ilikegirls Posted July 3, 2010 Posted July 3, 2010 is saying "i love you" different from saying "im in love with you"? because i told my gf i loved her around our 4months ans she just told me she loved me around 2 months later... now we say it to each other frequently. but today i told her i was "in love with her" and although she didnt say anything, i felt her acting a bit weird a little awkward after i said that, for about a minute then things got back to normal... is it that much of a difference?
Green Posted July 3, 2010 Posted July 3, 2010 Yeah there is a BIG DIFFERENCE. Maybe in 2 months she'll be "in love" with you too.
aerogurl87 Posted July 3, 2010 Posted July 3, 2010 I love my friends, but I'm not in love with them. There's a difference between the two meanings, but when someone your in a relationship with says "I love you" I've always took it to mean "I love you" AND "I'm in love with you".
Green Posted July 3, 2010 Posted July 3, 2010 I love my friends, but I'm not in love with them. There's a difference between the two meanings, but when someone your in a relationship with says "I love you" I've always took it to mean "I love you" AND "I'm in love with you". Well the context of his story shows that his gf is making the same distinction we did.
aerogurl87 Posted July 3, 2010 Posted July 3, 2010 Well the context of his story shows that his gf is making the same distinction we did. Maybe and this is why I never make the mistake of telling someone I'm dating that I love them unless I know that I love them and are in love with them also. If I'm not in love, I just say I really like them.
Author ilikegirls Posted July 3, 2010 Author Posted July 3, 2010 more in depth before we told each other that we love each other we said we liked each other very much... around our 4 months i told her that i loved her, she said it back, but hesitated.. then later she told me that she wasnt ready to say it, because she wants to be able to say it without thinking and just know and feel it. then 2 months later she said she loved me... since then we say it back to each other all the time.
Gero Posted July 3, 2010 Posted July 3, 2010 I dated a girl and told her that I loved her. She never said it back and broke up with me a few months later. Sometimes people won't say it because they don't feel it, but other times they bring baggage in from other relationships or whatever and it's hard for them to say it unless they are really sure that they mean it.
Viking Posted July 3, 2010 Posted July 3, 2010 Personally, I have yet to say it to my girlfriend, even though we've been dating for 9+ months and official for almost 5. My last GF I told her that I loved her and it was too early for her but she said it anyhow hoping that she would feel it later. She eventually did feel it was right, but it really puts the other person on the spot as well as yourself because of the weight and gravity that such a declaration means. I love my girlfriend, but I haven't said it yet because I don't want her to feel pressured by a certain moment. When the time is right, I will say it, but I need to feel like we're having an important moment together where I can look her in the eyes and tell her that I love her. For some girls, I think it is up to the guy to say "I love you" and if they feel the same, they will say it back. Timing is the key. Saying "I am in love with you" to me means that you love them completely and wholly, not just "I love you" for the time being.
jason83 Posted July 3, 2010 Posted July 3, 2010 Definitely a big difference in "I love you" and "I'm in love with you". I've had girls that have broken up with me stating they love me but aren't IN love with me. I love a lot of people in my life but there is only one person I'm IN love with...and that's my girlfriend. Also, realize that people will say and express this love or being in love different. Some girls say it all the time. Some girls rarely say it. It's all about how we were all raised and how we express our emotions. Personally I enjoy more of the subtle and small things like her leaning over to hold your hand for no reason at all, placing a hand on your back, or late night leaning over for a kiss and falling asleep in your arms. To me, these speak louder than words but for others they want to constantly hear the other person say "I love you" or "I'm so in love with you" Hope that helps as I feel I'm rambling
Gero Posted July 3, 2010 Posted July 3, 2010 The thing is, does anyone know what the difference between the two are? If there is a big difference, then what is it? I don't have a lot of experience with love so I'm sorta confused.
Feelin Frisky Posted July 3, 2010 Posted July 3, 2010 is saying "i love you" different from saying "im in love with you"? because i told my gf i loved her around our 4months ans she just told me she loved me around 2 months later... now we say it to each other frequently. but today i told her i was "in love with her" and although she didnt say anything, i felt her acting a bit weird a little awkward after i said that, for about a minute then things got back to normal... is it that much of a difference? Depends on the person but I'd say it can represent a big difference. A lot of people whose marriages just turn out to be ones of convenience after a while often say "don't get me wrong, I love him or her, but I'm just not in love with him or her anymore". That's double talk for He or she is tolerable and ocasionally perhaps fun but being in love is like walking ona cloud and finding ways to steal time to be together and really act out romantic excitement. I myself was in love with a co-worker. I'd pass her notes to meet me in the locker room in five minutes. She'd always gleefully comply and we kissed like crazy for a few moments before some dip-shi+ would come in and we'd have to break it up, me returning to my office with a hard on and precum leeching through my pants. When we eventually started living together, she started going to bed without me the very first week. It wasn't long before we had that "I love him and I love her" but stuff. It was nothing like those days when we would steal kisses during the day and meet afterwork and go on the plaza behind the building where other lovers were mugging it up and we'd make out for hours. My heart would soar if she got on the same comuter train in the AM and we'd be all over each other before work too.
pandagirl Posted July 3, 2010 Posted July 3, 2010 For me, it's pretty simple: if you're in a relationship with someone, there should be romantic love (affection, adoration, sexual attraction). If none of those things are there, then you've simply got yourself a pal.
aerogurl87 Posted July 3, 2010 Posted July 3, 2010 What's the difference? To me being in love is how you should feel about your romantic partner. You show them you care about them through being affectionate and they're the only person you want to be with romantically. Loving someone is different though. I loved my ex boyfriend, but I wasn't in love with him. I'd do anything for him and be there for him whenever he needed me, BUT I lacked a romantic attachment to him.
Gero Posted July 3, 2010 Posted July 3, 2010 What's the difference? To me being in love is how you should feel about your romantic partner. You show them you care about them through being affectionate and they're the only person you want to be with romantically. Loving someone is different though. I loved my ex boyfriend, but I wasn't in love with him. I'd do anything for him and be there for him whenever he needed me, BUT I lacked a romantic attachment to him. Is it possible to be in love with someone or whatever before things get physical?
aerogurl87 Posted July 3, 2010 Posted July 3, 2010 Is it possible to be in love with someone or whatever before things get physical? Yes, absolutely! I fell in love with my boyfriend before we even met in person (we met online and had been "dating" for 3 months already). When I first saw him in person, before we even touched, just seeing his eyes cemented in me the feeling that I was in love with him. Love involves more than the physical. It is emotional, mental, and physical. So if you have the other two elements already in place, you can definitely fall in love before your relationship gets physical I believe.
sloudrou Posted July 3, 2010 Posted July 3, 2010 more in depth before we told each other that we love each other we said we liked each other very much... around our 4 months i told her that i loved her, she said it back, but hesitated.. then later she told me that she wasnt ready to say it, because she wants to be able to say it without thinking and just know and feel it. then 2 months later she said she loved me... since then we say it back to each other all the time. Welcome to "friend zone". Hate to say it, but the fact is, you're just keeping the seat warm for her next boyfriend at this point. That's why she isn't "in love" with you, and probably doesn't want to be physically intimate with you either. What can you do? Well, I know from recent experience that it's VERY hard to get out of friend zone, so you may need to write this girl off and find someone else. What you really need to do is back away from her, give her some space. If she wants you, she'll come around of her own accord. If she doesn't come around after you've backed away, it means she already has someone else lined up.
Gero Posted July 3, 2010 Posted July 3, 2010 Yes, absolutely! I fell in love with my boyfriend before we even met in person (we met online and had been "dating" for 3 months already). When I first saw him in person, before we even touched, just seeing his eyes cemented in me the feeling that I was in love with him. Love involves more than the physical. It is emotional, mental, and physical. So if you have the other two elements already in place, you can definitely fall in love before your relationship gets physical I believe. Thanks. I think I feel this way about a girl that I met, but I keep trying to convince myself that something is wrong with me. I haven't even kissed her yet though because I'm shy and sorta afraid to make a move or come off as awkward. Plus I haven't kissed a girl in 10 years so it's hard to get back in the swing of things. We've been on two dates, but the second one was a earlier date from 3-5pm and I didn't feel it was the right place or time to go in for a kiss. Being that I felt this way about a girl 10 years ago and she never said it back, I worry about getting hurt again, but I worry that she might also think I am weird for feeling this way. I have a strange personality, so I either don't like a person enough to keep dating them or if they are really great, then I fall for them big time. Then I try to explain it away as there being something wrong with me and I miss my chance. I had a situation a few years ago where I really liked this girl that I was friends with for 7 years. I don't know how she felt and I went really slow with things and never even kissed her. I never really told her how I felt because I was too afraid and it ended up ruining the friendship. She probably was annoyed with me and started ignoring my calls. I called her one last time and told her that I guess she didn't want to at remain friends because she was ignoring me. I got a call right after leaving that message and I didn't answer it. I knew it was her, but I just couldn't deal with it anymore. I feel sometimes that the only way things will work out for me is if I tell the other person exactly how I feel. It's hard though because being a guy, I am supposed to bottle everything in and as nice and as sweet of a guy I am, I still view this as showing a sign of weakness that will turn the girl off. So yeah, as you can tell, I am a really confused person.
aerogurl87 Posted July 3, 2010 Posted July 3, 2010 Thanks. I think I feel this way about a girl that I met, but I keep trying to convince myself that something is wrong with me. I haven't even kissed her yet though because I'm shy and sorta afraid to make a move or come off as awkward. Plus I haven't kissed a girl in 10 years so it's hard to get back in the swing of things. We've been on two dates, but the second one was a earlier date from 3-5pm and I didn't feel it was the right place or time to go in for a kiss. Being that I felt this way about a girl 10 years ago and she never said it back, I worry about getting hurt again, but I worry that she might also think I am weird for feeling this way. I have a strange personality, so I either don't like a person enough to keep dating them or if they are really great, then I fall for them big time. Then I try to explain it away as there being something wrong with me and I miss my chance. I had a situation a few years ago where I really liked this girl that I was friends with for 7 years. I don't know how she felt and I went really slow with things and never even kissed her. I never really told her how I felt because I was too afraid and it ended up ruining the friendship. She probably was annoyed with me and started ignoring my calls. I called her one last time and told her that I guess she didn't want to at remain friends because she was ignoring me. I got a call right after leaving that message and I didn't answer it. I knew it was her, but I just couldn't deal with it anymore. I feel sometimes that the only way things will work out for me is if I tell the other person exactly how I feel. It's hard though because being a guy, I am supposed to bottle everything in and as nice and as sweet of a guy I am, I still view this as showing a sign of weakness that will turn the girl off. So yeah, as you can tell, I am a really confused person. I think I know what you mean. When I date and end up liking someone, I look for any and everything that could be wrong with them once I start to fall for them. Sometimes it sabatoges things for me, other times it saves me and I end up seeing that they're not the right person for me. But if you feel you really like this girl, go in for the kiss. Doesn't matter if it's not the magical Hollywood moment, hell my boyfriend kissed me for the first time at a stoplight when we were driving through snow in the middle of May, lol. If it feels right, go for it! But I'd hold off with telling her you loved her and all that, for a bit. My ex told me he loved me after knowing me for a week, and when asked to explain he sounded like a deluded 12 year old talking about fairytale magic and that turned me off to him pretty much for good. Still loved him, but I never could get past the "this guy must be nuts" idea that was in the back of my mind to actually fall in love with him.
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