RickG Posted July 2, 2010 Posted July 2, 2010 Ok here we go! I am with a woman but not married and we have been together for 9 years and we have 2 children together and she does not work, I take care of all the bills etc. In the beginning the relationship was great and we had a good thing going however there was few lack of values on her end that I really wanted in a woman but I thought that things will pan out over time but they did not! a few years into the relationship we had some rocky time's but we worked through them and then we ended up having 2 children and three years ago my G/F started to have some depression problem's so I thought she was getting help for it and I would talk about it with her and help her out but as time passed I noticed that she was just getting worst and then she developed a drinking habit so my concern has gotten very high and I noticed that she gradually made the drinking habit a daily event so I confront her about the drinking and she says that she had a drink to help her calm down so I said well why don’t you see a doctor so you can get help for your problem but she does not do that! She continues to drink and drink and drink. So! Her drinking has caused tons of problems for my children and me, for some time she drank till she was FLAT PASSED OUT DRUNK! and I would come home and find my home to be a total mess and my small children unattended and left for hours alone while there mother was passed out drunk so I would come home and be pissed and make her get up and clean the house and then I would complain about her leaving my kids alone while she is passed out drunk, my kids could hurt themselves etc, by then this has become a dangerous situation for my children so I get my sisters to watch my kids during the day while I went to work because my g/f would not get help for herself and since I had something against her drinking and her depression problem only because her problem was effecting the whole household! The problem had got so bad that she had child services in our life and they threatened to take my kids away so basically I had to carry the whole load and take care of my kids, cook, clean, etc. while this is all taking place my G/F starts hanging around this female friend and I thought that maybe it might be a good thing for her and maybe she might shape up so I don’t say anything about her friend, but I find out that her friend is a bad element only making things worst! I find out that my G/F and her friend would have people over my house while I was at work and my kids are at my sisters and she would be sloppy drunk and have guys in my house and smoking pot and all kind of crap so I come home and she was in bed passed out drunk at 5pm and nobody is around so at the time I did not know about the guys being my house and what not, but my friends in the area would drive by my house and see her hanging out on the front porch and in and out of my house. So they called me and told me what was going on. So while all this is taking place I HAD ENOUGH I told her it was over and that I was going to take the kids and get my own place so she retaliates towards me and threaten me with child support and leaving the state etc. so I said I don’t care what you do as long as I know that my kids are safe and taken care of. Because she was still drinking I remained living in the house because I needed to make sure my children were safe and months had passed and I started dating someone else, well long story short on that note. My at the time EX-g/f finds out about this person I am dating and starts causing trouble for me and her and calling my job and trying to get me fired and the girl stuck by me for a while during all this, well my EX-G/f tells me she is pregnant and that it is my baby but I said it can’t be my baby because we have not had sex in months and she says well I am three months along and I said well if your three months along you mean to tell me you been drinking while you’re pregnant! BY THEN I WAS FURIOUS so to put the icing on the cake my ex-g/f runs and tells the girl I was dating that she was pregnant and the girl I was dating finally had enough and left me so here I am stuck with my ex-g/f because she is pregnant and I was very concern that the baby could have alcohol fetal syndrome and I have all these worries about my current children on top of that and I could possibly lose my job because she was harassing my job trying to get me fired. So after she told me she was pregnant she stops drinking totally and starts being a better person to me and my kids and goes to the doctor and gets help etc so things kind of went back to normal but my ex-g/f is driving me insane about the girl I was dating and says I was cheating on her and blah SHE DROVE ME CRAZY FOR 9 MONTHS while she was pregnant and we found out that the baby was a girl and I was happy but sad at the same time because the baby could be damaged and what not! So I was thinking about the situation one day and I was thinking that the baby may not be mine! Because I had no connection with the baby, I am a man that always wanted a little girl and u would think that I would have a connection with the baby while it was in the mother stomach but for some reason I had not kind of connection with her! So times goes by and my mom throws her a baby shower and my whole family is over and congratulating me etc and this whole time I am feeling stupid because I felt like that was not my baby. So the day come when the baby is born and I am in the room when she was giving birth and when the baby came out of the womb I KNEW FROM THE MOMENT I LAYED EYES ON THE BABY THAT THE BABY WAS NOT MINE! The baby was not mine! The baby looked like she had a black daddy! And by then I am SUPER PISSED AND READY TO JUST GO OFF THE DEEP END! I confront her the next day about the baby not being mine and she is still saying the baby was mine and I told her that I wanted a paternity test and I wanted to know who the father was etc. so she come out of the hospital with the baby and she gives me story about how she went to a party with her friend and she passed out at the party because she thinks someone drugged her and she woke up the next morning and she had all her clothes on and whatever and she says she was drugged and raped! I DON’T BUY IT! Anyway I had enough and I want out of this but I am trying to make sure my two children are going to be ok. My life sucks right about now! Anybody have any comments or recommendations? [FONT=Calibri][sIZE=3] [/sIZE][/FONT]
Mimolicious Posted July 2, 2010 Posted July 2, 2010 Whoa, my head is spinning and my heart goes out to you my friend. Get legal help and if you are determined to end this R, seek custody of your kids and offer them a more stable environment. At the end, they are the most important factor here. Good luck!
mark982 Posted July 3, 2010 Posted July 3, 2010 best place for you to tuen to is the lawyers. go for full custody of your 2 kids. you didn't sign the birth papers did you?
spriggig Posted July 3, 2010 Posted July 3, 2010 Because she is the mother of your two kids you NEED legal help to get full custody. Don't even think about just running off with the kids, the law will hunt you down. She has as much as admitted that the third child isn't yours by making up the rape story--after you threatened a paternity test. She might have been surprised that the baby was mixed-race, maybe she thought/hoped the father was one of the white guys. I'm most concerned that she drank while she was pregnant. You haven't said how old either of you are, I'm guessing around 30, which means she has time to get pregnant again and maybe the next baby isn't so lucky. Hopefully she can get some counseling and change her ways before more innocent people get hurt. Stay strong, lean on your true friends and family to get you through this and stay focused on doing what is right for your kids.
cavedweller Posted July 4, 2010 Posted July 4, 2010 RickG, I would contact a lawyer and seek legal advice.
sally4sara Posted July 4, 2010 Posted July 4, 2010 Till any custody issues are decided, you can take your kids to any safe place available to you. You can't kidnap your own kids unless custody has already been decided and she has won custody of them. Start taking pics of the condition of the house, the discarded bottles and cans from her drinking, and if possible, her passed out while the kids are awake. Do you have anyone who has witnessed the events at the house while you are at work? Can they take pics of these people going in and out of the home? You CAN get custody of your kids if you stick to it and gather as much evidence as possible. If she has no job, she can't afford much of an attorney.
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