AD1980 Posted July 4, 2010 Posted July 4, 2010 Yeah if only i could get around that looks barrier..sucks for me
Knittress Posted July 4, 2010 Posted July 4, 2010 You can tell a lot about a person by how they clothe and carry themselves. (And no, I'm not really talking about 'value' or 'wealth' that the players try to project - I mean personality.) I think that matters a lot more to women than preferred facial features or fitness - not that these things are utterly unimportant. A person is going to be attracted to a mate that mirrors how they see themselves.
deux ex machina Posted July 4, 2010 Posted July 4, 2010 I recently heard about a study they did with a large group of speed-daters. Something like twenty men and twenty women. At the very end of the session they interviewed both the men and the women about their top three choices. The women all felt strongly about the men they chose, but each woman placed different men in her top three. It wasn't that the women weren't picky, but they didn't share the same criteria for an "attractive" man. With the men, it was the opposite. Each one repeatedly named the same women in their top three. That makes a lot of sense to me. A man that I find attractive might not be the same person a friend would be attracted to at all. Looks do matter, but it's subjective. The criteria that would sway me could be very different from the next woman's criteria.
that girl Posted July 4, 2010 Posted July 4, 2010 Looks matter. Every woman I have known pretty well who said looks didn't matter eventually found a man who wasn't attractive enough for her to date. I think what they mean when they say looks don't matter is a guy doesn't have to be Brad Pitt to catch their eye.
turnera Posted July 4, 2010 Posted July 4, 2010 You can tell a lot about a person by how they clothe and carry themselves. (And no, I'm not really talking about 'value' or 'wealth' that the players try to project - I mean personality.) I think that matters a lot more to women than preferred facial features or fitness - not that these things are utterly unimportant. A person is going to be attracted to a mate that mirrors how they see themselves.Very true. Also this: Looks will get you in the door, but personality keeps you in the house... This is more what I was trying to say.
turnera Posted July 4, 2010 Posted July 4, 2010 Looks matter. Every woman I have known pretty well who said looks didn't matter eventually found a man who wasn't attractive enough for her to date. I think what they mean when they say looks don't matter is a guy doesn't have to be Brad Pitt to catch their eye. Exactly. Also what I meant.
Diezel Posted July 4, 2010 Posted July 4, 2010 I think she wasn't being entirely truthful. It's true that for *some* women, looks are not a top priority but there are plenty of extremely shallow females to be found. Even these *some* women would have to admit, that although it's NOT a TOP priority, it still is a priority regardless of how far down the list it goes.
K2000kidd Posted July 4, 2010 Posted July 4, 2010 I have to agree to an extent In my personal experience though I had far more options after losing 81 lbs than i did when i was 225, my face slimmed way out and i looked like a completely different person So looks do matter but you don't have to look like Johnny Depp to score a trophy girl LOL, Now i'm being shallow
theBrokenMuse Posted July 4, 2010 Posted July 4, 2010 Even these *some* women would have to admit, that although it's NOT a TOP priority, it still is a priority regardless of how far down the list it goes. I wasn't trying to imply that some women had no standards at all. I consider myself to be much more cerebral than visual but would I be able to be romantically involved with a hideously disfigured person or the like? Probably not. Everyone has limits to what they can tolerate.
Diezel Posted July 4, 2010 Posted July 4, 2010 I wasn't trying to imply that some women had no standards at all. I consider myself to be much more cerebral than visual but would I be able to be romantically involved with a hideously disfigured person or the like? Probably not. Everyone has limits to what they can tolerate. We are agreeing. Down boy/girl/it.
theBrokenMuse Posted July 4, 2010 Posted July 4, 2010 Down boy/girl/it. If you consider that an 'attack' on your position (as indicated by the down boy comment) you may wish to get a bit thicker skin. I was simply clarifying.
SteveC80 Posted July 4, 2010 Posted July 4, 2010 Only people who say looks dont matter at all are unattractive people who cant get a good looking partner and has limited options Yet this person wants you to believe theer not as shallow as the rest of us when in reality if they could they would be they just dont have that option
Woggle Posted July 4, 2010 Posted July 4, 2010 Good looking serial killers have their share of female admirers. What does that tell you?
theBrokenMuse Posted July 4, 2010 Posted July 4, 2010 Good looking serial killers have their share of female admirers. What does that tell you? That some folks have serious emotional problems?
theBrokenMuse Posted July 4, 2010 Posted July 4, 2010 Yet this person wants you to believe theer not as shallow as the rest of us when in reality if they could they would be they just dont have that option So you are actually going to imply that ALL good looking people have the depth of a puddle... yikes. I don't think blanket statements such as this does justice for anyone.
Ruby Slippers Posted July 4, 2010 Posted July 4, 2010 Yes, looks matter. When it comes to just sex, yes, the more in shape and attractive the guy, the easier it is to be aroused and into it (provided he is also a good lover). But rarely have I wanted just sex. 99% of the time, I am looking for real love and long-term commitment. So then I am considering much more than just his looks. For a relationship, I'd rather have a good-looking but not sex bomb looking guy with intelligence, compassion, and other attractive interior qualities, than a hot piece of azz with no soul, of course. But you always want the best you can get in all areas -- the more intelligent, compassionate, loving, fun, and attractive, the better. I've had relationships with guys ranging from average in looks to above average, and the general pattern is that better-looking guys are more exciting, fun, and better in bed, but they are also more likely to resist long-term commitment. I think it's pretty much a parallel situation to men's -- have meaningless fun with the hotties, and get serious with someone who brings a good blend of attractive physical and interior qualities to the table.
paddington bear Posted July 4, 2010 Posted July 4, 2010 Looks do matter. I wish they didn't, but as mentioned already it is subjective. In terms of dating they matter most in internet dating as you only have the picture to go on really and in a shallow way I've made assumptions on their personalities from their looks, haircut and clothes. However...there have been many occassions where I've met someone out in the real world, they have not made an impact in terms of their handsomeness, but what they talk about, their sense of humour and general personality suddenly makes them the best looking guy in the room. Also, yes looks in a man matter in terms of how confident a girl is. You can see some guy, think he is stunning look him, admire that, but know or think that you don't stand a chance. Strangely, I've found recently that many guys have thought the same about me 'I guess someone like you of course has a boyfriend' has been said a few times to me, so it works both ways. I watched a documentary recently about the importance of father's in their children's lives and it turns out that women who had a good relationship with their dad, ended up with men that had the same facial structure as their father. So perhaps even on that subliminal level, looks are important, but not whether you are good looking or not, but whether you have familial bone structure.
tami-chan Posted July 5, 2010 Posted July 5, 2010 I met this girl the other day, and she said to me that looks don't matter to woman. Is that true, what if the guy was really ugly and he didn't have a sense of style. So ugly and no style? Looks absolutely matter and perfect teeth!
Engadget Posted July 5, 2010 Posted July 5, 2010 Looks absolutely matter and perfect teeth! Who the hell has perfect teeth? Also the over the top teeth whitening craze is disturbing to me.
ecto-1 Posted July 5, 2010 Posted July 5, 2010 I care about being physically attracted to a guy. He could have all the money and stability in the world, he isn't going to get laid based on how much money he makes. Then how do you explain Hugh Heffner having his way with all those Playboy models and the occasional "Hef's Girl"?
BubbleFreak Posted July 5, 2010 Posted July 5, 2010 Yes, definitely, looks matter to me 100% for initial attraction (along with a few other criteria that also matter 100%). Ofcourse I'm in my early 20s with the option to be choosey. If I was in a different stage in life or under different circumstances I might think differently. Now, saying that looks matter so much to me initially (my own definition of what is attractive), I am already in a long term relationship so if my boyfriend got hit by a truck and became permanently disfigured it would not matter to me anymore because I already love him for who he is (and not just his sexy man body).
crimsonmike Posted July 5, 2010 Posted July 5, 2010 Everyone is different. I'm sure there are plenty of women who looks are the #1 criteria for. However, in my experience, most women care far less about looks than men, especially when they get a little older or have been mistreated. Somewhere in late 20's. I think the poster who was talking about marrige material is onto something. I have a date with a woman tomorrow night that, I have no doubt, could find another date more attractive than I am by lunch today. That said, physical appearance is a factor for everyone. To say otherwise is being naive. Difference is for most men and some women it's #1 on the list where many women may have it at 3 or 4.
ecto-1 Posted July 5, 2010 Posted July 5, 2010 With me , personally, being an average looking Joe...It doesn't take much for me to be PHYSICALLY attracted to a woman. I've actually have been physically attracted to somewhat overweight (few extra pounds) to said women...even though some men wouldn't touch such a woman, granted she's has the weight that's proportionate. Or just cute plain janes. So you'd be suprised, physically, what kind of women I have FOUND attractive....while some men wouldn't even touch the women I'm interested (just more for me, lol) So, thus I'm not as choosey, but you'd be suprised how some even of the chunky ladies wouldn't date me, because they weren't physically attracted to me, but their not so great looking appearance is wanting a guy with washboard abs....go figure <shrug>
ecto-1 Posted July 5, 2010 Posted July 5, 2010 Everyone is different. I'm sure there are plenty of women who looks are the #1 criteria for. However, in my experience, most women care far less about looks than men, especially when they get a little older or have been mistreated. . So true...I find this usually with a woman in her 30's or late 30's, they've been married, cheated on or abused by their boyfriend/husbands, have a couple of kids, and then realize that they'll start considering dating that shorter guy that's not quite 6 feet tall, which USED to be her dating criteria (among other shallow criteria) So she'll start giving the shorter , balding, average Joes a shot after so many dates with good looking hunks who have a harem and her just being a #. They are humbled by their past mistreatments and actually try to redeem themselves by dating the guys they overlooked or never gave a chance to
tami-chan Posted July 5, 2010 Posted July 5, 2010 Who the hell has perfect teeth? Also the over the top teeth whitening craze is disturbing to me. Okay fine, not "perfect teeth"...how about excellent, beautiful teeth? I can ask for that because I have beautiful teeth ,...just saying!
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