K2000kidd Posted July 4, 2010 Posted July 4, 2010 I have an old aqquaintence (never dated her) trying to reconnect with me she also admitted being bipolar. I would definitely consider dating her but not knowing enough about her or the disorder, i was hoping to get some personal stories from the users who have experiences the ups and downs of dating someone with bipolar disorder.
Tony T Posted July 4, 2010 Posted July 4, 2010 I'm telling you just how it is. It really depends on how bad the bipolar is and how good her medication is. However, in the BEST of circumstances it can be rough and life can be unpredictable. Now that you've come here for some advice, I'd say why even start something that could possibly be a nightmare. Of course, people will hammer me for advising that...as they usually do...but you could take your life to absolute hell if the person is moderately bipolar or worse. If you are really serious about this, use Google and do your research. My sister is bipolar. She's gained 150 pounds since she began taking medication about ten years ago. When I call her or she calls me, we never get past the two minute mark before she goes apeshxt over something I've said...or she goes off on strange tangents. I do suggest that if you are actually considering dating her you just be her friend for a while and start things off very slow. See how things go. Even the most healthy people will fool you into thinking they are the greatest thing that ever happened in the beginning. It's only after you've been around someone for a period of time that you can truly see how they're going to be. Some normal people can be more nightmarish than someone with bipolar disorder after a period of time. I hope I haven't confused you...but, hey, life is confusing.
tenaciousone Posted July 4, 2010 Posted July 4, 2010 Well I come at this from personal experience. I would not recommend it as Tony said especially since you have not become involved yet. I was dating someone who I thought was great and he is. He is just Bipolar and has tried killing himself 2 times. Of course, this was before he was officially diagnosed and without medication. In hindsight, I found myself always being in pulled in one direction to the next emotionally. In my experience, he was always chasing the manic side of his disease. The manic side was his drug. Just not a good idea! Be a friend and that will even be taxing to no end for you. Good luck to you and your decisions.
Author K2000kidd Posted July 4, 2010 Author Posted July 4, 2010 Oh believe me i've googled til my hands were numb but always come across the same old signs, symptoms, wiki articles etc none of the personal stories that i'm REALLY looking for. I just want first hand accounts of the dealing with illness from the other side of the fence so to speak I've also found some people who have probably never dated someone with a mental illness asking "would you ever date a diabetic?" Not really the same thing is it?
alexlakeman Posted July 4, 2010 Posted July 4, 2010 I thought my experience was unique but seeing some of the responses, dat doesn't seem to b d case I date a bipolar chic about 6 yrs ago. The easiest way to say it is "she was a f'n psycho". All would b fine, and if one unpredicable thing would go wrong, she would turn crazy on me, even got physical a few times, arguing to the point I had to call d cops a few times. I would always take her back, b/c when she was fine, she was a good girl. I always thought that she would b fine if she took her meds, but she didn't take d meds regularly and even when she did it was nuts. She would threaten to kill herseld a bunch of times, and I mean she sounded beleivable! I was scared This whole dilema stressed me out so much, I got depressed myself and gained a load of weight. Finally dumped her azz after 9 mths or so. Be her freind, but I would say they are undateable
Crusoe Posted July 4, 2010 Posted July 4, 2010 Personal stories? My ex was Bipolar, on medication (which she was 80% of the time) she was the most wonderful person I have ever known. Off medication she turned into a monster. A devious, manipuatve, spiteful, selfish, lying, cheating, drunken, drug abusing bitch. She screwed my friends, strangers, even tried it on with family. She stabbed me twice during fits of rage. Was so jealous she would park her car opposite my work and watch me all day long. Would accuse me of affairs if I even said hello to another woman. I once woke up to find my b*ll*cks in her left hand and a pair of scissors in her right because she dreamt I was screwing her mother. Sometimes she would sit in a dark room staring at the wall for hours then drink herself silly and disappear for a few days. Sometimes she wouldn't even recognise me when I came home from work and run away thinking I was a burglar. Sometimes she was little more than a zombie and I would have to bathe her, dress her and feed her like a baby. Other times I would sneak out the bedroom and go sleep in the spare room (with a locked door) because I was didn't know who was in bed with me. Then there is the put downs, the snides, spite and vitriol that poured from her mouth. When she left she told everyone I beat and raped her, cost me everything and everyone. Not everyone with Bipolar is that bad but many are, and it can make for a real hard and stressful life.
Loquacious Miss L. Posted July 4, 2010 Posted July 4, 2010 I will just put it out there. I am bipolar. There are two types of BP disorder, type one and 2. Type One (which I have, is less severe than type 2). I will agree with other posters that without meds, it can be tough. When someone is bipolar, they can have both manic (hence the super "crazy" side of bipolar disorder) and depressive episodes. (which is more my case.) Bipolar is also cyclical, some triggers can set it off and set the person into their cycle. The manic side can be pretty bad; compulsive behavior and mood swings, up one minute and down the next for no reasons. The depressive episodes can render one bedridden at times. I speak from experience when I say that this disorder is difficult to deal with sometimes. I am on two different medications for it, a good combonation, and I feel like a "normal" person now. When someone is trying to get right with their meds, but TRYING to get better, I think that's a good thing. I'm sure all of the extreme circumstances listed above are true. However, not everyone that has it, has it bad. Does the person you're interested in take an active approach to controlling this? Are they on medication? Do they know when one of their cycles is coming on? I'm thinking it would be difficult to date someone with this, but not impossible. I have managed to have relationships although I am bipolar. You just need to be educated about this, is all. Take it slow, try to assess how she is dealing with it before getting involved too deep. The reason I say that is because I will not lie--when I was not on medication life was extremely unpleasant. This disorder is awful at times because it's unfortunate....the person's brain cannot slow down!! It's not pleasant, but manageable.
Crusoe Posted July 4, 2010 Posted July 4, 2010 K2000, something I should add, despite all the trouble my ex caused, I don't regret being with her. She changed my entire outlook on life and there is nothing quite like loving bipolar.
Gero Posted July 4, 2010 Posted July 4, 2010 It depends on how intense it is and whether they are on the right medication. My cousin is bi-polar. He used to freak out over stuff all of the time. If his mom would yell at him to take out the trash or something and he was playing a game or something, he would freak out and yell. Speaking of games, he would also freak out if he couldn't get past a part in a game. I was there once when he and his mom got into a huge argument and he looked like he was going to hit her. There was another time that I heard that he grabbed one of his samurai swords that he has in his room and ran out of the room with it. Apparently he flipped out because his mom was watching some show or movie about abusive relationships or something and he went nuts. He also freaks out over little things like when we went to a restaurant once. It had a salad bar and he didn't want any of the salad. He freaked out because he thought that the cashier wouldn't let him go through with an empty plate and get what he wanted from the other sections. He went outside and sat down on a bench. There were times at work where he would flip out as well and punch something or throw something. There were even times where he would have to be talked into coming back into work because he was flipping out. I'm sure he has a pretty bad case of bi-polar disorder, but he has been a lot better since he got on some new medication. I'm not sure what it is, but I haven't seen him flip out in forever. The thing is that this is a major issue for some people and I wouldn't suggest getting involved with someone that has this disorder unless you really love them and are willing to look past it and help them out or they realize that they have a problem and are treating it properly. Good luck.
Recommended Posts