sloudrou Posted July 3, 2010 Posted July 3, 2010 How long does it take to care enough about dating to attempt it after being burned? I was in a situation that may or may not have been unrequited love for longer than I care to remember. Basically I was dumb enough to fall for a co-worker who was beautiful, charming (at least when it suited her) and not dating anybody else (or at least showed up without a partner at work functions etc). At times she seemed interested in me, but then would go as cold as ice. Last week I decided I'd had enough, and decided to minimise contact with her as much as was practical in our situation. The thing is, right now I don't feel any particular longing to be with ANYONE. I probably could if I made the effort (I passed up two other opportunities while I was smitten with this one), but right now I just don't particularly care to. I'm tired of the head games, tired of being expected to pretend to be someone/something I'm not, tired of the flakiness that goes with dating in this city. I was invited to a function for another company on Friday and got talking to another woman there. She was attractive and seemed nice enough during the time I was there, but right now I just don't care to get involved with anyone. I've just been spending time watching the World Cup, studying Japanese for my trip overseas in August, and just generally not caring.
SoccerPlaya Posted July 3, 2010 Posted July 3, 2010 "Think about doing something else and just having a good time on your own. There is no imperative to date anyone or even think about dating anyone. Life expectancies are at an all time high, so there will be plenty of time for that later." Sound familiar? I'm with ya. My motivation right now is close to zero. I keep telling myself there is no quick fix - things like this take time.
Author sloudrou Posted July 3, 2010 Author Posted July 3, 2010 "Think about doing something else and just having a good time on your own. There is no imperative to date anyone or even think about dating anyone. Life expectancies are at an all time high, so there will be plenty of time for that later." Sound familiar? I'm with ya. My motivation right now is close to zero. I keep telling myself there is no quick fix - things like this take time. he he he. You're right of course. Sometimes it doesn't hurt to be reminded.
Gero Posted July 3, 2010 Posted July 3, 2010 It depends on the person. Over my ten years of not being in a relationship, I went on a handful of dates and asked dozens of women out and was rejected. Sometimes I would go a year without actively seeking a date and other times I would jump right back in and keep trying. You'll know when you are ready again.
SoccerPlaya Posted July 4, 2010 Posted July 4, 2010 (edited) I know It's so much harder to think clearly when it's your own life. Looking back over the years and thinking about meeting the people I actually *liked*...it would always happen when I wasn't looking for someone. There's something so nice and organic about meeting someone special when you don't expect it. Stay strong Edited July 4, 2010 by SoccerPlaya
Lucky555 Posted July 5, 2010 Posted July 5, 2010 i think its a good thing to not care for awhile. I think its when you stop caring another person to meet enters your life. I think you should not limit yourself from places and socializing with friends. Maybe just don't think about meeting someone and think more about living your life to its full potential. Think about how much stress you are relieving yourself of. Of course always be yourself and hopefully one day you will find someone who enters your life to give you a reason to care This is how i think. I don't see the point in stressing over not caring because until you meet someone who has some qualities you are looking for you may not want to care! haha. You know if someone is worth your time to get to know through their body language, commonality, and chemistry. I think maybe you should keep an open mind and live the life you are happy leading. This will show through when you meet others. good luck.
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