PlumPudding Posted July 4, 2010 Posted July 4, 2010 I'm stuck. I know I've asked other questions here but I found out the core reason because of all of his behavior . . . I have a boyfriend I've been with for about 9 months now and we're both about 20. We met in college and had a wonderful relationship until the summer break hit and he didn't try to keep in contact with me. As of now I haven't had a word from him in a week. He's only said a few words all summer. I went up to see him and he was very just "warm" to me--didn't even want to give me a hug. So before I left I confronted him and asked him what he thought about our relationship and he said he likes dating me and he likes me but he can't see him marrying me because I've told him I have PCOS and endometriosis and don't know if I can have children. And because don't want children right now, he thinks that I won't ever want to (which I'm sure I will!!!). He said he'll keep dating me if I wanted to as well, but that in one or two years he would probably have to dump me. Turns out after I left, very upset (and got in a car accident . . . not a fun day), I found out he was actually crying and said "I don't know if I can marry her but she's like my best friend and I love being with her." He usually never has any emotion so hearing this was interesting. But now I really don't know what to do. He said we could talk about this (he said he would make time) and I told him he should be the one to tell me when he's ready because I told him I was sometime last week. He hasn't called yet. But if he does, I'm not sure what to do. I'm not sure what to say or anything. What do you all think about this? I'm so very lost. And if he doesn't call? I know he's very busy and this is a holiday weekend but should I remind him or something?
Diezel Posted July 4, 2010 Posted July 4, 2010 Dear OP, as soon as ANY SO in my life says the words: Break Dump Space ... in reference to me and our relationship, she is done for, regardless of circumstances. Are you willing to wait the whole year or 2 to see what happens? Your response to that should have been: It's over. And btw, he never said: I love her. He said he loved being with you. I love hanging out with my landlord, but I wouldn't marry the guy. Get it?
SouthernSunshine Posted July 4, 2010 Posted July 4, 2010 Dear OP, as soon as ANY SO in my life says the words: Break Dump Space ... in reference to me and our relationship, she is done for, regardless of circumstances. Are you willing to wait the whole year or 2 to see what happens? Your response to that should have been: It's over. And btw, he never said: I love her. He said he loved being with you. I love hanging out with my landlord, but I wouldn't marry the guy. Get it? Completely agree!
lolapalooza Posted July 4, 2010 Posted July 4, 2010 Yep. If he really loved you, he'd be willing to work through any possible infertility issues. Frankly, I think that was just a lame excuse to blame you for something you have no control over. Most 20-year old guys aren't thinking about fertility and babies. At 20, they are concerned with NOT having babies!
Author PlumPudding Posted July 4, 2010 Author Posted July 4, 2010 Your response to that should have been: It's over. And btw, he never said: I love her. He said he loved being with you. I love hanging out with my landlord, but I wouldn't marry the guy. Get it? Haha, yeah. I know what you mean, but we are both very . . . well we think differently. We've both said in the course of the 9 months that we've loved each other maybe once but we always showed it and knew it. Neither of us believe in that "love" that will solve all problems or anything. I get what you mean about once those words are said, though. They probably really mean it's over with . . . :/
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