Intimate with a coworker.. Like him now

[rose45]

Well i have been at this company for a few years..i always thought this one guy was good looking and had a good personality as well..just genuinly friendly it seems and very good at work--remains focused and motivated..he is pretty popular in the office as well..does get attention and i am very quiet..i socialize here and there but mostly just shy.

 

I have been kind of down lately at work, not looking good more than usual..different problems going on..he actually approached me casually last week and asked are u ok? and i said yea and he was like are you sure, you promise? and i didn't really say anything to that..he then approached me later and like sat on the opposite end of me and said i am more quiet than usual and he knows something is wrong and he offered to take me out for a drink to talk..and i said maybe..and he said he would ask again before leaving..it turns out a coworkers offered him baseball tickets though which of course he should go to and he did..no hard feelings there since i didn't even completely agree anyway.

 

We went out the other night with coworkers..for some reason i had it in my head where i wanted to get to be alone with him..i think some part of me always had a little crush on him but most times at work i know that i look bad b/c i don't spend alot of time getting ready in the morning.

 

The night we were going out i came to work i think looking pretty so i would be a little more confident etc...And for some reason I did have it in my head that i wanted to kiss him tonight and spend time with him...i really didn't think it would happen though or if he was even attracted to me...towards the end of the evening he approached me and said something and then said do i want to do a shot and i said sure..so we wind up at the bar by ourselves..it looked like most of the coworkers left..it seems like he was attracted to me..he placed his hand on my back once, leaned in closer when i couldnt hear what he was saying where he was pretty close to my mouth..He was talking about going home to have another drink rather than be at the bar til closing and i casually said i would go with u and join you..which is pretty brazen i guess..i said it once or twice and he said you are welcome to come if you want. I was at his place once before as a group and of course nothing happened.

 

When we left i didn't think it was going to happen but he got a cab and opened the door for me and we both got in and headed to his place. I just felt comfortable with him i guess..we did wind up making out at his place..the kisses seemed more sensual and soft..but before anything happened we were laying down together and he said my name and like what am i doing here in a casual/nice way..and i said do you want me to go and he said no if i didn't want you here i wouldn't have invited you. And i said i just wanted to spend time with you. I don't know who kissed who first but i really enjoyed it..I also was not very drunk or anything..i might have been buzzed but i drank a few glasses of water as well so i think i was more relaxed etc. but i wasn't helpless

Things got somewhat physical but nothing where i need to have a test done or anything..my clothes stayed on;his didn't for the most part.. i remained strong with my will power not to sleep with him even though i wanted to.

I feel like i was too emotional though and maybe that took a lot of points away from me?....maybe i should have had more fun with the situation and joked more...i felt like i blew it with me saying i just wanted to spend time with u, when we kissed i put my emotions in it..i touched his face while we kissed, kissed his neck. Is that too much or just a kissing style?....

 

When we were laying on the bed and i sat up to look at him he was being sweet..he kept playing with my hair and pushing it out of my face and tucked it behind my ear..he did say that he was concerned about me the past few days and i said well ur the only one..noone else notices and he said maybe they aren't looking...i also said to him well i guess you are attracted to me. I also moined that tiny slightly bit like that feels good when we kissed..he joked later saying good for me with my willpower lol..i was also pretty guarded not letting him do certain things like take my top off etc..and was nervous as well i guess which he pointed out but not in a mean way. He just said you are nervous

 

We spoke about how the next day was going to be and he said it is going to be weird and he almost feels bad but he gets the sense i wanted to come here tonight too and it wasn't just him and i agreed..and he said but i will come in, in the morning and say what i always say to you and you will say the same. When laying down he did kissed my forehead once, he did tell me i am very pretty.

 

I think i hinted at wanting to hang out again or talk etc but i don't think he was completely open like ok here is my number lets hang out again soon which kind of disappointed me. I did ask if he had wanted to sleep with me tonight and he said he would have done whatever i wanted to do. He said it wasn't like a master plan to get me here though and wanted me to know that. He did try to push things along when we were making out but not in this aggressive type way. I told him i did want to sleep with him as well.

 

The next day we came in like normal..he said the things he usually said to me..later on he asked if we were cool and i said yea..when i left i said goodnight to him and the person he shares the room with but as walking by we locked eyes for that second.

 

i also hate how i forgot to shave this morning b/c i was tired and at one point we kind of ran into each other and he was behind me walking and later on i noticed i missed a big spot on the back of my leg and i almost freaked out thinking maybe he saw that..my friend said what are the chances he is noticing hair on your legs. I also have vericose veins.

 

Regardless..was i too emotional with the things i said and did? i kind of wish i can hang out with him again but it doesn't look like that is going to happen..i just wanted to spend more time with him regardless of where it led...

Now i think i have a bigger crush on him and keep thinking about kissing him again..that night would have been perfect for us to exchange numbers but it didn't happen and i guess this was just a one time thing.

[rose45]

bump..lot of people posting tonight lol..would appreciate feedback.

[markRocket]

sounds like this guy was just taking advantage of you. you said you looked a little tired, like you were having a bad week and such, and he probably picked up on that. put that together with how you say you're shy- that's a target some guys will go for. this guy doesn't sound like a creep who's going to force himself on you anytime soon, but i think he was looking for a one nighter. and office romances go on more often than most of us think. he may have appeared "sweet", but some guys have a routine down so good they can have the smartest girl fooled. sounds to me (speaking from a guys perspective) that this guy was just looking for a quick hook up.

[rose45]

i am actually kind of upset a little..because i am crushing on him now

 

i don't really feel bad about what happened..if anything i showed willpower that i placed myself in that position but i didn't sleep with him and it was tempting to.

 

i just sort of wish we could get to know each other more and hang out here and there..

 

in a sense i put myself in this position because i am not sure if he was going to push for anything..but who knows maybe he would have tried kissing me goodnight or something

[markRocket]

if this guy makes a genuine effort to take you out to coffee, lunch, or dinner and get to know you better, then great. But if what you're original question was whether or not we (people posting here on the forum) think this guy was for real or not, i'd have to say no, he doesn't seem like he genuinely cared for you. i think it was an act. if you say this guy is friendly and popular at the office- you may not be the first girl he's done this to.

[rose45]

i guess its good i didn't go too far like with my clothes being off or anything right? lol

 

kind of sux b/c i think i like him now..he seems pretty genuine..last week i really didn't look too well and he approached me saying do you want to grab a drink and talk..maybe he was expecting for me to say no i have no idea..but i guess i thought it was nice he cared enough to offer

[markRocket]

sure its good you didn't sleep with him. if you did things probably would have been a lot more complicated and messy. and about him approaching you- that could've been him being a nice guy remembering the night you guys had. it could also be him pushing for another drink to hopefully get you to take off all your clothes this time. if he's not calling you or making any so called "sweet" or special approaches to you, he most likely, unfortunately doesn't feel the same way you feel about him.

[rose45]

hey,

 

no when he saw me a little off at work and offered to get a drink--that was before this night we had together..not after

 

i think with that first situation of offering to talk he was just being genuine

 

the physical stuff that happened i guess he probably just thought i was going to go all the way...

 

i kind of like him now which sucks

 

where do i go from here? sometimes i feel like we give each other that look like we are attracted..don't do that anymore? play even more hard to get or something? not really sure....

[markRocket]

Well you definitely must really like him because in every reply you feel the need to say "it kind of sucks i like him now". it's a work place relationship. don't play hard to get. don't do anything. work relationships almost always have a bad ending and you're in a position to prevent that. it's alread got a bad start because this guys just playing you hot and cold as a game to him, and you've developed real feelings