supersub Posted July 3, 2010 Posted July 3, 2010 So here I am supposedly moving on after a failed relationship and a failed reconnect. I have a 4 day weekend for July 4th and thus far have been busy surrounded by friends. Done all the right things haven't I? There are girls showing interest in me, but no one is making a proper move for me, and are any of them even girlfriend material? Which brings me to right now. I get home to an empty house. I realize I miss the connection that having a girlfriend means. I break down. Flooding with tears. What on earth is this? Is anyone else feeling this on this festive of weekends? I don't miss her, I just miss the connection that two people can have. All my friends are married or dating. This can't be happening, its not fair. I've done my time. Enough is enough. I enjoy my own company most of the time. Will someone please explain this bull****!?
AlwaysConflicted Posted July 3, 2010 Posted July 3, 2010 You miss the companionship which makes you a human being. That's a good thing. I'm getting over a failed relationship as well and I too am lonely. I'm turning 31 in October. I paid my dues and then some. You'll find another companion if that's what you want. Any holiday is going to make you wish you had a partner to share it with. The 4th is no exception. I barely have any single friends as well, but you know what? It doesn't matter. We all move at our own pace. You're just having a "moment". Take a deep breath. You'll be okay. I may not know you personally, but I know that you've helped me a lot with my recent breakup. Thanks for being there. Before you know it, it will be July 5th. There is light just around the corner.
spriggig Posted July 4, 2010 Posted July 4, 2010 Maybe there are some lingering feelings of guilt that you've avoided confronting? I've only seen a few of your posts, but the ones I've seen seem over-the-top positive--which is fine, if that's how you really feel. The higher you stoke the roller coaster on the up side, the farther it has to fall on the down side. The key is to be honest with yourself. Take credit where it is due in how you handled your side of the relationship, but also look deeply at where you may have failed. Don't avoid the guilt you may find there, go through it without defending yourself and then forgive yourself. Once you know you've forgiven yourself, don't re-visit it. Let it go. One of the problems I ran up against was that I only had my half of the story. I didn't know what to believe of what she told me and then she just stopped talking to me altogether. So, re-visiting the past was futile, because each time I did, I only had speculation to fill in her side of the story. If I was mad at her at the time, I would fill in with the worst stuff. Finally, I realized I would never know the truth or anything like it and I had to be satisfied with forgiving myself for the half I knew--my half--and just letting go of what I could never know. I had to stop saying to myself "what if?"
Author supersub Posted July 4, 2010 Author Posted July 4, 2010 Thanks for your thoughts both of you. Yes it has been a roller coaster, and I guess I just came down the other side. I got a good nights sleep last night, which makes me feel better. I don't feel any guilt, I just miss the connection of someone being in my life. Thanks again. Sup
sandiego Posted July 5, 2010 Posted July 5, 2010 I'm with you supersub. It's been almost 10 months since my relationship fell apart. I have good days, and then those days where the tears run like rivers. The holidays are tough...many of my friends are married too. Hang in there and know you are most definitely not alone! SD
Norville_Rogers Posted July 5, 2010 Posted July 5, 2010 Weekends are bad Holidays are worse And Holiday weekends mean death to me.
Star Gazer Posted July 5, 2010 Posted July 5, 2010 I've had almost the opposite experience. Looking back, I felt alone INSIDE my relationship for a number of reasons. He was all I had, and I was constantly in fear that he would die and I'd be left with nothing. It was an unhealthy dependency I had on him. Now, outside my relationship, after reconnecting with so many people and things that I had let go of during my relationship, I feel surrounded by love even as I sit here alone typing this. No matter what happens (reconciliation or not), I know I'll be in a better relationship having gone through this.
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