nihilanth100 Posted July 3, 2010 Posted July 3, 2010 Background: 1.5 year relationship, she broke up "suddenly". I now see everything clearly like what went wrong and why she did it, I tried/wanted to work it out, she didnt think she could have feelings for me again blah blah. We ended it. I called her next day for final closure and i told her I was going to move on because I cant stop my life for this basically. Its been About 13 days of NC and ive held strong. I started my new Job, been hanging out with friends, been getting in shape again, slowly losing that hope of getting back together, slowly losing that "I hope shes around the corner" deal... slowly moving on . Then she texts just now. "Hey how are you?". Now, I probably wont respond at all, but if I do ill be nothing but emotionless and friendly, and I wont respond until tomorrow or 2 days. What do you all think? I miss her badly, but the more I heal the more I feel like it would be to different to reconcile... This was the first and only love of my life. Despite how strong I think ive been I still get wet eyes thinking about her, but I am healing quite fast. I have a lot of thinking to do, luckily I have a 3 day weekend to plan my actions. You can find my other thread detailing it. Thanks LS, this community has been nothing but supportive and has been a huge source of knowledge. But yea sorry my mind is ablaze but I might just stick to the whole "If she wants you back she wont play games and will be straight up". Life is fun yes?
Numb Posted July 3, 2010 Posted July 3, 2010 Yes life is super duper fun lol. I would stick to NC trust me, that text she just sent you means nothing at all. If you are in the spot of feeling better and moving on then the last thing you want to do is respond to her. Trust me I've been down that road. BE STRONG!!!!!
Author nihilanth100 Posted July 3, 2010 Author Posted July 3, 2010 Ok, so i'll probably just ignore that text then. I have a birthday party tomorrow and im going out that night (which I havnt done forever because of her). We will see what tomorrow brings! Im guessing you're right and it means nothing. Any other thoughts? LS is dead today, maybe because it was down earlier?
Numb Posted July 3, 2010 Posted July 3, 2010 Ignore all of her texts, if she wants you back she will be at your door and even if she did still be careful. Her text didn't mean anything at all, I'll say this much my ex sent me more meaningful texts than that and my dumb a** fell for them, I would have been in way better shape if I would have just ignored her comepletely. So learn from me if nothing else.
Author nihilanth100 Posted July 3, 2010 Author Posted July 3, 2010 You're right. It's hard to accept though. Ill be more clear minded tomorrow, I need to sleep. Thanks for the advice. Where at are you in AZ? Tempe here. GNight
Numb Posted July 3, 2010 Posted July 3, 2010 No problem, like I said it gets easier. Tempe cool, I'm in Peoria. Gnight
Binster Posted July 3, 2010 Posted July 3, 2010 Read a thread by AlwaysConflicted. It might be of intrest.
ahashakeheartbreak Posted July 3, 2010 Posted July 3, 2010 Don't respond. If they want you back, it will be in the first text they send you, they will be at your door, or calling you. Trust me. Anything else is petty and not worth your time. PS - I relate, my first love just broke up with me a couple months ago because he "didn't like me anymore." It's tough so I completely know what it's like. You'll be fine though!! (: It sounds like you're doing great already.
Author nihilanth100 Posted July 3, 2010 Author Posted July 3, 2010 Read a thread by AlwaysConflicted. It might be of intrest. I followed that one, quite disheartening. I learned a lot from it. Don't respond. If they want you back, it will be in the first text they send you, they will be at your door, or calling you. Trust me. Anything else is petty and not worth your time. PS - I relate, my first love just broke up with me a couple months ago because he "didn't like me anymore." It's tough so I completely know what it's like. You'll be fine though!! (: It sounds like you're doing great already.True. I guess unless she changes feelings (yea right) then ill stick to NC. I told her this too the last time we talked. I'll continue to work on myself and my new job. Also, I've been dreaming about her a lot and I dont know about others, but dreams have huge powerful emotional effects on me. Like if I dream about hanging out with her I'll wake up and have a huge urge to hang out or ill miss her. It fades after a couple hours, but I always found it strange. Is there some sort of chemcial thing going on? Haha
monkeymaid Posted July 3, 2010 Posted July 3, 2010 DING DING. ...its chemical. your body is going throuhg withdrawals (sp?). atm, you are not getting your daily dose of oxytocin (the love hormone) and your body wants it and has been used to getting it for a while now. when your physiology adapts to life without the same amount of oxytocin, or you find something else or someone else to love, you will stop feeling so disheartened
DenverBachelor Posted July 3, 2010 Posted July 3, 2010 You guys broke up. Nothing to talk about with her any more. Move along to prettier flower fields. Breaking NC ALWAYS ends up in disaster in the first few months after a breakup. By the time the emotions are completely gone, you'll probably see that friendship with her isn't even something you'll desire. Enjoy the party and the 4'th!
AlwaysConflicted Posted July 3, 2010 Posted July 3, 2010 I followed that one, quite disheartening. I learned a lot from it. Yes, I tried to fight the almighty power that governs our universe and I lost. No Contact is the only way. I've been thinking about my ex less and less. However, I still hang around these forums because it helps me cope. Truthfully, I can't ever see myself getting back together with my ex even if she begged me. Once you've been broken up with, things just don't feel right anymore. And that's probably why second chances don't work unless years and years have passed. I've been incredibly depressed, but I'm starting to come out of it. Stay NC and you'll be alright. I'm actually starting to enjoy NC because I feel like I'm regaining my self esteem by ignoring her and living my life. Anyways, glad I could help in some way and we're here for you. Happy 4th!
Author nihilanth100 Posted July 4, 2010 Author Posted July 4, 2010 Note: I am mildly intoxicated, but thats when my inhibitions break down. AlwaysC: I can't see myself getting back with my ex either. I know it would be a completely fresh start and there is no going back to what we had. Obviously what we had didn't work. I could maybe see myself dating her again, like a new relationship and then I would put into play the new persona I'm building for myself and see if it would work better, but im thinking I'll save the new me for another girl. It's just hard to see/realize that there are other better girls out there... I didn't have a serious girlfriend at all until her and that was at my age of 21. I'm very picky. But I just miss her so damn much... but I gotta tell myself, she dumped me so she didn't give a **** obviously... DenverB: You're right, we aren't together. It doesn't matter anymore, it doesn't matter how awesome my life is going right now regardless if I thought she was going to be there with me. She chose to leave me, which means she doesn't get to share my life with me anymore. I can't be friends with her, I'm in love with her still. I can only move on or reconcile, but the chances of reconciling are almost none so I'm moving on. Heartbreak: You've been very supportive, always saying how good you think I'm doing in my threads. Thank you! It helps knowing I'm on the right track. I think you and I are going through very similar situations so I'm glad I have your support along with the others. It helps a lot. So while I think I'm growing slowly better, I still have my bad days. But, I'm getting fit again, going out, getting my career rolling with my new job and if she didn't want to be there with me, I'll do it alone. I do miss having that person that understood me though, that I could text at any hour, confide in, vent too, etc etc... Don't know where I'm going with this so I'll end this here! Peace LS.
LoveTruthChaos Posted July 4, 2010 Posted July 4, 2010 I do miss having that person that understood me though, that I could text at any hour, confide in, vent too, etc etc... That's what I struggled with too - I suddenly lost one of my best friends in this world. It sucked! And then...I turned to my actual best friend (who is my soulmate), and she was there for me 100%. She picked me up just hours after the breakup and it was then and there that I learned what true love was. "Everything is effed up, straight from the heart, coz I can't turn to you when it all falls apart" - that's how it felt! But find your real friends and vent to them. Good luck!
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