Should I let things be or make a move?

[Mike B.]

I moved to a condo in a new state about one month ago. Many dog owners live here and you run into a lot of residents on the property walking their dogs. A few days after moving in, I met my neighbor who stays right down the hall from me while walking her dog. I have a very cute puppy, Riley, and she immediately went crazy over him wanting to pet him and every thing like many people do when I walk him. So now, every time I see here, I get this good vibe from her but I am not sure if it’s because of my dog or if she is actually interested in me.

 

Whenever I see her walking her dog, she seems to slow down so I will catch up with her. Last week I inquired about finding someone to let Riley out while I am at work. She immediately volunteered to do it for free even though I offered to pay her. She declined. During the conversation, she said she didn’t want to be nosey but asked if I had moved to this new state for a job. I told her yes but did not offer information on what I do for a living because once I tell someone what I do for a living it usually becomes the focus of a lot of the conversation because it is sort of a prestigious profession and I was enjoying our small talk whenever we ran into each other.

 

She told me that she works from home and that she is usually just home all day sitting around in sweats and a T-shirt. I usually dress the same when I am on the property. The following day, her and I were coming out of our respective apartments at the same time. She lives three doors down from me and her dog start pulling her towards me while on the lease. The dog is very small but she just let the dog pull her over to me and she began to ask me how was my weekend and just talking small talk as always. She is always upbeat and in a good mood when I see her and seems to be single and home most of the day.

 

Anyway, I started work at my new job a couple of days ago so I gave her a key to my place so she could go in and walk my dog which is pretty common practice in this condo complex that we live in. I was thinking how nice of her it is for her to walk my dog and clean up after him while walking him for free. Once I arrived home after my first day of work, I called her cellphone to ask her how it went but just got her voicemail. I left her a message thanking her for walking Riley and told her I hoped everything went okay at about 6pm. Once I hung up the phone, I noticed a note stuck under my door (was not sure if I missed it or if she just stuck it under the door while I was calling her). She told me that Riley was very good and that she walked him and would be available to do it the following day if I needed her. She never returned my call that night though. While in my home I figured she would find out what I did for a living because my diplomas are on the walls of my condo. I couldn’t help but to wonder if maybe she was now, somehow, intimidated by my status. It is no big deal for me but some women tend to think that I may have women throwing themselves all over me because I am in a lucrative profession but that is really not the case at all although I am an okay looking guy.

 

 

Well, today I picked up a Thank You card for her and slid it under her door. She called me to thank me for the card and sounded upbeat about it. She explained that she didn’t call me back yesterday because she didn’t get my message until 9:30pm and she didn’t want to call to late. She told me that it was no problem to walk Riley and it was a pleasure doing so. She then I said “well, I am sure I will be seeing you when we walk our dogs but have a great holiday weekend.” I wished her the same and hung up.

 

 

 

Now, I am wondering if I should just let things continue as this sort of neighborly thing and just see if it takes us anywhere or should I make a move and ask her out to lunch or something. The only thing I have to lose is that if she turns me down, she may then feel too uncomfortable to walk Riley while I am at work and then I would have to find another dog walker. On the other hand, she could be waiting for me to make a move and if I don’t, she could possibly give up on me and just become interested in someone else if she is interested in me. It is hard to tell if I am getting a vibe of interest from her or not or if she just has this really outgoing personality. I need some input.

[that girl]

Seriously, what do you do for a living? At first I was thinking something like drummer for a big time band, but then you started talking diplomas. And diplomas makes me think doctor, lawyer or professor. In which case, "intimidated by your job" is not what would spring to mind if she has a professional job.

 

Otherwise, she is obviously interested.

[D-Lish]

If she can afford to own her own condo in the same building as you do, chances are she does okay financially. Not sure why you'd be so wrapped in in your status that you'd believe you'd intimidate a woman... You need to get over that!

 

Yes, I think it sounds like she is interested. Remember, she doesn't know what you do for a living, and it seems she likes you without knowing what you do. A woman that is prone to going after a guy because of what he does for a living isn't the kind of girl you should date- but she doesn't know.

 

Ask her out- ask her over for a glass of wine one night to thank her for looking after your dog.

[Mike B.]

<i> Not sure why you'd be so wrapped in in your status that you'd believe you'd intimidate a woman... You need to get over that!</i>

 

 

Thanks for the responses.

 

I want to make it clear that I am not "wrapped into my status" by any means but from past experience, some people do feel intimidated by it or feel that I can have many women because this is what I have been told on quite a few occasions before. This is why I go out of my way to dress simple and not be flashy or anything.

 

 

Again, women are not flocking all over me as some may think. I have to be just as interesting as the next man to attract women despite my career.

Also, she does know what I do for a living now since I have diplomas and certificates all over my wall in my little office area of my place and my dog's cage sits right next to this area so when she walked him, I am sure she noticed them.

 

 

One more thing: you don't think the wine would be too forward? Actually I have a wine rack full of great wine.

Edited July 3, 2010 by Mike B.

[D-Lish]

<i> Not sure why you'd be so wrapped in in your status that you'd believe you'd intimidate a woman... You need to get over that!</i>

 

 

Thanks for the responses.

 

I want to make it clear that I am not "wrapped into my status" by any means but from past experience, some people do feel intimidated by it or feel that I can have many women because this is what I have been told on quite a few occasions before. This is why I go out of my way to dress simple and not be flashy or anything.

 

 

Again, women are not flocking all over me as some may think. I have to be just as interesting as the next man to attract women despite my career.

Also, she does know what I do for a living now since I have diplomas and certificates all over my wall in my little office area of my place and my dog's cage sits right next to this area so when she walked him, I am sure she noticed them.

 

I still think you need to get over it. She was interested in talking to you before she was in your place to see your "important status". She offered to do something really nice for you before knowing anything about you, that should tell you something about this girl.

 

I lived above a NeuroSurgeon in my old building. He did recieve a lot of attention from vapid money hungry women wrapped up in his status. Quite frankly, he didn't impress me or intimidate me in the least bit - he was so wrapped up in his own "status" that it was a turn off. His nick-name in our building was Dr. Douche-Bag.

[Green]

DO YOU LIKE HER? If the answer to that question is YES then you SHOULD make a move. Don't worry about if she likes you, just worry about if you like her. Don't be afraid of REJECTION.

 

You can easily make a move, like "You have to let me take you out for a nice dinner for helping me with my dog" then just make sure and KISS her so she knows its a date.

[Mike B.]

D-Lish, I really do appreciate your valuable input here but I think you are getting the wrong impression here. I realize that she was indeed interested in helping me out before she visited my place but I was just wondering if maybe when she find out what I did that she was maybe not as interested as much because of it.

 

I do NOT believe my profession is a big deal nor do I behave like so but some people do become focused on it instead of me once they find out. This is just what happens. I don't know what else to say. Some people just have insecurities and feel intimidated by others. For example, I am from a very poor neighborhood and I often visit my old neighborhood, friends and people who I grew up with. I used to ask some of my family members and other friends who I grew up with why some of the other guys in the neighborhood act insecure around me when I have known them my whole life and many times I have gotten the answer that they do not feel that they are own my level anymore. This is unfortunate because they are still the people I feel most comfortable hanging out with and feel very close to them.

 

Also,although you did not feel intimidated by your former neighbor, I am sure there were others who were. Some people just are. Anyway, this is why I do not offer that information and if you saw me on the street, you would probably think I worked at a fast food joint.

 

Again, I only brought this up because she had behaved differently for the first time since I met her after she went into my place for the first time. It is something I had seen before in the past and was hoping it was not a similar situation.

 

Now, I just want to get back to winning this woman over! Again, my profession is becoming the focus here. Lets switch gears! Now, you spoke of inviting her over for wine...

[Mike B.]

DO YOU LIKE HER? If the answer to that question is YES then you SHOULD make a move. Don't worry about if she likes you, just worry about if you like her. Don't be afraid of REJECTION.

 

You can easily make a move, like "You have to let me take you out for a nice dinner for helping me with my dog" then just make sure and KISS her so she knows its a date.

 

I will make a move. I am not worried about the rejection at all. I am a firm believe in that you win some and lose some. I was more concerned that if she did reject me then maybe she would feel uncomfortable watching after Riley then which is very crucial for me since I have no other friends or family to look after him while I am working long hours and she stays only a couple of doors down from me which is really nice.

[Mike B.]

Well, I asked her out as a show of my appreciation for taking care of my dog, Riley, while I am at work. She enthusiastically accepted but said I didn't have to do that. I told her I wanted to and she said "okay."

 

We went out to dinner a couple of days ago. We both seemed to have a really great time getting to know each other. We both laughed and smiled a lot. I found out that she was divorced and had no children. I figured she had to been separated at least for 2 years since she has beeen living in our building for two years, she has a 4 year-old dog and her and her ex were together when they got the dog.

 

It was a nice restaurant and things were very upbeat. Yesterday, she left a thank you card under my door saying "thank you for the dinner last night! It was really nice to get to know you better. It also has been fun to walk Riley. He is such a good dog." She also told me the name of some Chinese restaurants in the card that she couldn't recall during dinner the previous night and the name of a wine store since she knew I was into wine.

 

I called her after reading the card to thank her. I figured maybe she was giving me a cue to invite her out again. I got her voicemail and just left a message. I thanked her for the card and said that I really appreciated it. I then said that we should go to the Chinese restaurant together and to just let me know when she ever got time open in her schedule to do so and I said goodbye.

 

This morning I went to the wine store she recommended and restocked my wine rack. Once I got back to the building to the apartment I lived in, I waited for the elevator. The door opened and there she was. She exited the elevator then I went inside and held the door to speak with her. She smile and said "hi" and asked me if I was out running errands. I told her that I just returned from the wine store she recommended and picked out some nice wine. She smiled and said "cool." I then told her that she should come over some time to try some out with me she only smiled and said "cool' again. I told her to have a nice day and she said "bye". I then got on the elevator. She didn't even acknowledge the message I left on her voicemail and obviously didn't take me up on my offer to come over for wine.

 

Now, I am confused. At first I was thinking that she was interested especially after she left that card under my door but I don't know what to think. It seems as if her interest level is dropping now. Maybe I failed a test from her or something. I thought this would be easier. I really wanted to spend more time with her and get to know her even better.

Edited July 10, 2010 by Mike B.

[Green]

Did you go in for the KISS on the date?

[Mike B.]

Did you go in for the KISS on the date?

 

No, I didn't. I want to take it slow since she stay only a few doors down from me, not to mention, already has a key to my apartment. So I figure I should really get to know her first before getting too physical.