Green Posted July 7, 2010 Posted July 7, 2010 That's great that you're happy, but 2-3 years is still very much the honeymoon period. It doesn't really prove your relationship superiority. Once you've been living with some one over a year I would hardly call that the honey moon period. Plus my coment was aimed at a specific personal attack. You know. I don't believe that at all. I think you have some personal insecurities on aging. And I am not judging you negatively for that, but I think your persona feelings on what aging means for men AND women is what makes you want to hold onto certain beliefs. After all, what person wants to think they become less important to the world for getting older. It's much easier to live in the cacoon that you as a man are industructble. That you can live out your years into old age as if you were the young important pup of yester-years. And because society is dominated largely by men in powerful positions that have ruled over advertising for decades, they sell you the exact message, no matter how untrue, that you want to hear. That you as a man never depreciate in value or importance. That you can continue to date women who are teenagers and that this is what it means to live life to the fullest. But I don't really think you totally buy into it. Because whenever this topic comes up, you are quick to becry how it's okay for men to date teenagers under bs life philophies like "live life to the fullest!" Just because you have a 19 year old girl on your arm, doesn't mean you are living life to the fullest. You seem to becry how unimportant age is while at the same time making it very important in regards to the woman's age. It's fine. I find alot of men are more insecure about aging and getting older then women are. Women seem to accept and adapt that they get older. Some men seem to want to hold onto the belief that they don't even though they know they do. If your a grown adult man that care relate to a teen girl, even if she is mature for her age, you are not mature for your age and you are not a healthy options for any woman. Teenager or not. I'm sorry Green, but you have no supporting argument other then crying "I don't care what you think!" I think its far more insecure to go around putting people down and calling them names. What I'm saying is take a look at yourself and the other people who engage in this type of behavior of name calling and that is where the insecurity lies.
kiss_andmakeup Posted July 7, 2010 Posted July 7, 2010 I'm going to ignore the other posts and just focus on the OP...the possibility of success here is 100% dependent on the maturity of this girl. The majority of 19 year olds are not going to be on a similar mental or emotional plane as a 27 year old. But note that I said majority, not all. I met my boyfriend when I was 20 and he was 31. That's a bigger gap than the one you've proposed, and while I'm willing to admit that we're in the (perhaps vast) minority, our relationship is a quality one built on love and respect. So I find the posts crying "pedophile" and "pervert" to be a little insulting on behalf of my relationship. If you can gauge that her mental maturity is beyond her years, by all means, pursue. Very mature 18-22 year olds are extremely rare, but they do exist.
Green Posted July 7, 2010 Posted July 7, 2010 I'm going to ignore the other posts and just focus on the OP...the possibility of success here is 100% dependent on the maturity of this girl. The majority of 19 year olds are not going to be on a similar mental or emotional plane as a 27 year old. But note that I said majority, not all. I met my boyfriend when I was 20 and he was 31. That's a bigger gap than the one you've proposed, and while I'm willing to admit that we're in the (perhaps vast) minority, our relationship is a quality one built on love and respect. So I find the posts crying "pedophile" and "pervert" to be a little insulting on behalf of my relationship. If you can gauge that her mental maturity is beyond her years, by all means, pursue. Very mature 18-22 year olds are extremely rare, but they do exist. Most of the women/men on this forum crying out have never been in a relationship based on love and respect. They are bitter about a number of things and project onto other people.
USMCHokie Posted July 7, 2010 Posted July 7, 2010 I'm going to ignore the other posts and just focus on the OP...the possibility of success here is 100% dependent on the maturity of this girl. The majority of 19 year olds are not going to be on a similar mental or emotional plane as a 27 year old. But note that I said majority, not all. I met my boyfriend when I was 20 and he was 31. That's a bigger gap than the one you've proposed, and while I'm willing to admit that we're in the (perhaps vast) minority, our relationship is a quality one built on love and respect. So I find the posts crying "pedophile" and "pervert" to be a little insulting on behalf of my relationship. If you can gauge that her mental maturity is beyond her years, by all means, pursue. Very mature 18-22 year olds are extremely rare, but they do exist. I'd have to disagree here. And also, what makes a 18-21 year old girl "very mature"? We throw around the word mature all the time, but what does it really mean that a young person is mature for their age, or even mature for someone 10 years older than them? You forget to also focus on the maturity of the guy, which is just as vital, if not moreso, than the maturity of the girl in the relationship. Perhaps the 18 year old girl in the relationship may seemingly believe that they are extremely "mature" (note that many people think they are much more mature than they really are...) and feel compatible to the older man, when in reality they are just like every other 18 year old girl. Instead, it's the older man who has the maturity of the 18 year old girl which creates the compatibility.
kiss_andmakeup Posted July 7, 2010 Posted July 7, 2010 I'd have to disagree here. And also, what makes a 18-21 year old girl "very mature"? We throw around the word mature all the time, but what does it really mean that a young person is mature for their age, or even mature for someone 10 years older than them? You forget to also focus on the maturity of the guy, which is just as vital, if not moreso, than the maturity of the girl in the relationship. Perhaps the 18 year old girl in the relationship may seemingly believe that they are extremely "mature" (note that many people think they are much more mature than they really are...) and feel compatible to the older man, when in reality they are just like every other 18 year old girl. Instead, it's the older man who has the maturity of the 18 year old girl which creates the compatibility. I tend to think that most successful May-December relationships end up meeting in the middle. For example, when my boyfriend and I met, I'd say we were both about 25 years old mentally. My wording of "100%" may have been incorrect, but I was wording it from a perspective of the OP already knowing his maturity level. Which, perhaps, he doesn't. Edit: Another point is that girls who "think" they are mature when they actually aren't will reveal themselves as such rather quickly, ESPECIALLY in a relationship setting. ;]
USMCHokie Posted July 7, 2010 Posted July 7, 2010 I tend to think that most successful May-December relationships end up meeting in the middle. For example, when my boyfriend and I met, I'd say we were both about 25 years old mentally. And I guess the lesson we should take from this is that as long as the two people are on the same level of maturity, whether it be on either extreme or right in the middle, it can work. My wording of "100%" may have been incorrect, but I was wording it from a perspective of the OP already knowing his maturity level. Which, perhaps, he doesn't. I don't think anyone really knows how mature they really are...and besides, maturity really is such an immeasurable trait... Edit: Another point is that girls who "think" they are mature when they actually aren't will reveal themselves as such rather quickly, ESPECIALLY in a relationship setting. ;] Oh, absolutely. And it will depend on the maturity of the guy to identify this and take the proper action.
kiss_andmakeup Posted July 7, 2010 Posted July 7, 2010 And I guess the lesson we should take from this is that as long as the two people are on the same level of maturity, whether it be on either extreme or right in the middle, it can work. I don't think anyone really knows how mature they really are...and besides, maturity really is such an immeasurable trait... You're correct. My over all point was, if he finds himself having to "dumb down" his conversation when interacting with this girl, he has his answer.
Green Posted July 7, 2010 Posted July 7, 2010 And I guess the lesson we should take from this is that as long as the two people are on the same level of maturity, whether it be on either extreme or right in the middle, it can work. I think the lesson YOU and OTHERS need to learn is that if two people want to be togather LET THEM.
USMCHokie Posted July 7, 2010 Posted July 7, 2010 I think the lesson YOU and OTHERS need to learn is that if two people want to be togather LET THEM. Ok. And I suppose I will regard your opinion in the same way you regard others' opinions (i.e., if they are not the same as yours, they are wrong).
Green Posted July 7, 2010 Posted July 7, 2010 Ok. And I suppose I will regard your opinion in the same way you regard others' opinions (i.e., if they are not the same as yours, they are wrong). Seriously, you shock me that you would parrot out this crap. If you fall in love with a 19 year old girl and you pass it up because you're afraid of looking like a creep then that is just the way you live your life. I don't really care. But when you start attacking people one every single level from calling them Gross/Creepy/Predator/Pedo/Imature/Broken for doing something they have every right to do... your damn right I'm going to disagree with that.
USMCHokie Posted July 7, 2010 Posted July 7, 2010 Seriously, you shock me that you would parrot out this crap. The statement wasn't necessarily aimed at this particular thread. It was more of a general statement. If you fall in love with a 19 year old girl and you pass it up because you're afraid of looking like a creep then that is just the way you live your life. I don't really care. But when you start attacking people one every single level from calling them Gross/Creepy/Predator/Pedo/Imature/Broken for doing something they have every right to do... your damn right I'm going to disagree with that. And you're right, two people, regardless of age, have every right to be together. I have never stated that it can't be done. But your views seem to infer that as long as they're hot for each other, there is nothing else to consider. I guess I just want more than someone who is just hot for me. And I don't think I ever used any of those terms besides immature, which is hardly on the same level as calling someone any of those other terms.
Jersey Shortie Posted July 7, 2010 Posted July 7, 2010 I think its far more insecure to go around putting people down and calling them names. What I'm saying is take a look at yourself and the other people who engage in this type of behavior of name calling and that is where the insecurity lies. Errr, I didn't call anyone names. I think you are insecure about your own aging and decline.
gypsy_nicky Posted July 8, 2010 Posted July 8, 2010 here you go OP, from okcupid---- http://blog.okcupid.com/index.php/2010/02/16/the-case-for-an-older-woman/ your preference or situation is perfectly normal.
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