markRocket Posted July 3, 2010 Posted July 3, 2010 hey guys i've been with my girl for a little over 2 years now, and things seem to be going great. except i can't help but shake the suspicion that somethings going on between her and one of our good friends. he was my roommate when she met him, and since then i've gotten an apartment with him and another good friend of mine. anyhow, ive started to notice things between the 2 of them that made me think there could be something going on. whenever i look at her or him when we're all together i VERY often catch them looking at each other, and just last week i had a party at my apartment where she was sitting on his lap on the couch with her arms around his neck. granted...she had had more than a few drinks. so i guess i could pass that off to that. also, if we're hanging out with our friends and the guy i'm speaking of (names zach) isn't there, my girlfriend will, without fail question me left and right about where he is and when is he coming to hang out with us. it just seems a little odd to me because i don't see her acting this way towards any of my other friends. my girlfriend and zach also always hug each other when they see each other and whenever saying goodbye, which i normally wouldn't find weird, but once again, she doesn't do this to any of my other friends. the main thing that raised all my suspicion was last week. before a party at my apartment fr our friends birthday, my girlfriend said she was coming with one of her friends and they were getting ready at her house. zach had said he was stuck at work and would be coming late from there. weird thing was, my girlfriends friend that she was supposedly coming to the party with showed up at the party without my girlfriend. her friend asked where my girlfriend was! i didn't say anything to her friend about supposedly being with her, because her friend obviously had no plans to come with my girlfriend in the first place. my girlfriend showed up about 15 minutes later, zach about an hour later. so i really could just be reading into things. anyone have any ideas about what i shiuld do? should i confront my girlfriend? or look for more signs of her possibly cheating first?
Cracker Jack Posted July 3, 2010 Posted July 3, 2010 (edited) I don't think it's just you. There's a chance, but you never know. I think you should wait a bit. It'd suck if you confronted her and nothing was going on. Maybe you could just have a general talk with her about your relationship instead of going into specifics regarding the friend. If you bring the friend up, she'll likely just deny it all. Tough position, though. I think there's a good chance something's up. Edited July 3, 2010 by Cracker Jack
Green Posted July 3, 2010 Posted July 3, 2010 I wouldn't be cool with the way she is acting. Especialy the sitting on his lap thing.
Serenitynow Posted July 3, 2010 Posted July 3, 2010 she was sitting on his lap on the couch with her arms around his neck. granted...she had had more than a few drinks. so i guess i could pass that off to that LOL I love how people are allowed to do anything they want because they were drinking. Most people just use alcohol as an excuse to do that stuff. They KNOW they can just blame it on the booze. Funny how she picked his lap of all the guys. Even if she was that drunk, I would still kick her to the curb. I have never dated a girl that drinks so much that she can say " oops I was drunk, sorry for _____ with another guy " I just have my standards a little higher when choosing a gf. .
SteveC80 Posted July 3, 2010 Posted July 3, 2010 happens allot women think anyone there attracted to and have fun with is some new soulmate and the person their with be damned
Author markRocket Posted July 3, 2010 Author Posted July 3, 2010 so i shouldn't confront her yet until i have more proof?
aerogurl87 Posted July 3, 2010 Posted July 3, 2010 Something's up I think, but don't confront her yet. Wait till you have more proof or have a discussion on the relationship and boundaries in general.
jenifer1972 Posted July 3, 2010 Posted July 3, 2010 So she lied, right? I take it that she told you she would be coming with a friend, and actually said she was at that moment getting READY AT THAT friend's house, but when that friend arrived she had no idea about it? Think about it. What possibly could be a reason to lie about where you were, and then Zach is inexplicably held up at work too? I know what Sherlock Holmes would say... But you don't have proof yet, and she's just gaslight you, since she has proved she's good at lying. I personally would dump her before she could make a fool out of me.
D-Lish Posted July 3, 2010 Posted July 3, 2010 I wouldn't deny your instincts- they have more credibility than you realize. If something seems off, it probably is off.
Author markRocket Posted July 3, 2010 Author Posted July 3, 2010 So she lied, right? I take it that she told you she would be coming with a friend, and actually said she was at that moment getting READY AT THAT friend's house, but when that friend arrived she had no idea about it? Think about it. What possibly could be a reason to lie about where you were, and then Zach is inexplicably held up at work too? I know what Sherlock Holmes would say... But you don't have proof yet, and she's just gaslight you, since she has proved she's good at lying. I personally would dump her before she could make a fool out of me. Thats what i was thinking. She's just never had any problems or fights with any of her own girlfriends and she's a genuinely nice, honest girl who has never lied to me in the past. I guess thats why this is so hard to wrap my head around.
Ilovehim Posted July 3, 2010 Posted July 3, 2010 Wow! Why are you tolerating all this BS? There are a few things I have a problem with, and no, I do not think "this is all in your head". Something definetely seems fishy here. First, no matter how much she had to drink, she shoudl NOT be sitting on your best friend's lap. I would have a talk with her about that. Second, as someone already said, funny she picked HIS lap to sit on when she was drunk. Third, why haven't you confronted her about her lying to you? Regardless of who she was with, SHE LIED! Why? Because she wasn't with the person whom she claimed to be with. And fourth, you are tolerating too much BS, lowering your standards and allowing some chick to disrespect you whether you see it or not. If any of this were to happen with me and my boyfriend, we have the type of relationship where I can express my concerns to him, no matter what. So I hope you have the same thing. Even IF NOTHING were to be going on between them, her behavior is still very disrespectful & you don't have to deal with her s%43
ALombard Posted July 4, 2010 Posted July 4, 2010 Mark I am going to be straight up honest with you. Trust your gut! I had the same situation with my ex a few times in our relationship. First time was when we lived together, she started hanging out with a mutual friend of ours a lot. Acted the same way with him at parties as your GF is with your buddy. They started hanging out a lot because I let it slide. Well during our first break up I find out from our mutual friend that she had made out with him a few times. Second time was when she moved out, I would go visit her and she would always be touchy with this one guy. Found out when we went on a break that she had cheated on me. I could go on but you get the point. I am not saying that your girlfriend is anything like the attention craving slut that my ex was/is but each time I had a suspicion about her doing something and I had that feeling in my gut it was always right. My advice talk to her, don't accuse her just talk to her and let her know that the way she acts around your buddy makes you uncomfortable. If she isn't doing anything with him she should understanding and stop acting that way towards him. If she gets, angry, defensive, or says anything like "don't worry about it, nothing is happening" then I would just leave especially if she keeps doing what she's doing.
Curious-One Posted July 4, 2010 Posted July 4, 2010 Does she even hug you every time she sees you ??? Sitting on his lap hugging lol?? WTF , who cares if she had too much to drink.. so if she was having sex with him at that time, you would say she was just drunk, nothing is going on. I say dont dump her, use her for sex but look for another girlfriend in the mean time. That is what i would do... cheat on her any chance you get. Normally i wouldnt do this but this girl is straight disrespecting you
Author markRocket Posted July 4, 2010 Author Posted July 4, 2010 Mark I am going to be straight up honest with you. Trust your gut! I had the same situation with my ex a few times in our relationship. First time was when we lived together, she started hanging out with a mutual friend of ours a lot. Acted the same way with him at parties as your GF is with your buddy. They started hanging out a lot because I let it slide. Well during our first break up I find out from our mutual friend that she had made out with him a few times. Second time was when she moved out, I would go visit her and she would always be touchy with this one guy. Found out when we went on a break that she had cheated on me. I could go on but you get the point. I am not saying that your girlfriend is anything like the attention craving slut that my ex was/is but each time I had a suspicion about her doing something and I had that feeling in my gut it was always right. My advice talk to her, don't accuse her just talk to her and let her know that the way she acts around your buddy makes you uncomfortable. If she isn't doing anything with him she should understanding and stop acting that way towards him. If she gets, angry, defensive, or says anything like "don't worry about it, nothing is happening" then I would just leave especially if she keeps doing what she's doing. i will definitely have to talk to her and see how she reacts for sure. she's not the type to need to be the center of attention, but she's not the type to sit quietly in a corner of a room during a party either, so i guess she possibly could just be doing things like this because zach is so close with all of us and she feels comfortable with him. maybe this is just me trying to think of excuses for her and talk myself out of thinking something is going on. but i do have the feeling that somethings not right, so i'm going to talk to her soon
K2000kidd Posted July 5, 2010 Posted July 5, 2010 "Drunken words reveal the sober heart" Have you ever revealed a crush on a girl when you got drunk, or made out with someone drunk? Sorry to break it to you this way, but her drunken lap session with your friend was something she actually wanted deep down the alcohol simply brought her feelings to the surface tread carefully friend
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