SemperParatus Posted July 2, 2010 Posted July 2, 2010 My ex and I dated for 11 months straight and then we were off and on for four months after that. She broke up with me almost two months ago. I was so hurt. She started doing her own thing and I started doing mine. So, I got smart a few weeks after our break up and cut off all contact with her. I didn't answer any of her calls or listen to her voicemails. Then... she called my house phone crying about a week or so ago. I talked to her... made her feel better because she would have been there for me. And I realized I had missed her like she missed me. As soon as we got off the phone we started texting and she immediately began flirting with me. I playfully flirted back, but didn't get wrapped up in it. The convo ended. And late that night she called me again around 11 crying. We talked for almost 3 hours and I helped her feel better again. We also made plans to hang out the next day, but they didn't come through because of other things. However, I was thankful. I don't think I was prepared to see her. Anyway, she began texting me first... everyday. Something she hadn't done in the past after our break up. She always tells me stories about what's going on in her life. She always assures me there is nothing romantically going on with anyone she hangs out with, even though I don't ask. I hear things from her about how she tells people she misses me, our fun times together, a ton of things like that. Sometimes when we talk she throws in little things like "if you were to ever get with me again", "it was so great when I was with you", and "I was beyond lucky to have you". She calls me a few nights out of the week and we talk until really late or we text until 1 or 2 in the morning. She always tells me she loves me in a really sweet way, and there hasn't been a day yet where she hasn't contacted me. This is where things get confusing. I wanted a clean cut understanding of where we stood, and in my opinion, I thought we were just friends. So, I asked her if we were friends now, and she flat out told me no. She said I could never be her friend, and she could never treat me or see me as a friend. According to her... I am so much more "special"; I am above a friend. Then she said, but I don't want you to say I am trying to confuse you so we aren't dating. I immediately blurted out that I didn't want to date her anyway... which wasn't true, I was just doing my best to protect my feelings. I immediately regretted this though because she sounded so hurt and even told me not to say that anymore because I had hurt her feelings. So, I tried to fix it by explaining that I was glad we have had our space and time to ourselves, and dating isn't the best thing for us now anyway. We haven't talked about that since then. Now, the other day she surprised me by showing up at the park on one of the activity nights she knew I would be at. I had invited her and she pretended like she wasn't coming, but then... there she was. We hung out most of the night. We laughed, flirted, hugged a ton, kind of held hands, and had an amazing time. She even did all of this in front of two of her best friends, showing me she wasn't hiding anything. Around 1 that morning she texted me talking about how good it was to see me. I had agreed and we texted a little bit, but we were both exhausted so we went to bed. That next day I texted her first because... I just felt like it. And she laughed at me and said it was about time. We didn't talk for long though... she plays a sport and had a game that night. So, basically after we hung out... we have barely talked. I know she is the type of girl that needs space sometimes, but I can't help but wonder if I was a fool in this whole thing. I'm very unsure. I thought we were on our way to reconciliation possibly. Now, I've been second guessing everything and thinking way too much about this. I don't even want to look at my phone because of the possible disappointment of not hearing from her. Any Advice?
oceanic Posted July 2, 2010 Posted July 2, 2010 hey man, you replied to my topic with your take on things so i thought i would reply to yours. The way i see it she doesnt know exactly what she wants. I would keep up what you're doing and just go with the flow and see where things end up. I would try not to get your hopes up though as she will see this a mile away and you'll just leave yourself wide open for some more heartbreak. Just make it clear you're open to work on the problems that you two had and let her come to you.
Author SemperParatus Posted July 2, 2010 Author Posted July 2, 2010 Yeah, you are right. I shouldn't get my hopes up... even though I already have. I guess I can continue doing what I am doing, but I'm a bit too nervous to just come out and ask if we can start dating again or perhaps get on the right track for reconciliation. I just don't really want to be rejected. She did tell me though... she never wanted me out of her life. So I guess that could be a good thing. Thanks for you advice. I appreciate it.
whatadeer26 Posted July 2, 2010 Posted July 2, 2010 I really hope what you truly want comes true. I think she doesn't know what you want and is trying to get back into your life to see if that is what she wants. It sucks, but I would keep my guard up and protect yourself first. She seems confused.
Author SemperParatus Posted July 3, 2010 Author Posted July 3, 2010 Yeah, we are hanging out today actually. Going to go swimming... it was her choice. Yesterday after posting this thread she had called me a little later and we talked for almost two hours and she began to read a note that I had written to her a while back. And she asked me to pull out some of my old notes she had written me and read them to her. I did, and it almost overwhelmed me with memories and just good times. So, either my ex is just playing me like a puppet and I am in for a great disappointment or... she is sincere and ready to move forward with me. I will have to see how it goes!
ahashakeheartbreak Posted July 3, 2010 Posted July 3, 2010 Good luck! (: Have a good time. I wish so much I had the chances that you're having. Just go with the flow, I suppose.
Author SemperParatus Posted July 5, 2010 Author Posted July 5, 2010 Thank you! And well, I did go with the flow. It was me, her and some of our friends. We all went swimming and just had a good time. However, there was no break through... nothing exactly spectacular happened. But it was just her and I hanging out at first. We were laying on beach chairs. She was on her stomach and I was on my back. She draped her arm over my chest at one point and I kind of just laid my hand on top of hers for a second. And one time we even kind of held hands in this... really sweet way. The last thing that I would consider "special" was she took a picture of us on my phone and she set it as my background and told me not to change it. This all happened yesterday. I haven't spoken to her any today, considering it is a holiday and I don't want to seem all clingy. I just want to know am I possibly over analyzing this? Is it possible that she is just messing with me? I can't seem to figure it out. lol.
pratik Posted July 5, 2010 Posted July 5, 2010 Hey man, Listen just be careful before you get your hopes up. I dont mean to hurt u or anything i kinda i have another version of the tail. My ex did the same thing said she wanted a break and then we were just like you two. We were best friends hanged out hugged, kissed and all. It was like we had never broken. And then out of the blue one day she told she wanted to break it completely. I went NC. Later a month down the line i like a fool broke it she told she slept with some guy 8yrs older to her with one of her cousins friends. She had started smoking and drinking. Later i found out from one of her friends that she might have started doping too. And she was never like this she just changed. So please take it as an advice and ask her straight out whether she wants to date you or no. Look no offences to you or your ex maybe she just playing with you or keeping you in the back pocket. So just ask whether she wants to date you or no. If she says no please move on. Its not worth it. I hope she doesnt do what my ex did. All the best:)
oceanic Posted July 5, 2010 Posted July 5, 2010 hmm, well to me it does sound promising. I would just keep doing what you're doing and going with the flow for a couple of weeks and then maybe have a chat about what her intentions are. You dont want to be the guy she knows she can have and kept on the back burner for when she needs you, but you also dont want to rush into anything too soon either. to summarize: Keep doing what you're doing and let her make some moves for a while. Then ask where its going and what the story is.
Recommended Posts