Do Hobbies Come With Baggage?

[ecto-1]

...a dealbreaker for you?

 

I saw a couple of online dating profiles, this woman had it going for her....of course her profile seemed more like bragging than anything else.

 

In part of her profile she has this:

 

i attend many sporting events through out the year my teams are as follows NFL: Steelers NHL: Penguins NBA: Magic MLB: Tampa Bay College. I already have tickets for the upcoming NFL season. I do have jerseys, gear, accessories and i do wear them with pride! If you don't like sports you probably wouldn't want to hang out with me!

 

That being said, first, I don't really hear of too many FEMALE sports fanatics, lol...are gone the days of women being the "Football Widows", so now it's my turn? lol

 

Anyhow, that being said, are there certain hobbies out there that you're into that you're mate isn't into....would it be a deal breaker if they were not?

 

I have noticed CERTAIN hobbies seem to be deal breakers of a prospective mate is not into it as INTENTLY as they would like them to be.

 

I'll try to name off some, and some of you could add to the list if you desire.

 

1. Sports of course...if ya can't talk sports with someone on a date, it's a deal breaker for some

2. Harley/Motorcycle Riders - I've noticed this a lot as well.

3. Believe it or not, people who ride horses...I've actually had a woman turn me down because her last boyfriend didn't "get up early in the morning all the time" to tend to her flock. (stable maint., feeding, horse shoeing, etc)

 

 

I could throw in Sci-Fi where people do the conventions, wear costumes, the whole Star Trek Convention thing, but personally, I don't see any conflict here with people like

 

The guy, who wears the Star Trek outfits to the convention, and the girlfriend that hangs out with him......I think even people who aren't into Sci-Fi STILL thinks Sci-FI is cool to a CERTAIN extent. So it's just a bonus to find someone who is into sci-fi

 

It also might depend on the INTENSITY of how much one is into the hobby as opposed to the casual hobbyist.

 

I like to paintball, but I can barely find women to go paint balling with me....but that's not a problem with me at all, because it's more of a guy game, and women are aware of the pain of paintballs pelting them.....and it's all too unappealing to them.

 

 

So, anyone care to share stories of people they dated where hobbies became an issue, or not an issue in dating??

 

Then there are the people that fall in the "Diversfied" or "try anything at least once" category...the "Well-rounded" individuals.

 

I'm more of a diversified person though....and there are some people who will TRY anything. I think those people have less issues when it comes to dating and hobbies.

Edited July 4, 2010 by ecto-1

[zetkin]

Well, that's an interesting issue. and as usually there's as many different opinions as people on the earth:laugh:

 

What you said about SCI-FI, I don't agree with you. Personally I never really liked it, for me it seems to be a hobby for kids/teenagers. And it would be a deal breaker for me, if a grown-up man was that much into it. (of course, again it depends on intensity, as you said)

 

so a deal breaker for me is not a specific thing, but the qualities, like:

a) maturity. SCI-FI is definitely not mature enough for me:D

b) devotion. hobby is not our whole life, so when the hobby comes first for a guy, and only then anything else, I wouldn't struggle to deal with it.

c) my personal attitude to the hobby. I mean sure there are some hobbies, I would consider dumb, I just can't come up with them right now. But even if I don't do something, but I still can value it, that is ok, I can tolerate.

 

Really bad on the other hand is when a person has no hobby at all.

I don't understand as well another extreme - people who seem to invest all their time and money (at least most of it) into their hobby. Too much is never healthy...

 

And about the stories - my uncle and his wife broke up because of his passion for sculpturing plasticine solders:laugh::laugh:, which she considered absolutely aimless and a complete waste of time and money.

[ecto-1]

And about the stories - my uncle and his wife broke up because of his passion for sculpturing plasticine solders:laugh::laugh:, which she considered absolutely aimless and a complete waste of time and money.

 

His wife dumped him because of that? Come on, there was more to it than that. LOL

 

Actually, that's a healthy hobby, at least his doing something, being creative, etc. He's keeping busy. Unless he wasn't paying any attention to her, then I could see how that could be a problem.

[zetkin]

His wife dumped him because of that? Come on, there was more to it than that. LOL

 

Actually, that's a healthy hobby, at least his doing something, being creative, etc. He's keeping busy. Unless he wasn't paying any attention to her, then I could see how that could be a problem.

 

Well he was (and actually still is) a little bit remote, he definitely wasn't paying enough attention to his wife and kids, and family matters and problems, and was (if you can say so) odd one in the family. The family kind of grew up to deal without him, so the wife basically kicked him out like some old unnecessary stuff. That's actually a sad story:(

[georgia girl]

JMHO, but I think for any relationship to work long term, both people have to remain individuals and have some singular pursuits, whether that be a hobby, a sport, whatever. Two people cannot be so homogenous that they don't do ANYTHING without the other person.

 

That being said, I think Zetkin makes an excellent point about devotion (to me, priorities). I'm an athlete, but I once ended a serious relationship when my boyfriend decided to go to a cycling even rather than attend a function we were both supposed to go to. Why? Because this was really more of an argument about priorities. It was a petty argument that highlighted what was wrong in our relationship: he regularly didn't - and wouldn't - choose his relationship with me over whatever else offered momentary pleasure.

 

Meanwhile, my fiance is a serious triathlete and while he spends a great deal of time training/competing, he keeps it into perspective (as do I as a runner). Our relationship is enhanced by our hobbies, vs. being diminished by them.

[Diezel]

When one of your hobbies involves travelling on airplanes all the time, then yes, it involves baggage.

 

Otherwise, anyone that sees your hobbies as cumbersome is probably not intended to live a full life with you.

[Gallaxia]

That's really interesting because having those differences is what keeps you an individual in a unit.

 

Isn't being a fanatic (of anything) an overcompensation for a lack of something, somewhere else? To dismiss someone simply because they don't enjoy the same things you do (at 100% capacity) sounds like an unnecessary obstacle. It's only doing a disservice to yourself! Unless of course it's your profession, then that's different.

[Morals]

I think there are ALOT of fallacies in this thread.

 

Like other have said, obsessing too much over one thing is bad, but what's in a hobby? Would you considering reading a hobby?

 

What about watching movies? A hobby is something you do in your free time, to relax yourself.

 

If a person doesn't have the same hobbies as you, that's fine. You might end up teaching each other things about your lifestyle that they might find interesting and try.

 

I'd also like to comment on the SCI-FI convention thing. You are comparing people who watch/play sports to going to a convention, which is not a valid analogy. You make it seem like these people go to conventions all the time, and that people who do go to these conventions are "wierd".

 

Shame on you. If you don't like it that's fine, but who are you to deem what you *THINK* is mature or a hobby. Conventions only happen in certain towns, a few times a year. Going to a convention is akin to going to a concert. You may not go to them all the time, but when one near you is playing, you want to go!

 

In the meantime these people do normal day-to-day activites. It's not like they go around town dressed as a stormtrooper 24/7...

 

Seriously...some of the thinking on here is so restricted it's no wonder you have relationship issues.

[Gallaxia]

 

Seriously...some of the thinking on here is so restricted it's no wonder you have relationship issues.

 

And it's a good thing you're here to fix it all, right?

 

Of course there are going to be different views on any given topic. The point of these threads is to discuss! I mean let's be realistic here. Lighten up, sheesh!

[lovelydemon]

I feel horrible but I do have a whole list of things that would bother me, the first one would be video games, if I see it in someone's profile I have no interest in this person no matter what. I hear about it all the time from my friends and it was a deal breaker between me and my ex. He would play till at least 2 am most nights (never mind dinner and sex) and sleep till 2 in the afternoon on Sundays. No, thank you. If it is such a big part of your life you have to mention it in your profile, I'm not interested. The other one would be extreme sports (skydiving and such), which again derives from my ex pushing me to do those things like I was his guy friend or something. I, personally, don't know too many women that enjoy extreme sports and if that's the only thing a guy is willing to do on the weekends and everything else is not cool enough for him, we are not going to have much in common.

[allina]

Hobbies can be deal breakers. I wouldn't touch a man that hunts or goes fishing Some people think of those things as hobbies.

 

A lot of hobbies also have to do with lifestyle. Being a part of a church group can be a hobby and also a deal breaker for me. Hobbies that involved a very inactive lifestyle probably wouldn't work well with me either.

 

Some people just aren't a good match based on likes, dislikes and life styles.

[Morals]

Hobbies can be deal breakers. I wouldn't touch a man that hunts or goes fishing Some people think of those things as hobbies.

 

A lot of hobbies also have to do with lifestyle. Being a part of a church group can be a hobby and also a deal breaker for me. Hobbies that involved a very inactive lifestyle probably wouldn't work well with me either.

 

Some people just aren't a good match based on likes, dislikes and life styles.

 

I agree, some hobbies reflect personality style, and can be something you know would not agree with you.

 

But, for anyone to consider someone's hobby "immature" is actually an immaturity on their part, to be unable to accept someone's hobby as something they like, and instead of just viewing it as something they themselves wouldn't participate in, they have to label it as "immature".

 

I'm sorry, that statement itself set me off. It's one thing to not like a hobby. It's another to start labeling it in a derogatory way based on *your* perceptiosn of it.

 

(this is nothing to do with you, I'm just reflecting on your statement and the statements previously mentioned).

 

@ Gallaxia. It's one thing to discuss. It's another to label someone's activities in a negative fashion simply because you don't agree with them.

[jackson30]

Hobbies can be deal breakers. I wouldn't touch a man that hunts or goes fishing Some people think of those things as hobbies.

 

What's wrong with hunting and fishing?

[ecto-1]

I agree, some hobbies reflect personality style, and can be something you know would not agree with you.

 

But, for anyone to consider someone's hobby "immature" is actually an immaturity on their part, to be unable to accept someone's hobby as something they like, and instead of just viewing it as something they themselves wouldn't participate in, they have to label it as "immature".

 

I'm sorry, that statement itself set me off. It's one thing to not like a hobby. It's another to start labeling it in a derogatory way based on *your* perceptiosn of it.

 

(this is nothing to do with you, I'm just reflecting on your statement and the statements previously mentioned).

 

@ Gallaxia. It's one thing to discuss. It's another to label someone's activities in a negative fashion simply because you don't agree with them.

 

This is funny, because I don't know if anyone is familiar with the B-Movie Actor Bruce Campbell

 

I am thinking even MORE people know him now, because he's not doing goofy Sci-Fi flicks currently, and actually in a traditional series on USA Network called BURN NOTICE

 

There was a commentary with him being interviewed talking about how they're different LEVELS of fandom.

 

You have the guy that just wears the T-shirt and a couple of figures/statues from a show.

 

To the guy who has all the DVD Collections to all the posters on his wall in his room, to every single collectible figure known to man

 

Then there are the people who do that AND dress up on costume at the conventions (one even legally changed her name to Xena Warrior Princess and even had plastic surgery done on her face to look like her, but actually didn't wind up looking like her in my opinion, lol)

 

What was even more funny, Bruce was in the box office after his screening of Evil Dead to his fans where he made his appearance, he snagged a random by stander to talk to, who had no idea WHO he was, so he was talking to her about these cheesy B movies, and she was telling him how someone with a low intellect would have to watch such films...and he says to her, "So you would have to be a complete moron to watch those films", just reaffirming what she said....it was funny, because HE is the actor in such bad films...and she's degrading him and his fans and she was unaware of what she doing.

[zetkin]

I agree, some hobbies reflect personality style, and can be something you know would not agree with you.

 

But, for anyone to consider someone's hobby "immature" is actually an immaturity on their part, to be unable to accept someone's hobby as something they like, and instead of just viewing it as something they themselves wouldn't participate in, they have to label it as "immature".

 

I'm sorry, that statement itself set me off. It's one thing to not like a hobby. It's another to start labeling it in a derogatory way based on *your* perceptiosn of it.

 

(this is nothing to do with you, I'm just reflecting on your statement and the statements previously mentioned).

 

@ Gallaxia. It's one thing to discuss. It's another to label someone's activities in a negative fashion simply because you don't agree with them.

 

 

Well, maybe I must have put maturity in the group "my personal attitude to the hobby", sorry for the misunderstanding. But it just came up to my mind when I heard that sci-fi is supposed to be cool by most people (which is another label, by the way, even though it's positive). Excuse me if I got you on the raw, but I did not intend to. I was simply expressing my point of view, and in your logic anyone's point of view can be considered labeling, if it bugs personally you.

 

It's just that there are activities which are more interesting to a kid, some are mostly for adults and I think there's nothing wrong that people's interests change with age. We all grow and change, and all the time. So I usually expect that people's hobbies grow up with them. That's the way I am. And here I am just sharing my opinion with others. So I don't understand why you are making such a big deal.

[allina]

I agree, some hobbies reflect personality style, and can be something you know would not agree with you.

 

But, for anyone to consider someone's hobby "immature" is actually an immaturity on their part, to be unable to accept someone's hobby as something they like, and instead of just viewing it as something they themselves wouldn't participate in, they have to label it as "immature".

 

I'm sorry, that statement itself set me off. It's one thing to not like a hobby. It's another to start labeling it in a derogatory way based on *your* perceptiosn of it.

 

(this is nothing to do with you, I'm just reflecting on your statement and the statements previously mentioned).

 

@ Gallaxia. It's one thing to discuss. It's another to label someone's activities in a negative fashion simply because you don't agree with them.

 

I somewhat agree. Especially since I don't mind some of the hobbies called immature i this thread. However there are definitely hobbies that I find repulsive and I will label them in a negative fashion because that's how I feel.

 

What's wrong with hunting and fishing?

 

Uhhh they're completely repulsive. Any man who kills animals for fun is a sick f*ck.

[Gallaxia]

 

@ Gallaxia. It's one thing to discuss. It's another to label someone's activities in a negative fashion simply because you don't agree with them.

 

And it's another thing to sit and insult fellow users. Look, I'm not trying to thread-jack or anything but your view could have been said without the insult. After all, you are on the same site as the people you say might be "very flawed". I'd like to think everyone's in this together in the hopes of being enlightened in some way on our individual journeys. Life's crazy enough!

Edited July 4, 2010 by Gallaxia

[ecto-1]

It's just that there are activities which are more interesting to a kid, some are mostly for adults and I think there's nothing wrong that people's interests change with age. We all grow and change, and all the time. So I usually expect that people's hobbies grow up with them. That's the way I am. And here I am just sharing my opinion with others. So I don't understand why you are making such a big deal.

 

I think, Zetkin, that adult men will continue to do the Sci-Fi thing as long as adult WOMEN....will continue do to the same thing. ;-)

 

Click the link, and you'll probably know why. lol

[zetkin]

I think, Zetkin, that adult men will continue to do the Sci-Fi thing as long as adult WOMEN....will continue do to the same thing. ;-)

 

Click the link, and you'll probably know why. lol

 

Wow, now I understand:laugh::laugh:

[Morals]

Thumbs up on the link. My kinda girl!

[ecto-1]

Wow, now I understand:laugh::laugh:

 

 

If you liked this, you'll bust a gut here

 

 

Star Wars Nerds I

Star Wars Nerds II

[skydiveaddict]

I find that most girls wont tolerate my hobby

[aerogurl87]

I love music myself, and any guy who hates music wouldn't work well with me. With that said, my boyfriend loves cars and working on his car, I know next to nothing about them. He talks to me about them and I listen, some of it is actually pretty interesting to learn since he takes his time explaining it to me (and I think he enjoys teaching me something). I love history, and although he likes it, he's not as big on it as I am. So I enjoy telling him about something new I learn. It all balances itself out. We both love music though and watching the Food Network and cooking, so we have things to do together. But honestly I'm glad we're not crazy about the same things, that'd get kind of boring after awhile and us having separate hobbies gives us things to do by ourselves so we have some alone time.

[ecto-1]

I like food and things that are edible...that's usually not a problem in a prospective mate.