jond77 Posted July 4, 2010 Posted July 4, 2010 Feeling really bad. All my friends are in relationships or are away travelling. Don't know what to do. She was my best friend and I know she is out having fun. In fact she is living the dream (work travel interstate and overseas this month, plus a pay rise) I feel so lonely I really don't know where to start..
Author jond77 Posted July 4, 2010 Author Posted July 4, 2010 Feeling really bad. All my friends are in relationships or are away travelling. Don't know what to do. She was my best friend and I know she is out having fun. In fact she is living the dream (work travel interstate and overseas this month, plus a pay rise) I feel so lonely I really don't know where to start.. I am in Melbourne Australia, and I spent all day In bed. I tried to get up but I could find nothing to do. It is hard, its not just the break up, its the lack of direction and purpose I feel in my life now
Thierro Posted July 4, 2010 Posted July 4, 2010 A journey of 1000 miles begins with a single step. What is it that you want? What are your goals in life? How do you want to see yourself in the future? What do you want to accomplish between now and 5 years? You can make the choice to stay in bed, or do something about your life. Do some sports at home or in a gym; endorphins will kick in and you will be happier. Force yourself in doing things even though you don't feel like it.
ahashakeheartbreak Posted July 5, 2010 Posted July 5, 2010 So what if your friends are in relationships? Who cares what that girl is doing? YOU need to think and care about YOU right now. Yeah, it's hard. But sitting in bed will do nothing. Steer your thoughts to other things, think about your goals. Do some things you love, even if it's simply read a book. Quit thinking about people who have left you. They don't deserve your thoughts anymore. And about your friends, well, the grass isn't always greener on the otherside, ya know? Take care.
Author jond77 Posted July 5, 2010 Author Posted July 5, 2010 So what if your friends are in relationships? Who cares what that girl is doing? YOU need to think and care about YOU right now. Yeah, it's hard. But sitting in bed will do nothing. Steer your thoughts to other things, think about your goals. Do some things you love, even if it's simply read a book. Quit thinking about people who have left you. They don't deserve your thoughts anymore. And about your friends, well, the grass isn't always greener on the otherside, ya know? Take care. No I don't care that they are in relationships, I just mean I am finding it difficult to socialise with them. I hear what you are saying, It is just proving hard, but I expected as such. Thanks guys!
cleveraccountname Posted July 5, 2010 Posted July 5, 2010 As for the finding purpose thing - it's crucial, absolutely crucial. No matter what you want (getting her back, never seeing her again or whatever it is) you still have to find a purpose, a goal, a direction. The worst part of a breakup is realising that you have to restructure your view of the future, one thing has changed and therefore everything has changed. If you don't want her back: find a purpose, boost your self-esteem, become your own person. If you do want her back: Same deal, buddy! And when she's all attracted to your new-found purpose and confidence and the fact that you don't need her, you will be able to make an informed decision, with a clear head.
Author jond77 Posted July 5, 2010 Author Posted July 5, 2010 I hear ya! Thats what I am trying to do. I think it might be something to do with writing and travelling. Ha big dream. Oh well. I just need to get confident.
ahashakeheartbreak Posted July 6, 2010 Posted July 6, 2010 Yeah, I think you do care, since you typed about it...haha. I mean, i know how it is! Hanging out with people with bf/gf's is a killer when you are going through a break-up. Esp when they are the type of people who talk about their bf/gf ALL the time, which is hard on you... Just know everyone on here is only trying to listen and help, and everyone on here has been there! So just listen and take heart. When it gets really tough, this sites always here if you need to vent. Good luck bud! (: You'll be just fine, and all the better for it eventually.
Author jond77 Posted July 6, 2010 Author Posted July 6, 2010 Thanks for the advice. Guess I am impatient I know I wont be better over night. I should cut myself some slack.
rager Posted July 6, 2010 Posted July 6, 2010 3 days after my recent break up, I sat down and wrote out some personal goals. One of them was to take time to enjoy being single. I'm allowing myself 3-4 months of just being single. If the right girl does come a long, that may change - but this time around I just want to enjoy my own space for a bit. I'm in a similar situation to you, all of my friends are in relationships mostly with kids. So I know how that feels, but dont let it pressure you into having to find that right girl quckly again. I also suffer from Winter blues, strained my hamstring while running and some of my best mates were overseas during my break up period. It was tough, but I got past it and now I'm jogging again and catching up with friends I haven't spoken with for awhile. Just get yuorself out of your comfort zone and enjoy the experience.
Author jond77 Posted July 6, 2010 Author Posted July 6, 2010 Yes thats the ting. This winter has been very bleak in old Melbourne. Not a good time to break up. I do need to get out and do something, just trying to work out what. The friends in relationships is interesting. I have always found it difficult to organise social activities so without a partner I am finding it hard to initiate catch ups or anything. I think maybe those social groups are the go
Author jond77 Posted July 6, 2010 Author Posted July 6, 2010 So tomorrow my plan is to: 1. Pay off some of my debt 2. Plan my performance review for work 3. Go to my counsellors appointment 4. Go to the gym 5. Go to an info session on teaching in the UK (I m a teacher so I am thinking of putting it to use and doing some travel) And try not to think about what she is doing! Ill let you know how I go tomorrow night
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