Coco_chanel Posted July 4, 2010 Posted July 4, 2010 Okay so I have been 'seeing' this guy for around 4-5 months, we were both at university together and therefore I saw him alot of the time because he was living 5 mins away from me and we spoke everyday, however he is older than me and although we are both on our summer break, he is now graduating. We don't live that far (a couple of hours) but already I'm starting to doubt what we have. We are not official boyfriend and girlfriend although we are exclusive, and maybe this is my problem. At uni this wasn't an issue as we frequently saw eachother etc but now I am starting to think for this to work I need more from him, is just being exclusive reassurance for him that obv I'm with nobody else whilst not actually committing to me and having the best of both worlds? I don't feel like one of his priorities at the moment which makes the whole thing much more apparent. I'm not a clingy girl but I can't be bothered with half hearted relationships that end badly and I already know hes set to go travelling within around 6 months, am i wasting my time or am I just thinking too much into this? My friends keep telling me not to bother and go out of my way for him, im just wasting time effort and money, but I'm not so sure. I spoke to him about this last night over the phone and he said to me he doesn't want to rush in to something for it not to work out and that he would rather see if the distance can work beforehand, which seems very reasonable. But come on 2 hours, probably much less (around 1 hr and a half on the trains) isn't really that far, I am going to visit him tomorrow for a couple of nights and thats how long its taking me and I don't even see it as an effort. Is he being reasonable and do i need to just stop overthinking everything or are we casually but exclusively seeing eachother because thats just how he likes it, will it ever be more? Is he just simply not ready for a committment in his life? I dont ever feel like hes goes slightly out of his way for me although when we hang out we do the usual dinner, cinema, night at his, ive met his parents but not his friends from home and he hasnt met mine and says he is scared to. Also i wouldn't suggest him coming to mine as he wouldn't be able to stay. Am i expecting too much too soon? In need for advice, as I said my friends think im wasting my time and are seriously biased. Sorry for the essay! xx
stellaluna Posted July 4, 2010 Posted July 4, 2010 I spoke to him about this last night over the phone and he said to me he doesn't want to rush in to something for it not to work out and that he would rather see if the distance can work beforehand, which seems very reasonable. But come on 2 hours, probably much less (around 1 hr and a half on the trains) isn't really that far, I am going to visit him tomorrow for a couple of nights and thats how long its taking me and I don't even see it as an effort. Yeah, but he sees it as an effort right? Thats all that should matter to you. Go and visit him, most of us guys would say fine because we are going to get laid. Its not far to you, but it seems to be for him. Don't put an effort into this arrangement anymore hun. He's into it when youre 5 minutes away, and when youre into traveling to see him but not if he has to make the effort.
Diezel Posted July 4, 2010 Posted July 4, 2010 We are not official boyfriend and girlfriend although we are exclusive, and maybe this is my problem. Lolwut? Exclusive but not boyfriend and girlfriend? That's like saying you are going to eat a cheeseburger but HOLD THE CHEESE. But come on 2 hours, probably much less (around 1 hr and a half on the trains) isn't really that far, I am going to visit him tomorrow for a couple of nights and thats how long its taking me and I don't even see it as an effort. To YOU 2 hours isn't that far, but it doesn't mean that's the case for him. Don't think for a second that because things are a certain way for YOU, it's the exact same for HIM. Doesn't work that way.
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