Mixin6 Posted July 4, 2010 Posted July 4, 2010 A couple of days ago, I went to see an ex I dated a few years ago. Didn't work out but I put the past behind. Every now and then I'll get an email from her just to say hi but I know it's because her current dating situation sucks. So I had to go just to see if there was still something "there". NOTHING happened. No sex, no making out, not even a hug on the way in or out. And that's the way I wanted it. Been three years since we've seen each other so I certainly had no thoughts of making everything right with a magical roll in the sack. She didn't make any moves either. I left there a little confused because she kept mentioning a guy she was currently seeing but claimed it really wasn't going anywhere. Also said that she has tried the online dating thing as well as something called, "It's Just Lunch". She then went on to say she was gonna go to a BBQ over the weekend with an ex-boyfriend she hangs out with. She told me this ex of hers is gonna open a business not too far from where I live. I think she said it as if to say she was seeing someone who was doing "better" than me. Whatever. I didn't get upset or show any reaction. So my question is, was she telling me about her love life because she wanted to make me jealous and make it appear as if she is desirable? I could almost hear her say, " Hey look. If you don't get on board, there's plenty of other guys out there for me." We were at her place so maybe she felt "comfortable" saying these things to me there. On the way out, she said she wanted to see me again and that she would call when she was going to come out by my place. I left there kinda turned off because of all the guys she said she's involved with. However, I know in a week or two she'll text me saying she wants to see me. Wondering if I should just say, "Hey. It didn't work last time. Why would it work this time?" Or, "Look. If you wanna make this work then major changes are gonna have to be made." A few weeks ago, she thought I was dating someone in her building. When she couldn't figure out who it was, she cracked and called me with the silliest excuse I ever heard to get together with me. What's her angle? Does she still like me? Is she playing hard to get? Does she want me to be the one who chases her that way she says I'm the one who came crawling back?
sloudrou Posted July 4, 2010 Posted July 4, 2010 A couple of days ago, I went to see an ex I dated a few years ago. Didn't work out but I put the past behind. Every now and then I'll get an email from her just to say hi but I know it's because her current dating situation sucks. <snip> What's her angle? Does she still like me? Is she playing hard to get? Does she want me to be the one who chases her that way she says I'm the one who came crawling back? You've just answered your own question. She dumped you (or you dumped her), and now her dating situation sucks, so she wants a "friend" (i.e. you) to keep the seat beside her warm until she finds someone she really likes, and who she can use as an emotional tampon to complain about all these guys she's seeing on the side. The real question here is why you even want her back, knowing what you know about her, and knowing that if she cheats on her current bf with you, she'll end up cheating on you with someone else down the line. As far what you should do about it, the sound advice here is RUN! Don't walk away, RUN FOR THE HILLS! Block any means she currently has of contacting you (telephone, email, facebook whatever), and delete any means you have of contacting her, and start seeing other women. Do you really want such a skittish little twit bringing drama into your life, when you could do so much better?
DustySaltus Posted July 4, 2010 Posted July 4, 2010 Things in her life are not going as planned. This is a textbook case of an ego boost. I think what you need to ask yourself is why you felt the need to meet her after all these years. What is going on in your life that you thought it would make sense to go back into the past? Only you can answer that question. People who truly want to work things out will just come out and say it. They don't play games and they won't waste anytime saying that they made a mistake and are willing to do whatever it takes to make it work. I'm going to be honest with you, her life sounds like it's a mess right now. She's going through her rolodex to boost her ego and fulfill her own emotional needs. Don't fall into that trap. This has nothing to do with you and everything to do with her. Don't let her take a trip down memory lane and become a pawn in her game. IGNORE her and focus on yourself. She did not tell you that she made a mistake. She did not tell you that she wants to do what it takes to make it work. She spoke about other dudes. I can understand why after all this time you would meet with her to see where her head is at. Well, now you know and you can be at peace with your decision to move forward without her.
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