Okay so me and my wife have been having problems lately... i recently moved out of state so we could be together, i quit my job and left my family everything i have ever known, we hit a bit of a rough patch recently with us not getting along cause i cannot find a job. she thinks i'm not trying hard enough. and we end up getting into a fight. and it leaves me wanting to end everything and go back home. well last night we were at a friends house and my wife was drinking and everyone was drinking having a good time, well, my wife had a few beers before we got there... and said she was done drinking for the night, well that didnt last long at all and shes drunk within the hour, and she ends up horsing around trying to throw ppl in the pool ive known these friends of ours for about 2 months and i have never seen the person she was trying to throw in the pool and she ends up in the pool with all her clothes on and i feel kinda upset at this point cause in a way she is embarrassing me. well about 5 mins later i get up to use the rest room and my friend was showing me something, and i said it was "cool" and "how can i get one" and his wife (she is really good friends with my wife) tells me "you could buy one if you had a job" now this just set me over the deep end. and i was pretty upset for her to tell me this cause it sounds like my wife is putting me in a negative light. and i feel betrayed. and i told her how i feel about it and she said "all i said was you Didnt have a job, and that we are not getting along" and she acts as if its no big deal. what should i do? please help me.
califnan Posted July 5, 2010 Posted July 5, 2010 Your not being able to find a job - in this terrible economy, should not be a dealbreaker in a marriage.. Is your wife employed, and are you able to receive unemployment benefits until you find a job.. I know this has nothing to do with your situation, I am only asking.. I cannot tell you what to do about your wife -If it were me in your position, I would clam up with her and not even wish to continue to socialize with the friends.. But perhaps this is not the correct advice. Either way, your wife should be made to know (in baby talk if necessary) that she is humiliating you. You may wish relocate where ever it takes - in order to find the job for your profession .. while continuing to reassess your marriage..
Author nc2nv Posted July 5, 2010 Author Posted July 5, 2010 She is employed i have no income. i guess what im trying to figure out is do i have a right to be upset? because she is running to her friends and saying whatever it is she is saying... i mean i guess i should give her then ben of the doubt. but i mean who says that kind of stuff to someone? especially if my wife only said "he don't have a job and we are not getting along" wouldnt you think there is more to this? im feeling really upset right now and she acts as if I'm blowing it up and making an excuse to cut my loss's and go home without her.
califnan Posted July 5, 2010 Posted July 5, 2010 I think you have a right to be upset.. She should not be discussing you and her marriage with anyone but you.. Explain this to her one more time, if necessary.. All you can do, is to continue to look for work - in other areas if necessary (through internet, employment agencies, etc) .. But to take her obvious priorities/values under advisement - and to reassess the marriage through all of this - and then afterward.
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