Little Bird Posted July 4, 2010 Posted July 4, 2010 I'm a college student, female, and I visit the Chapters/Indigo bookstore that's near my work quite often. About a month ago I was looking for Herman Hesse's, Demian and could not find it on the shelf, so this really cute guy who works there found it in their back storage room for me. Anyways, today, I was there to find a specific translation of The Count of Monte Cristo, and the girl who was helping me couldn't find it, so she said, "Oh, I'll just ask Francis to find it", as if he was the "go to guy, who knows where everything is". Francis turned out to be the adorable guy who helped me before. He found the book for me and then he asked me about my Penguin Classics bag and where I got it, but beyond that, there wasn't much of a conversation. I didn't want to keep talking, because he seemed busy, but then about 10 mins later he came around to where I was browsing to ask if I still needed help, and I said no, but then I regretted not just making something up for him to find for me. And then, by luck I ended up having him as the cashier when paying for my books, and he was very professional and nice, but I didn't get the sense he was interested. He just seemed nice, but not as if he was flirting with me or anything. My question is, what could I have done to make him interested, and was it possible that he was interested, or was he just being friendly and helpful? My impression was he was just being helpful. I'm clueless as to how to flirt with a guy, especially since I fear looking like an idiot.
TheLoneSock Posted July 4, 2010 Posted July 4, 2010 Just walk up to him, grab his crotch and start licking his ear. If he doesn't respond positively to that, he is no man.
Green Posted July 4, 2010 Posted July 4, 2010 Look if you were a man I'd tell you 1) Talk to him (FLIRT) 2) ASK HIM OUT 3) GET CONTACT INFO 4) GO IN FOR THE KISS 5) DON'T BE AFRAID OF REJECTION keep going through the STEPS until you find your special girl. But since you are a girl my advice for this specific situation is to 1) write your name and number on a piece of paper with a msg like "Call me." If he likes you he will call. Another thing you could try if you are really brave is just asking him out, but the number thing would probably work just as well. For the most part guys get excited about a girl liking them so its pretty hard to look desperate.
MrNate Posted July 4, 2010 Posted July 4, 2010 Just walk up to him, grab his crotch and start licking his ear. If he doesn't respond positively to that, he is no man. I was definitely going to post something similar. You beat me to the punch, lol.
USMCHokie Posted July 4, 2010 Posted July 4, 2010 I was definitely going to post something similar. You beat me to the punch, lol. Heh, the funny thing is, this actually worked on me about a month ago...but instead of my crotch it was my torso and arms...and she didn't start licking my ear until the third date...
Gero Posted July 4, 2010 Posted July 4, 2010 For the most part guys get excited about a girl liking them so its pretty hard to look desperate. Yep. This is true.
Tony T Posted July 4, 2010 Posted July 4, 2010 You need to get him away from other people and ask him straightforward if he'd like to go for a Coke or a drink after he gets off work...or anytime. The guy's got to be a certain way at work and he doesn't want to risk some strange chick reporting him for trying to pick her up. The ONLY way you'll ever know if he's interested is if you ask him straightaway to do something...when you're with him at a book shelf or something. Chances are good that if he's not available currently he'll get in touch with you when he is. GO FOR IT!!!
Little Bird Posted July 4, 2010 Posted July 4, 2010 (edited) You need to get him away from other people and ask him straightforward if he'd like to go for a Coke or a drink after he gets off work...or anytime. The guy's got to be a certain way at work and he doesn't want to risk some strange chick reporting him for trying to pick her up. You're right, I never thought about that-he might be thinking it would be a faux pas for him to ask out customers at work. Another thing is that, when I was wandering around today looking at books, he walked by me and made eye contact, but being shy, instead of smiling and saying hi, I immediately looked away. Also, I wasn't sure if he recognized me from a month ago, because they must get hundreds of customers visiting each day. This was all before the girl working there asked him to help me. And then when she asked him, he found the book for me; ten mins later he asked if I needed help again, and then shortly after that, I end up walking down an aisle where he's shelving without realizing it, but immediately turn around, because I don't want him to think I'm stalking him or something. I wasn't following him around, but it just ended up that I kept crossing paths with him, and the store is huge, so either it's a coincidence, or maybe he was staying near me purposely? Or maybe, I'm reading too much into it? I'm really crushing on him, but I don't want to make a move unless it's clear he's interested. If a guy is interested, shouldn't he make the first move, or is it different since he's at work? Also, when I really like someone, I get really nervous, and to overcompensate and control my nerves, I get quiet, so the whole time he was talking to me, he seemed kind of nervous and rambling, while I gave short answers. If I said more, I would have been even more flustered and rambling than him. Edited July 4, 2010 by Little Bird
pantherj Posted July 4, 2010 Posted July 4, 2010 When one person is nervous, it can sometimes cause other people to become nervous as well. I would advise you to watch your girlfriends flirt, and see what kind of behavior you might like to copy from them. The main reason you're scared is because you don't have a plan, and you are visualizing things going terribly wrong. That would make anyone (sober) nervous.
hopesndreams Posted July 4, 2010 Posted July 4, 2010 Another thing is that, when I was wandering around today looking at books, he walked by me and made eye contact, but being shy, instead of smiling and saying hi, I immediately looked away. Not good. He's not a mind reader. The safest thing to do is give him a genuine warm big smile which will make your eyes light up and when there is that all important eye contact, keep the contact, don't be the first to break it. Even shy people can manage that. We all gotta start somewhere. 1
Diezel Posted July 4, 2010 Posted July 4, 2010 You're right, I never thought about that-he might be thinking it would be a faux pas for him to ask out customers at work. He works at a bookstore, he's not your financial advisor, he's not your realtor, he's not anything too important that he wouldn't be able to ask you out in front of customers. Just give him your phone number.
Little Bird Posted July 4, 2010 Posted July 4, 2010 Another thing is that, when I was wandering around today looking at books, he walked by me and made eye contact, but being shy, instead of smiling and saying hi, I immediately looked away. Not good. He's not a mind reader. The safest thing to do is give him a genuine warm big smile which will make your eyes light up and when there is that all important eye contact, keep the contact, don't be the first to break it. Even shy people can manage that. We all gotta start somewhere. I wish I did everything differently. I was walking around looking at books, and when I looked up he was looking at me and smiling, but I just looked away. It was just a reflex, but I must have looked like such a jerk.
Serenitynow Posted July 4, 2010 Posted July 4, 2010 Another female asking how do I play games, so that I can make him ask me out because I wont dare put myself out for rejection, thats the mans job so I can stay safe in my shell. .
Curious-One Posted July 4, 2010 Posted July 4, 2010 Very good chance that he was just doing his job. I worked in retail and we had to greet customers and ask if they needed help (multiple times sometimes) and we also had to be very polite to everyone Also you might wanna know that if he is interested it will be harder for him to ask you out because he is at work, he might lose his job if his boss finds out he is asking customers out. As far as flirting, look him in the eyes, smile, play with your hair, and laugh at his jokes. Try to keep the conversation going... ask him if he likes working there, is he the go to guy since he finds everything, blah blah blah ...
Curious-One Posted July 4, 2010 Posted July 4, 2010 He works at a bookstore, he's not your financial advisor, he's not your realtor, he's not anything too important that he wouldn't be able to ask you out in front of customers. Just give him your phone number. Yes but that bookstore still pays for his car, phone , insurance bill atleast. Not sure how old he is but you might add rent, electric, gas etc etc ... I worked in best buy and i didnt want to risk losing my job over a potential girl... not when i could go out when not working and pick up girls without risking anything ... does this make sense ??
Diezel Posted July 4, 2010 Posted July 4, 2010 Yes but that bookstore still pays for his car, phone , insurance bill atleast. Not sure how old he is but you might add rent, electric, gas etc etc ... I worked in best buy and i didnt want to risk losing my job over a potential girl... not when i could go out when not working and pick up girls without risking anything ... does this make sense ?? He's going to lose his job for her handing over her phone number to him? Are you kidding me?
Little Bird Posted July 4, 2010 Posted July 4, 2010 (edited) Another female asking how do I play games, so that I can make him ask me out because I wont dare put myself out for rejection, thats the mans job so I can stay safe in my shell.I'm not looking to play games, I just need help overcoming my nerves and shyness to talk to the guy with out getting tongue-tied or letting the conversation die from my one word answers. The other thing we need to know, but we never are told in threads of this nature, is what does the OP look like, and what does the "love object" look like? OP could be the homeliest bookworm on earth who is infatuated with someone who might be VERY good looking. For all we know.It's the hardest thing to really objectively describe my appearance. To put it simply, I'm Asian, 105-110 lbs, 5'4, my hair is just above my shoulders, I was wearing a black short sleeved dress that day with boots, and I guess I'm average to slightly above average looking, but I'm not smoking hot, if that's what you're wondering. The "love object" is blond, slightly taller than me, average build, and cute in an 'awe shucks', earnest kind of way. He's just cute. Very good chance that he was just doing his job. I worked in retail and we had to greet customers and ask if they needed help (multiple times sometimes) and we also had to be very polite to everyone Also you might wanna know that if he is interested it will be harder for him to ask you out because he is at work, he might lose his job if his boss finds out he is asking customers out. That's why I was ambivalent about how to read the guy. I work in customer service too, and often when I'm just doing my job, being nice and friendly, some customers take it the wrong way, so I don't want to push things if that's what's happening here. Edited July 4, 2010 by Little Bird
Little Bird Posted July 5, 2010 Posted July 5, 2010 I think what I need help on is how to not let my nerves get the better of me. It's really hard when I'm really attracted to someone- I get all nervous and hot, and I can barely talk let alone carry a conversation. When he was talking to me, he was doing most of the talking, and I was so nervous I couldn't say much, so the conversation just abruptly ended. He was asking me where I got my bag, and how he kept seeing people with t-shirts with the same logo on my bag, and I just told him I got it from ebay, but that he could probably buy it from the company's website, and then he just ended it with a compliment about my bag and waved off and left, but then came back a little later to check up on me, but I just said I was just browsing. I get so flustered and paralyzed in these situations, that I avoid the person of interest, even though I really don't want to. Inside I want to, but then my natural reflex is to avoid. Now it's too late-I don't want to go back there too soon, because it would be too weird-he might think I'm stalking him or something.
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