ksg1 Posted July 4, 2010 Posted July 4, 2010 Just curious...I'm 27 years old and I've started to like a 19 year old girl.. Although,she's legal age but is that wrong or not?
USMCHokie Posted July 4, 2010 Posted July 4, 2010 It's not wrong, per se, but I'd certainly question your motives...
D-Lish Posted July 4, 2010 Posted July 4, 2010 It's not wrong. I work with a girl that's 19 and she just started dating a 30 year old guy. She looks older and he looks younger. You'll run into situations where you won't be able to relate to one another because of the age gap. It might be hard to find common ground.
SilentVoice Posted July 4, 2010 Posted July 4, 2010 Unless you do have some underlying reasons .. I see absolutely nothing wrong with it
Gero Posted July 4, 2010 Posted July 4, 2010 My mom started seeing my dad when she was 18 and he was 28. Of course they divorced 6 years later.
aerogurl87 Posted July 4, 2010 Posted July 4, 2010 So that's less than 10 years apart, I'd say your odds of lasting long term with her might be slim, but who knows. If she's legal and your not manipulating or taking advantage of her, go for it. My ex was 30 when I was 19 and we didn't run into any big problems due to age, just due the fact that he didn't do well with communicating his emotions.
USMCHokie Posted July 4, 2010 Posted July 4, 2010 So that's less than 10 years apart, I'd say your odds of lasting long term with her might be slim, but who knows. If she's legal and your not manipulating or taking advantage of her, go for it. My ex was 30 when I was 19 and we didn't run into any big problems due to age, just due the fact that he didn't do well with communicating his emotions. My opinion is that 30 year olds who go after 19 year olds generally have a host of issues/problems beyond just communication skills...
Author ksg1 Posted July 4, 2010 Author Posted July 4, 2010 haha First off I have no negative motive here,such as sex being the only thing on my mind or so. no I've developed this crush on her because I think she's nice,smart,has a good head on her shoulders,acts mature for her age..along with being cute and nice smile. Yes I admit she's cute and has a nice body. haha but I like her more for her good heart. any girl could have a smoking body but be a real negative type person which is a turn off to me.
aerogurl87 Posted July 4, 2010 Posted July 4, 2010 My opinion is that 30 year olds who go after 19 year olds generally have a host of issues/problems beyond just communication skills... Umm USMCHokie it wasn't exactly as black and white as he met me and started pursuing me. We had been friends for a few months prior to us even thinking about dating, and even then I was the one that showed interest in him first. He fell for me, and before we decided to be together, he told me he had a few reservations about dating me when I was so much younger than him. But yeah, your right he did have a few more issues than that, but that was the nail in the coffin for me.
WTRanger Posted July 4, 2010 Posted July 4, 2010 Personally, I think once the person is above 21, age gaps aren't as bad. it just depends if you are a person who likes to go out and have a drink once and a while, your girl cannot come with you. You'll see a maturity difference as she's still in High School mode, but if you can work through that I don't see why this couldn't work. The chance of it working is slim, but hey. You only live once.
D-Lish Posted July 4, 2010 Posted July 4, 2010 Personally, I think once the person is above 21, age gaps aren't as bad. it just depends if you are a person who likes to go out and have a drink once and a while, your girl cannot come with you. You'll see a maturity difference as she's still in High School mode, but if you can work through that I don't see why this couldn't work. The chance of it working is slim, but hey. You only live once. Unless you live in a place like Canada, where in some Provinces, the legal drinking age is 18. It's mostly 19, but the French are more lenient:laugh:.
Ronni_W Posted July 4, 2010 Posted July 4, 2010 ...I've developed this crush on her because I think she's nice,smart,has a good head on her shoulders,acts mature for her age..along with being cute and nice smile. That's what she offers you. What do you, realistically and honestly, offer her? Have you worked through the 'baggage' of any prior love relationships? Got stuff sorted out about your family-of-origin dynamics? Learned how to be interdependent and self-reliant? If you're not going to use relationship with a younger person to avoid your adult emotions, circumstances, issues and problems...then, go for it. But, for her sake, I'd strongly encourage you to take a second look and just make sure that there aren't any feelings of inadequacy, incompetency or neediness underlying your "crush": If you're going to take a next step, make sure that you're emotionally available, and not commitment-phobic or conflict-avoidant. She is only 19 -- she really doesn't have a clue of how adult crap works, or what it can consist of. So...be kind to, and gentle with, her. Are your only adult responsibilities and obligations.
xpaperxcutx Posted July 4, 2010 Posted July 4, 2010 Unless you live in a place like Canada, where in some Provinces, the legal drinking age is 18. It's mostly 19, but the French are more lenient:laugh:. See, I knew there was another reason to cross the border.
D-Lish Posted July 4, 2010 Posted July 4, 2010 See, I knew there was another reason to cross the border. Hey there pretty girl! For sure, Quebec has a legal age of 18:rolleyes:.
JohnnyBlaze Posted July 4, 2010 Posted July 4, 2010 SFW? You like her; does she like you? If so, go for it! There will be the occasional gap and yes, others may have a problem with it, but there'll always be problems, no matter what. At least these problems are more predictable (and thus, easier to anticipate & overcome). For sure, Quebec has a legal age of 18:rolleyes:. And how much money has Hull made on that fact?
D-Lish Posted July 4, 2010 Posted July 4, 2010 And how much money has Hull made on that fact? Millions;) It's every Canadian's right of passge when you turn 18- ROAD TRIP!! Off to Quebec you go!
aerogurl87 Posted July 4, 2010 Posted July 4, 2010 Hey there pretty girl! For sure, Quebec has a legal age of 18:rolleyes:. It's 18 in Alberta too.
MR2U Posted July 4, 2010 Posted July 4, 2010 Its doomed. For her to be attracted to you means you are probably boyish and probably emotionally underdeveloped for your age. She's still a kid, a teenager even. You are well into manhood. As she ages she will grow out of this phase of life and become more like the women your own age that you have little attraction for. But you will stay the same.
D-Lish Posted July 4, 2010 Posted July 4, 2010 It's 18 in Alberta too. Quebec was always closer for us when we were younger. After 8 beers, who cares if you don't speak french, you think you can:lmao:
Green Posted July 4, 2010 Posted July 4, 2010 My opinion is that 30 year olds who go after 19 year olds generally have a host of issues/problems beyond just communication skills... People often have the same opinion about Marines, doesn't make it true. haha First off I have no negative motive here,such as sex being the only thing on my mind or so. no I've developed this crush on her because I think she's nice,smart,has a good head on her shoulders,acts mature for her age..along with being cute and nice smile. Yes I admit she's cute and has a nice body. haha but I like her more for her good heart. any girl could have a smoking body but be a real negative type person which is a turn off to me. Look man stop trying to rationalize this. If you like her just go for it. YES people will think it is wrong... but for the most part they won't even know unless they ask for both of your ages. That's what she offers you. What do you, realistically and honestly, offer her? Have you worked through the 'baggage' of any prior love relationships? Got stuff sorted out about your family-of-origin dynamics? Learned how to be interdependent and self-reliant? If you're not going to use relationship with a younger person to avoid your adult emotions, circumstances, issues and problems...then, go for it. But, for her sake, I'd strongly encourage you to take a second look and just make sure that there aren't any feelings of inadequacy, incompetency or neediness underlying your "crush": If you're going to take a next step, make sure that you're emotionally available, and not commitment-phobic or conflict-avoidant. She is only 19 -- she really doesn't have a clue of how adult crap works, or what it can consist of. So...be kind to, and gentle with, her. Are your only adult responsibilities and obligations. I think if an 18+ girl can't protect herself from predatory men it won't matter if the guy asking her out is 22 or 42 she is in trouble. I think its offensive to give the guy the advice you give.
USMCHokie Posted July 4, 2010 Posted July 4, 2010 People often have the same opinion about Marines, doesn't make it true. Here is where you and I differ...you tend to proffer your views as fact and/or truth...I specifically stated that as my opinion based on my personal experience and knowledge...never offered it as absolute or even circumstantial truth... And there are definitely a good number of Marines who are f'in idiots who will get married to an 18 year old they met at the bar after knowing them for two weeks...it really happens...
stellaluna Posted July 4, 2010 Posted July 4, 2010 Thee only thing to be sure of in this situation is that she has gotten her period and you are losing your hair. This set up is a walking nightmare.
Green Posted July 4, 2010 Posted July 4, 2010 Here is where you and I differ...you tend to proffer your views as fact and/or truth...I specifically stated that as my opinion based on my personal experience and knowledge...never offered it as absolute or even circumstantial truth... And there are definitely a good number of Marines who are f'in idiots who will get married to an 18 year old they met at the bar after knowing them for two weeks...it really happens... Look I believe in certain things. I know them to be true. This age hang up that people have on this site is CRAZY. ATTRACTION is the only law of dating, that pluse AGE OF CONSENT laws. If you are OLD/SHORT/FAT/BALDING but have factors that make you attractive such as FAME and MONEY then you will still be able to attract women... YOUNG WOMEN if thats your desire.
USMCHokie Posted July 4, 2010 Posted July 4, 2010 Look I believe in certain things. I know them to be true. People often have that same attitude about religion... This age hang up that people have on this site is CRAZY. ATTRACTION is the only law of dating, that pluse AGE OF CONSENT laws. If you are OLD/SHORT/FAT/BALDING but have factors that make you attractive such as FAME and MONEY then you will still be able to attract women... YOUNG WOMEN if thats your desire. I don't doubt what you're saying in regard to attraction, and I agree attraction is often blind to age. However, your views here seem to be limited to just attraction. Relationships go beyond mere attraction and consider many other factors where age can have a tremendous impact. So yes, you're right, but only to a limited extent.
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