actuality Posted July 3, 2010 Posted July 3, 2010 I am 32, single and in decent shape. I never really have any problems chatting the ladies up. I have been single for about a year and recently started to ask women out again. So I went to karaoke night. I started chatting up these 2 girls, they were 21. I didn't know they were that young at first. But whatever. Anyway, the one girl sparked my interest some and we had a good chat. I got her phone number and then asked her out. She accepted. She wasn't really drunk or anything and I never even bought her a drink even though I offered. Then, she proceeds to tell me that some older guy at the bar is creeping her out. She said this dude starting chatting her up earlier and was talking about her moving in with him. So we joked about it and agreed I would PRETEND to be her boyfriend. So this 40 something guy comes up, grabs her by the hand and pulls her out of the bar as soon as last call hits. I mean I had no problem standing up to this guy but why would I? I mean, I need a little help here... So I left the bar and saw dude and her talking outside. It did not seem very friendly. So as I walked by I said good night. I tried to call this girl today... of course no answer. Is this a perfect example of what being a "nice guy" gets you? I had no intention of taking that girl home that night... I would rather have gotten to know her. I suppose I am just frustrated. It seems a bit rude to not even answer her phone. I am so facking sick of women right now.
Knittress Posted July 3, 2010 Posted July 3, 2010 One thing I hate about everyone having cell phones is that everyone EXPECTS everybody else to be at their beck and call. I rarely answer mine.
Woggle Posted July 3, 2010 Posted July 3, 2010 Now you have learned your lesson. This is why I never try to be the knight in shining armor. Women are perfectly capable of handling their own problems.
Gero Posted July 3, 2010 Posted July 3, 2010 One thing I hate about everyone having cell phones is that everyone EXPECTS everybody else to be at their beck and call. I rarely answer mine. That is actually true. That's why I never wanted one to begin with. I had to get one when my car was breaking down all of the time. I rarely use it and only answer to people that I want to talk to.
gamma1 Posted July 3, 2010 Posted July 3, 2010 She's already creating drama. I'd next her unless she returns your call within a reasonable amount of time and doesn't create more drama.
Green Posted July 3, 2010 Posted July 3, 2010 Girl at BAR... I already expected the story to end bad.
Author actuality Posted July 3, 2010 Author Posted July 3, 2010 I mean I had no problem standing up to this guy but why would I? I mean, I need a little help here... I couldn't agree more. That is why I reacted the way I did above. The whole situation just doesn't make much sense to me. The only logical explanation I have come up with is she is an attention whore. Welcome to the dating scene I suppose. Sigh.....
Woggle Posted July 3, 2010 Posted July 3, 2010 She used you. That is the position most gentlemen find themselves in these days.
that girl Posted July 3, 2010 Posted July 3, 2010 Why didn't you even ask her if she was okay? I don't expect anyone to throw down over a stranger, but she tells you this guy is hasselling her, guy grabs her hand and drags her out of the bar, and the last thing you see is what looks like an argument between them. I would be concerned not annoyed in that situation. But you've made it all about you and how nice guys finish last. Maybe she is intentionally letting your call go to voicemail because she's just so worn out from the karoke drama or maybe she feels like you left her twisting in the wind. You don't sound very nice to me. A nice guy would have some concern for the girl, not make it all about him. I'm not saying you should have started something, but a "hey, is everything okay" sounds like it could have helped her out of a bad situation.
Author actuality Posted July 3, 2010 Author Posted July 3, 2010 She used you. That is the position most gentlemen find themselves in these days. What did she use me for? Attention? Conversation?
Green Posted July 3, 2010 Posted July 3, 2010 She used you. That is the position most gentlemen find themselves in these days. Once again the fact that a man at OVER THIRTY is suprised by a girl using him for EGO/MONEY ect. just makes me wonder. THEY ALWAYS HAVE AN ANGLE. Life is not some fairytale.
Woggle Posted July 3, 2010 Posted July 3, 2010 What did she use me for? Attention? Conversation? Attention. She probably wanted to see two men fight over her which some women get off on.
Author actuality Posted July 3, 2010 Author Posted July 3, 2010 Why didn't you even ask her if she was okay? I don't expect anyone to throw down over a stranger, but she tells you this guy is hasselling her, guy grabs her hand and drags her out of the bar, and the last thing you see is what looks like an argument between them. I would be concerned not annoyed in that situation. But you've made it all about you and how nice guys finish last. Maybe she is intentionally letting your call go to voicemail because she's just so worn out from the karoke drama or maybe she feels like you left her twisting in the wind. You don't sound very nice to me. A nice guy would have some concern for the girl, not make it all about him. I'm not saying you should have started something, but a "hey, is everything okay" sounds like it could have helped her out of a bad situation. I figure if a guy grabbed some girl by the hand and she wasn't into him, SHE WOULDN'T GO. Period. It takes 2 to tango and some chic and the bar isn't gonna get me into a bar fight over her own lack of judgement.
Green Posted July 3, 2010 Posted July 3, 2010 Why didn't you even ask her if she was okay? I don't expect anyone to throw down over a stranger, but she tells you this guy is hasselling her, guy grabs her hand and drags her out of the bar, and the last thing you see is what looks like an argument between them. I would be concerned not annoyed in that situation. But you've made it all about you and how nice guys finish last. Maybe she is intentionally letting your call go to voicemail because she's just so worn out from the karoke drama or maybe she feels like you left her twisting in the wind. You don't sound very nice to me. A nice guy would have some concern for the girl, not make it all about him. I'm not saying you should have started something, but a "hey, is everything okay" sounds like it could have helped her out of a bad situation. Read between the lines. She was having a lovers quarel with the other guy. HE WALKED BY AND SAID GOODNIGHT and she gave him the cold shoulder. Seriously if she was really in trouble all she had to do was scream and wannabe heroes would have come in and saved her. THAT WAS NOT THE SITUATION. It was DRAMA.
Woggle Posted July 3, 2010 Posted July 3, 2010 Men have gotten killed over situations like this. Why should a man endanger himself?
that girl Posted July 3, 2010 Posted July 3, 2010 I figure if a guy grabbed some girl by the hand and she wasn't into him, SHE WOULDN'T GO. Period. It takes 2 to tango and some chic and the bar isn't gonna get me into a bar fight over her own lack of judgement. Would I go? No. I would pull away and make it very clear that I wasn't going anywhere with someone. But I am an assertive person and I know people who could be so surprised or intimidated that they would allow themselves to be pulled out of a bar. I am not saying you should have gotten into a bar fight, but from what you've written you don't sound like a nice guy. She obviously had some drama going on and it appears like a stranger was harassing her. And all you are thinking is "Women suck, she let my call go to voicemail."
gamma1 Posted July 3, 2010 Posted July 3, 2010 She's already creating drama. I'd next her unless she returns your call within a reasonable amount of time and doesn't create more drama. I fixed my suggestion. Forget about her and look for someone better.
that girl Posted July 3, 2010 Posted July 3, 2010 Men have gotten killed over situations like this. Why should a man endanger himself? Nothing in the situation suggests any danger to the man, but if a man thinks it is a dangerous situation he can always alert the bouncer. I wouldn't be judgemental about the lack of action, if it wasn't for the fact that he shows no concern for this girls welfare. The whole point of the story is what fickle bitches women are, but jeez he left her hanging.
Green Posted July 3, 2010 Posted July 3, 2010 Would I go? No. I would pull away and make it very clear that I wasn't going anywhere with someone. But I am an assertive person and I know people who could be so surprised or intimidated that they would allow themselves to be pulled out of a bar. I am not saying you should have gotten into a bar fight, but from what you've written you don't sound like a nice guy. She obviously had some drama going on and it appears like a stranger was harassing her. And all you are thinking is "Women suck, she let my call go to voicemail." Spoken like a woman. Seriously, you can't go around asking girls who are with other guys "ARE YOU OK" really your likely to get punched in the face and when the cops show up because your blood is all over the place both the guy who hit you and the girl you were trying to protect are going to say "HE WAS HARASING ME"
Gero Posted July 3, 2010 Posted July 3, 2010 Spoken like a woman. Seriously, you can't go around asking girls who are with other guys "ARE YOU OK" really your likely to get punched in the face and when the cops show up because your blood is all over the place both the guy who hit you and the girl you were trying to protect are going to say "HE WAS HARASING ME" Exactly right. Why would you want to get with some chick that has all of this drama going on anyway? It just seems like she craves attention and wants guys fighting over her.
gamma1 Posted July 3, 2010 Posted July 3, 2010 It's hard to know what happened without being there and it's easy to try and judge fault from the internet. Regardless, I certainly don't think he should spend any more time thinking about her. They are clearly not right for each other.
that girl Posted July 3, 2010 Posted July 3, 2010 Spoken like a woman. Seriously, you can't go around asking girls who are with other guys "ARE YOU OK" really your likely to get punched in the face and when the cops show up because your blood is all over the place both the guy who hit you and the girl you were trying to protect are going to say "HE WAS HARASING ME" What do you really think happened? That this was some elaborate set-up where the girl lied about a man hasseling her and was totally waiting for him to drag her off into the parking lot so they could punch the OP in the face? If you really think that is a possibility, you go up to the bouncer and say "Hey, this girl told me she was being bothered by some guy and now they're arguing in the parking lot, maybe you should check it out" before walking off into your car. But you don't come on to a message board and use this as an example of why being a nice guy means you get screwed over. She talked to him for a brief period of time, accepted no drinks from him, and has been given less than 24 hours to return the phone call. Even without the guy dragging her out of the bar, blowing off a phone call from someone you briefly met is not a capital offense. It isn't very nice, but it isn't that big of a deal. And she hasn't even been given 24 hours to return the call! The OP is not coming off like a great guy.
Green Posted July 3, 2010 Posted July 3, 2010 What do you really think happened? That this was some elaborate set-up where the girl lied about a man hasseling her and was totally waiting for him to drag her off into the parking lot so they could punch the OP in the face? If you really think that is a possibility, you go up to the bouncer and say "Hey, this girl told me she was being bothered by some guy and now they're arguing in the parking lot, maybe you should check it out" before walking off into your car. But you don't come on to a message board and use this as an example of why being a nice guy means you get screwed over. She talked to him for a brief period of time, accepted no drinks from him, and has been given less than 24 hours to return the phone call. Even without the guy dragging her out of the bar, blowing off a phone call from someone you briefly met is not a capital offense. It isn't very nice, but it isn't that big of a deal. And she hasn't even been given 24 hours to return the call! The OP is not coming off like a great guy. Let me fill you in because you seem clueless. This kind of thing happens. In the story he told us he walked up to her and said GOOD NIGHT and got completly ignored as in she was raptured by this OTHER MAN. You are making up some other story in your MIND because you are refusing to accept the obviouse scenario of DRAMA queen at a bar that most MEN including myself has encountered.
xpaperxcutx Posted July 3, 2010 Posted July 3, 2010 What do you really think happened? That this was some elaborate set-up where the girl lied about a man hasseling her and was totally waiting for him to drag her off into the parking lot so they could punch the OP in the face? If you really think that is a possibility, you go up to the bouncer and say "Hey, this girl told me she was being bothered by some guy and now they're arguing in the parking lot, maybe you should check it out" before walking off into your car. But you don't come on to a message board and use this as an example of why being a nice guy means you get screwed over. She talked to him for a brief period of time, accepted no drinks from him, and has been given less than 24 hours to return the phone call. Even without the guy dragging her out of the bar, blowing off a phone call from someone you briefly met is not a capital offense. It isn't very nice, but it isn't that big of a deal. And she hasn't even been given 24 hours to return the call! The OP is not coming off like a great guy. That_ girl I agree with you. OP, it wasn't that the girl had been dragging you into an unnecessary, but you being a guy should have had the decency to make sure she was okay. Even if she had been a stranger. Were a fight to even ensue, the bouncer would have been there to break it up. The way you just walked away isn't any different from her not picking up your call. If you didn't feel like you had a right to at least get the guy off her back, then why do you think she has an obligation to pick up your call?
xpaperxcutx Posted July 3, 2010 Posted July 3, 2010 What do you really think happened? That this was some elaborate set-up where the girl lied about a man hasseling her and was totally waiting for him to drag her off into the parking lot so they could punch the OP in the face? If you really think that is a possibility, you go up to the bouncer and say "Hey, this girl told me she was being bothered by some guy and now they're arguing in the parking lot, maybe you should check it out" before walking off into your car. But you don't come on to a message board and use this as an example of why being a nice guy means you get screwed over. She talked to him for a brief period of time, accepted no drinks from him, and has been given less than 24 hours to return the phone call. Even without the guy dragging her out of the bar, blowing off a phone call from someone you briefly met is not a capital offense. It isn't very nice, but it isn't that big of a deal. And she hasn't even been given 24 hours to return the call! The OP is not coming off like a great guy. That_ girl I agree with you. OP, it wasn't that the girl had been dragging you into an unnecessary, but you being a guy should have had the decency to make sure she was okay. Even if she had been a stranger. Were a fight to even ensue, the bouncer would have been there to break it up. The way you just walked away isn't any different from her not picking up your call. If you didn't feel like you had a right to at least get the guy off her back, then why do you think she has an obligation to pick up your call?
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