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Fellas... Bringing another woman into the bedroom. What's your stance?

Jack & Coke

By Jack & Coke
in Marriage and Life Partnerships

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Jack & Coke Established Member

Jack & Coke

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Many hetero women I've found are curious about having some kind of sexual contact with another woman. My question to the husbands who have a wife with even the slightest curiosity is, what are your groundrules and how far are you willing to go?

 

And if you've had a threesome or some kind of play with another woman in the bedroom, what was the outcome? It's an interesting topic to me since most men (myself included) wouldn't entertain the idea of another man.

 

As far as my situation goes, the jury is still out on how I'd feel about another woman but I'm not going to lie, I wonder about it sometimes. The closest I've been (which isn't close at all, lol) with the wife is a three-way kiss with her and one of her girlfriends. It was more drunken playfulness than anything and wasn't like making out.

 

But anyway, discuss!

mem11363 Established Member

mem11363

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Jack,

Every red blooded man I know has given this topic some thought. Most generally find the statistics on swinging and divorce to be frightening.

 

If you open the door to a girl, girl, guy scenario are you inadvertently opening the door for your W to ask/demand at some future point either a guy, guy, girl scenario or simply her own private girl / guy session without you present?

 

Do you actually think you will be able to hold the line in the future and prevent that outcome AND prevent her feeling resentful that you are not agreeable to an "even trade"?

 

If so is that because you are married to someone who is more "bi" than average or is it because you have the emotional upper hand in your marriage to a degree I have rarely seen?

 

 

Many hetero women I've found are curious about having some kind of sexual contact with another woman. My question to the husbands who have a wife with even the slightest curiosity is, what are your groundrules and how far are you willing to go?

 

And if you've had a threesome or some kind of play with another woman in the bedroom, what was the outcome? It's an interesting topic to me since most men (myself included) wouldn't entertain the idea of another man.

 

As far as my situation goes, the jury is still out on how I'd feel about another woman but I'm not going to lie, I wonder about it sometimes. The closest I've been (which isn't close at all, lol) with the wife is a three-way kiss with her and one of her girlfriends. It was more drunken playfulness than anything and wasn't like making out.

 

But anyway, discuss!

Feelin Frisky Established Member

Feelin Frisky

Posted
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I wouldn't want my wife (which I don't have anyway) to be involved in that sorta stuff. If I love someone and they love me back, it's a bond.

 

I had a live in relationship with a girl that expressed that desire but she said she just wanted to be eaten by a girl. Yeah, like she said she wouldn't blow me until more time went buy. I could imagine her getting down and eating that other chick's hair pie in a heart beat. I couldn't feel like I could bank on being number one in her life. If I didn't see her as someone seriously committted to me, I might enjoy it. But not if we made vows. That's Russian roulette with your marriage. I don't think I'd even marry someone who expressed that desire to me.

TaraMaiden Established Member

TaraMaiden

Posted
Posted
Fellas... Bringing another woman into the bedroom. What's your stance?

 

Would that be your mother?

 

 

 

No?

 

Then why do it to your SO?

 

Best to cultivate as much respect for her as you have for your mum.

Bringing 'another woman' into the bedroom should engender as much distaste as bring your mother into it would.

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Jack & Coke Established Member

Jack & Coke

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Jack,

Every red blooded man I know has given this topic some thought. Most generally find the statistics on swinging and divorce to be frightening.

 

If you open the door to a girl, girl, guy scenario are you inadvertently opening the door for your W to ask/demand at some future point either a guy, guy, girl scenario or simply her own private girl / guy session without you present?

 

Do you actually think you will be able to hold the line in the future and prevent that outcome AND prevent her feeling resentful that you are not agreeable to an "even trade"?

 

If so is that because you are married to someone who is more "bi" than average or is it because you have the emotional upper hand in your marriage to a degree I have rarely seen?

 

 

Yeah, those are the thoughts that keep me from wanting to pursue it. It's never come up with us in a serious discussion, I'm just curious to how everyone else feels about it.

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Jack & Coke Established Member

Jack & Coke

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Would that be your mother?

 

 

 

No?

 

Then why do it to your SO?

 

Best to cultivate as much respect for her as you have for your mum.

Bringing 'another woman' into the bedroom should engender as much distaste as bring your mother into it would.

 

 

I feel where you're coming from but I don't get the whole mother correlation. If it were in any other aspect of the relationship I'd be with you but my brain shuts down when mom and sex are put together in the same sentence :laugh:

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Jack & Coke Established Member

Jack & Coke

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And for the record, I'm not asking for me. I'm just wondering everyone's thoughts on the issue. Not sure if I made that clear enough because some of the responses seem like they're answers to me. I'm opening the topic for discussion.

SarahRose Established Member

SarahRose

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What I don't get is why this question is always asked about married couple or people in relationships?

 

Guys, if you want to do this why don't you do this when you are single and before you are married if you want to do it?

 

Why on earth do you wait until you are married or in a relationship to bring it up?

 

Why?

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Jack & Coke Established Member

Jack & Coke

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What I don't get is why this question is always asked about married couple or people in relationships?

 

Guys, if you want to do this why don't you do this when you are single and before you are married if you want to do it?

 

Why on earth do you wait until you are married or in a relationship to bring it up?

 

Why?

 

I just asked because it's the marriage forum and many married people engage in it. Just wanted to see how it's worked out for them thus far.

Shakz Established Member

Shakz

Posted
Posted
If you open the door to a girl, girl, guy scenario are you inadvertently opening the door for your W to ask/demand at some future point either a guy, guy, girl scenario or simply her own private girl / guy session without you present?

 

Do you actually think you will be able to hold the line in the future and prevent that outcome AND prevent her feeling resentful that you are not agreeable to an "even trade"?

 

True. I know from personal experience. Threesomes are a great fantasy and workable with strangers, but with the woman you love? You'd better be pretty damn liberal.

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Jack & Coke Established Member

Jack & Coke

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True. I know from personal experience. Threesomes are a great fantasy and workable with strangers, but with the woman you love? You'd better be pretty damn liberal.

 

Care to elaborate on your personal experience?

Shakz Established Member

Shakz

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Well, one example would be a woman I lived with for three years. After the first two years we began to get a little bored with our sex life. She had always hinted at being bi-curious and so I suggested bringing another woman into our bed. After some initial reluctance she started to warm to the idea and eventually decided who would be our third and how she wanted it to occur. It was a woman we both knew well, and I was a little surprised to learn that she was into it. I was a little more surprised to find out that they really just wanted me to watch. I was fine with that but felt a little disappointed. In the middle of the night I was awakened by our friend wanting to get to know me a little better. My girlfriend woke up while we were going at it and freaked out. They got into a fight and the chick split. After that she was forever wanting to hook up with just me. Subsequently, my girlfriend started cheating on me, although I never knew at first. When I discovered it and confronted her, she said she wanted to bring this guy into our bed. I wasn't about to go for that but probably wouldn't have objected so much if she had'nt been sneaking around behind my back. She said I was a hypocrite, I called her a slut, and we went our separate ways. Basically we just wanted to have sex with someone else. We really didn't want the threesome.

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Jack & Coke Established Member

Jack & Coke

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Well, one example would be a woman I lived with for three years. After the first two years we began to get a little bored with our sex life. She had always hinted at being bi-curious and so I suggested bringing another woman into our bed. After some initial reluctance she started to warm to the idea and eventually decided who would be our third and how she wanted it to occur. It was a woman we both knew well, and I was a little surprised to learn that she was into it. I was a little more surprised to find out that they really just wanted me to watch. I was fine with that but felt a little disappointed. In the middle of the night I was awakened by our friend wanting to get to know me a little better. My girlfriend woke up while we were going at it and freaked out. They got into a fight and the chick split. After that she was forever wanting to hook up with just me. Subsequently, my girlfriend started cheating on me, although I never knew at first. When I discovered it and confronted her, she said she wanted to bring this guy into our bed. I wasn't about to go for that but probably wouldn't have objected so much if she had'nt been sneaking around behind my back. She said I was a hypocrite, I called her a slut, and we went our separate ways. Basically we just wanted to have sex with someone else. We really didn't want the threesome.

 

Ouch. Yeah that sounds messy. I can definitely picture a lot of that playing out.

demrea Established Member

demrea

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id consider it if my wife was into it ... that said, i lol at the thought of her in that situation.

 

i think she would just want to kiss, she doesnt like oral sex. and so what would else would she get dirty with the other girl over? kissing, some toys, mutual master? sounds fun actually (lol)

 

so i see it like this:

 

a) she goes down on the girl and likes it but doesnt start giving me REGULAR oral ... i would be pissed and the relationship damaged

 

b) she goes down on the girl and doesnt like it and in turn is even more unreasonably minded about oral on me and i get even less .... i would be pissed and the relationship damaged

 

i know their are other possible outcomes, and some are even positive, but with that said, while i would be into it ... i wouldnt go for it.

 

and the thought of another man joining our bed doesnt bother me either, until i apply a&b and i come to the same conclusion.

 

i am pretty liberal in my thoughts, my wife is not and i dont think she could handle the fall out so i wouldnt risk it even though id want it.

aerogurl87 Established Member

aerogurl87

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That wouldn't work for me, I'm too selfish to share.

TaraMaiden Established Member

TaraMaiden

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I feel where you're coming from but I don't get the whole mother correlation. If it were in any other aspect of the relationship I'd be with you but my brain shuts down when mom and sex are put together in the same sentence :laugh:

 

That's exactly my point.

Bringing another woman into the bedroom should shut your brain down in exactly the same way.

 

(By the way....how do you think YOU got here? ;))

demrea Established Member

demrea

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That's exactly my point.

Bringing another woman into the bedroom should shut your brain down in exactly the same way.

 

(By the way....how do you think YOU got here? ;))

 

i have to disagree .... although i respect that would be how you feel about it, i think everyone has their own journey in life and if you find another person who also wants that as a chapter in their life story, then its nothing like having your mother in your bed.

JackJack Established Member

JackJack

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I would have to decline. Its not my thing.

crazycatlady Established Member

crazycatlady

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I am amazed at how often this is asked in here. At least once a month if not more often.

 

We do it. Its fun. I've seen it lead to problems, and while we have had our share of problems no matter what anyone else thinks it was not related to the fact that we opened our bed to others. However I think is a little unfair for men to allow another woman and not allow another man. But that's my personal take on it. :o

 

CCL

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