graywolf Posted July 4, 2010 Posted July 4, 2010 Okay, I desperately need help and I literally just right now at 4:00 a.m. in the morning signed up for this account because I can't think straight for myself right now. (sorry for the bad typos, I really don't think it matters). There is this woman that I have been in a relationship for almost 2 years now. We are both in college, she goes to a different college from me but close by (I go to UCLA). I am 19 (still young i know) and so is she. We've known each other since 7th grade and have been best of friends since like 10th grade. We were doing so well, and I feel that I am truly in love with her. I know that I am, because she makes me whole and makes me want to do things that I wouldn't have begun to do without her. With her, I feel like the world does matter, as long as she's in it (I know, it may sound needy, but I am actually a very independent person). She says that she is deeply in love with me also, she would even plan our marriage together and everything. Okay, so we get into another little argument about spending time together or something. WE too have our ups and downs because what relationship doesnt right? And then she says she wants a "break," that she truly loves me but she wants to feel "independent" because she feels like she "depends" on me too much and wants to "experience the world." She says that it would be good for the both of us? I have no idea what's going on in her head. So I made the mistake of trying to keep us together (yes I know I did some stupid stuff), and now she won't even talk to me. She said she wanted to be friends at least so I tried to be her friend but now she's making no contact. This breakup happened 4 days ago and I'm giving her space because that's what she said she wanted. I haven't talked to her since. Just around a week ago, she sent me a letter in the mail asking me to marry her! and we live like less than a 5 minute walk from each other, so I thought that was a very nice, personal, and considerate thing to do and that she really cares about me. Honestly I don't get it. She did mention that her sister just got back from the experience of a lifetime in another continent and that influenced her decision (i'm guessing she feels she's missing out on that?). So basically my question is, what is this...? Does she still love me and really is that confused? Do most girls go through this independent phase? She swears to me there is no one else, no other guy because she wouldn't dream of doing that ever. And that if she got hold of me in the future when we both matured and had more experience in life that she would grab me and never let go of me. I don't know what to do. I truly love her, and I miss her so much. She makes me feel like I literally died and went to heaven. When I'm with her, I feel like I can do anything, and I'll still be happy because I have her. But now I'm lost and depressed... I know that I need to give her space, which I am. But what do you guys think this means? Please help, anyone. I just want to know if she's thinking of me and missing me as much as I miss her, but there's no way of really knowing. Should I move on? Because I really don't think I can this time. I think she's the 'one.' I've been in this situation before and have moved on, but she's different to me and I feel like I won't be able to move forward this time. If any girls can please reply to this, I just want to know if you ladies ever truly love someone but really do feel the need to gain some independence, or if that's just an easy let down... Thanks in advance. And i've given her NC for 4 days now... it's really painful. God forbid that she's already seeing someone else. p.s. a bit of more info. she also mentioned while she was "breaking up" with me how this is like her version of joining the military (because I always talk about joining the military) and how she's also doing this so that I wouldn't have to go through the pain of worrying what she's doing or where she is while she's on this "life-changing experience" that she needs... IS this a load of crap? Or is this possibly sincere, and that she actually wants to become more independent so that she is ready if and when I join the military? ionno... HELP!!! Also its her birthday on July 7th, and as a friend and someone who really cares about her, I can't not do a little something for her. That's just rude. What do I do in that situation???
ItsJustLife Posted July 4, 2010 Posted July 4, 2010 lol readin this actually reminded me of myself 1 year ago. It will be hard to digestand you will ask yourself a bunch of questions about why it failed and if it did fail but with time you'll realize it just wasn't meant to be. I know, you guys loved each other, " it was special" right? I guess what you will come to realize is everyone on here says that and after a while you will realize that's just denial. I'm sorry bro, but the truth is she's just not that into you. Think about it this way...in 6 months time if your still broken up and a guy asks her on a date (a quality guy, someone that has potential) you think she will turn that down? I'm sorry to be blunt but it's the truth mate. She's kinda just keeping you as a back up plan, don't ever settle for being 2nd best. Just leave and don't contact her anymore, exercise your new found independen ce. Work on yourself, your soon to be in your 20's don't get tied down yet to a confused girl. Spend your time on somethng/someone where there is a sense of achievement at the end. Make an attempt to fix your flaws, work on any insecurities, make a better you! "but I guess things changed, it's funny how someone elses success brings pain when your no longer involved that person has it all" -Drake broski, your in your 20's soon, it's time to make moves in life and give people a reason to doubt that leaving yah was one of their worst moves. Good luck mate!
spriggig Posted July 4, 2010 Posted July 4, 2010 It's very simple, she projected out her future if she actually married you and decided she's not ready for that yet. Do not be friends with her, it never works and you'll waste a lot of time.
Author graywolf Posted July 5, 2010 Author Posted July 5, 2010 dang, I guess I am in serious denial. I guess I just have hopes that not all relationships turn out the same when this is mentioned, and that she actually did feel the need to improve HERSELF first. Ionno, I'm just in denial. Thanks for the advice bro. I'm gonna go eat this up and probably just go crazy... damn.
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