ecto-1 Posted July 4, 2010 Posted July 4, 2010 Guess you could say this is a 2-part post.... There was this woman I know through some friends I went out with once to see a movie, we had a nice time and such, we had a lot in common and so on. This weekend was coming up, and I asked her if she had any plans for the 4th of July weekend.(I guess she thought I was hinting around about getting together again). She said she was going to be out of town for the weekend and she asked me what I had going on. And I said I was going to a 4th of July party at some friends house (some of these people she knew as well) Well, I'm at the party, and guess who shows up...it was her that showed up, and she sees me, we give each other a hug, and I say, "Hey, funny meeting you here, I guess you decided not to go out of town?" And she said she was leaving Sunday (not ALL weekend, I guess) Funny, I mentioned I was going to the very same party she wound up at, but also funny when I told here what party I was going to be at, she didn't say, "Hey, I'm going to that party, too." I guess I caught her red-handed blowing me off? lol Anyhow, turns out she's one of those people that gets OVERLY drunk at house parties, well it was my first time seeing her at a social gathering. Good thing she wasn't driving though....but I tend to find drunkards (esp women I was prospectively interested) particularly annoying. Is this kind of a deal breaker for you? People who like to drink to the point of stumbling. Would you think, "Hm, good thing she did blow me off."?
Gero Posted July 4, 2010 Posted July 4, 2010 For me, yes. I don't know why you would want any kind of relationship with someone like that.
Author ecto-1 Posted July 4, 2010 Author Posted July 4, 2010 For me, yes. I don't know why you would want any kind of relationship with someone like that. Okay, let's say they aren't really in a habit of getting wasted all the time, but just once in a great while? When they actually do get an opportunity to drink. Still a turn off? What kind of disappointed me was the fact she kind of came off as the conservative or even admitted so when we were talking....then to see her act this way....turned me off...and disappointed me at the same time.
Gero Posted July 4, 2010 Posted July 4, 2010 Okay, let's say they aren't really in a habit of getting wasted all the time, but just once in a great while? When they actually do get an opportunity to drink. Still a turn off? What kind of disappointed me was the fact she kind of came off as the conservative or even admitted so when we were talking....then to see her act this way....turned me off...and disappointed me at the same time. It really depends on how much you like them. I never had the experience of finding out later that a girl drank a lot. I don't really know really. I guess as long as they are not a complete drunk and this is a rare occurrence then it's something that you could get over if you really liked them.
aerogurl87 Posted July 4, 2010 Posted July 4, 2010 I don't like dating guys who drink excessively, especially to the point of stumbling around, becoming extremely annoying, and/or blacking out. My boyfriend likes to go drinking with his friends from time to time (claims it's the Irish in him) and the first time he drunk texted me I blew him off completely the entire night. He learned his lesson though and learned his limit. One thing I refuse to tolerate in a boyfriend ever again is someone who drinks too much. My ex was like that, and after playing therapist to a drunken fool every other night for 5 months, I got sick of being around and talking to drunk people.
Diezel Posted July 4, 2010 Posted July 4, 2010 Okay, let's say they aren't really in a habit of getting wasted all the time, but just once in a great while? When they actually do get an opportunity to drink. Still a turn off? What kind of disappointed me was the fact she kind of came off as the conservative or even admitted so when we were talking....then to see her act this way....turned me off...and disappointed me at the same time. Isn't a lush, by definition, someone who drinks consistently and gets wasted all the time? Once you say it's "once in a great while" that changes the dynamic completely. And yes, it's a turn off. Who wants to date someone who is constantly getting blasted and complaining about hangovers the next day? And that last part you wrote... that's why I never believe the first "curtain" that a woman displays when it comes to personality. More often than not, a "shy, conservative, sweet, quiet, introverted" woman is nothing more than a thin veil disguising something completely different.
TaraMaiden Posted July 4, 2010 Posted July 4, 2010 My partner and I went to an Indian restaurant one evening. We had booked, but the bookings had been mixed up, and we ended up sharing a table for four, with another young couple, who as it turned out, were really nice, friendly and congenial. We were having a great time, and as we had just moved to the area, were quite pleased to have met a couple of locals who could have become really good friends. We shared a lot of interests and were having a great time together, eating, and even sampling each others' dishes. As the evening wore on, however, the woman began to get more and more drunk. Her boyfriend was also drinking, and she was matching him drink for drink, but he was holding it slightly better. But they got louder as the evening wore on, and she began to lose the plot.... She began flirting outrageously with my partner, which made it uncomfortable, and was clearly not in control of her faculties at all...her BF seemed to be finding this hilarious. And ordered more drinks.... It became extremely embarrassing, and eventually, we finished our meal, and decided to leave. We also left their contact details, which we had exchanged earlier in the evening, on the table. We never heard from them, at all. Either they had realised that they'd blown it (which I doubt) or they had been too drunk to remember, and had no idea whose details they had, or why (which I suspect is closer to the truth). Can't stand lushes. Anybody who willingly lets themselves lose control to the point of obliviousness, is just a loser, in my book. Drunk men are jerks. Drunk women? No dignity, no pride and they make themselves look completely brainless. It's not funny, it's not clever and it sure as hell isn't pretty.
Author ecto-1 Posted July 4, 2010 Author Posted July 4, 2010 Isn't a lush, by definition, someone who drinks consistently and gets wasted all the time? Once you say it's "once in a great while" that changes the dynamic completely. And yes, it's a turn off. Who wants to date someone who is constantly getting blasted and complaining about hangovers the next day? And that last part you wrote... that's why I never believe the first "curtain" that a woman displays when it comes to personality. More often than not, a "shy, conservative, sweet, quiet, introverted" woman is nothing more than a thin veil disguising something completely different. Yeah, she was even becoming a "woo girl" on occasion. lol (Just google WOO Girl) She was also joining the host's college-aged kids in Beer Pong and other drinking games, I kinda felt that was weird , not hanging around the "adults" of the party, but mostly with the college-aged kids at the house party. Tara, good story...lol...funny how a SEEMINGLY civilized couple can turn into complete fools and turn ya off just over night.
zetkin Posted July 4, 2010 Posted July 4, 2010 Well, of course people have different perception to alcohol, some become quiet, some on the contrary - become loud, annoying, uncontrollable or even aggressive, that is of course inappropriate. But as we are not talking about habitual drunkards, I'd say I am very open-minded, I never judge and never mind:laugh:, unless it really bugs me, of course. If a person is drunk but can still behaves him/herself, why should I have anything against. BUT if it comes to MY boyfriend, the guy I really care for - drinking is a serious deal breaker for me. I'd say any state of drunkenness, even the slightest, repulses me.
Author ecto-1 Posted July 4, 2010 Author Posted July 4, 2010 Well, of course people have different perception to alcohol, some become quiet, some on the contrary - become loud, annoying, uncontrollable or even aggressive, that is of course inappropriate. But as we are not talking about habitual drunkards, I'd say I am very open-minded, I never judge and never mind:laugh:, unless it really bugs me, of course. If a person is drunk but can still behaves him/herself, why should I have anything against. BUT if it comes to MY boyfriend, the guy I really care for - drinking is a serious deal breaker for me. I'd say any state of drunkenness, even the slightest, repulses me. Well, she wasn't particularly outrageous where was making a spectacle of herself....but she was kind of stumbling, and would be declared LEGALLY drunk by legal standards. She would pose in somewhat risque poses with guys in pictures, but her words were indeed slurring big time when she was talking and hangin' on guys (I had women do this with me, kind of a turn off when they just "hang on you" drunk, lol...I want a woman touching me when she's sober. LOL) I was worried about her, because she was in heels, and being drunk and being in heels, that can be dangerous. There was this one girl that brought at "straight-laced" date with her to a house party of her circle of friends. He was just nursing a beer, and she was getting flat out drunk, obnoxious, even flirting with guys in front of her date (they were in the initial stages of dating), some of the male friends of her didn't think highly of her doing this with her date right there. Of course, when she's sobered up, she's back to being civilized, even feels bad about her behavior.
alyssatranswarrior Posted July 4, 2010 Posted July 4, 2010 (edited) My problem is I want to control the drinking behaviour of a partner, because I dont do it. I want to "manage" it and be all up in their face making sure they aren't being outrageous in public or inappropriately drunk and flirty or something. Which I'm sure isnt something THEY want from me, but with drinking its sort of too bad. I need for my SO to know that in public it's not attractive to me. If she wants to get drunk around ME and lose her control around ME, I'm ALL for that and find it hilarious and cute seeing her tipsy and I've found they love when I play take-advantage and turn them on while drunken. [its pretty hot when they dont remember and you get to explain to them the next night - must have trust in those dynamics though] I just can't tolerate them being around other guys where they think its "cool" to do so even though they are exclusive. Edited July 4, 2010 by alyssatranswarrior
Gallaxia Posted July 4, 2010 Posted July 4, 2010 Not being able to control yourself is unattractive. Def a deal breaker for me. I once went on a date with a guy who I noticed was pounding away the drinks. We didn't have a table, we sat directly at the bar. Not too conducive to intimate chatter. I thought that was a bit weird for a date. Anyway, at the end of the night he said he had to run to go pick up his mother at another bar around the corner because she "could not drive". I just...wha? how? I started to wonder if that ran in the family and it's probably better not to find out. Needless to say, it was over before it began.
Diezel Posted July 4, 2010 Posted July 4, 2010 We didn't have a table, we sat directly at the bar. Not too conducive to intimate chatter. I thought that was a bit weird for a date. I read the rest, but will comment on just THIS. Sorry, but at a bar, I am NOT sitting at a table with a date. I'm not putting a table in between me and her. If I wanted to do that, I'd just make sure I was hungry and had dinner instead. Being at the bar removes the element of the table and allows for the two people to be much closer to each other. I think it's weird if a woman INSISTS on sitting at a table, which is why I always make sure to arrive first (assuming it's a first date and we both arrived in separate cars) and to be AT the bar so she can join me.
Gallaxia Posted July 4, 2010 Posted July 4, 2010 Yeah OK, good point. Maybe that's just a personal preference then. I didn't insist, I went along with it
sweetjasmine Posted July 5, 2010 Posted July 5, 2010 Can't stand lushes. Me neither, and it's not even necessarily that a lot of them are loud and annoying. It's the way that people's lives revolve around alcohol and the way that they're seemingly incapable of doing something, planning an event, or having fun without alcohol involved. It's the way that drinking alcohol is in and of itself enough entertainment for them. It's the way that the final goal is to get so trashed you don't know where you are or what you're doing. Those things irritate me. I really enjoy beer and wine, but I don't need alcohol to have a good time, and going out all the time to only drink and do nothing else is extremely boring to me. People who are into that kind of thing bore me, and even though it isn't fair, I find myself judging them and thinking less of them. Although my SO isn't like that, he used to be when he was in the military, and he's regaled me with stories about how he and his roommate would go out and drink for 7 or 8 hours straight, take a cab home, open up a beer as soon as they walked in the door, and bring it into the shower. I find that unfunny and repulsive. I come from a family where excessive drinking is frowned upon even though a glass of wine with dinner every day is perfectly acceptable, so to me, that kind of behavior sounds like borderline alcoholism or alcohol abuse. But when he tells me those stories, he has this "that was SO AWESOME" attitude that bothers me, and he sort of expects me to laugh along with him and agree that it was super cool. I find it disturbing, but I understand the nostalgia, and I don't fight with him over it because it's his past and he doesn't do that kind of thing anymore. The only thing is that a few of his friends are like that, and I don't enjoy being around them, especially when he feels obligated to keep up pace and drink like a f-ing fish to keep up with his buddy, a guy who orders a new keg for his house at least once a month and hangs out with his parents at the bar practically every weekend. Talk about unattractive. The guy is nice and fairly good-looking, but he's basically a functioning alcoholic. At this point, if I had to start over again, being a lush would be a dealbreaker. Drinking every once in a while would be okay, provided he's responsible about it. I have zero tolerance for people who black out and do stupid things and for people who get behind the wheel after drinking.
SarahRose Posted July 5, 2010 Posted July 5, 2010 Going out with a falling down drunk once may be funny or cute but try 20 years of marriage with one.
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