What would you think of this date?

[Loquacious Miss L.]

So I went on a date today.

 

I saw this guy's ad on Plenty of Fish that seemed cool. I thought he was absolutely gorgeous. His ad said to find him on Facebook and I did. We started emailing basic stuff back and forth and then he asked me if I could call him or he could call me. So I emailed my number and he called. We have been talking for a few days, but what I always found odd is that never asked anything about me. I told him I am not naturally forthcoming with information, like "ready, set, go," and then babbling all about me. He talks about himself though and I might have something to add or a similar story to add to his. But he doesn't really ask about me. So yesterday he asks me if I want to go out.

 

We meet at Starbucks. Of course, he's gorgeous. Of course, I was all nerves because it was a first date and such and I was definitely not turned off by him at that point.

 

So we have ok conversation. Which entails me asking all about him. I asked him, "Do you have any questions for me?" to which he responds, "No, not really." and when I would be quiet he would say, "You must be bored," or, "I thought you said you were a chatty Cathy," and honestly I was nervous around him and didn't know what to say. I told him a few times that I don't just offer any kind of info right out the gate...meaning I don't tell my major business. We talked about family, etc. He's divorced. He also tells me that he is "abrasive," and then cites examples of how, ie, one time his ex wife asked him if an outfit made her look fat and he replies, "No, your fat makes you look fat," and how when he's met girls online if he drives up and they're unattractive he just keeps driving. He then says something about how he knows he's self absorbed to which I responded, "You seem sort of egotistical." I couldn't help it.

 

End of the date, he walks me to my car. Gives me a hug and we pause for a minute. So he says, "Well I better stop it right there," as opposed to kissing me. And then says, "Let me know if you wanna hang out again," to which I responded, "That would be cool," because at that precise moment I was distracted by his hotness, honestly.

 

So I get home and I text him, thanks for the coffee, and by the way, sweet ride! (he had some sort of refurbished VW bug.) to which he responded, "Thanks." After that I said something cute like, "By the way, I was tongue tied, which is just swell!" to which he responded....nothing.

 

I was really put off by him, just had to vent. Dating sucks.

[Oliveman]

Yikes he sounds like a dick! But sometimes guys act that way because they're trying to seem tough or something when they first meet you. Don't ask me we they do this, but we do. I think for some people it's a defense mechanism because they're shy and don't want the girl to know. Also some guys have a problem opening up right away. Obviously he could just be a conceited prick, but I guess you'll never really know unless you go out with him again. What do you have to lose? Just don't be afraid of the silence and feel like you have to make a lot of small talk...if he doesn't talk for a while just don't talk. Either he'll start talking, or you'll sit there in awkward silence, but either way you'll learn something about who he really is.

[pantherj]

Sounds like he didn't like your personality, and you didn't like his. Such is life.

[Gero]

I don't get how you were put off by him? It sounded like you were enamored by him (even though he was acting like a jerk) up until the point that he didn't respond to you.

 

From what I gather here, it just seems like you are putting too much emphasis on looks and completely ignoring the personality of a guy.

[Diezel]

Ahhh women.

 

He's incompatible, but all is forgiven because he's hot and has a "sweet ride". She's put off by him, but would date him again in a heartbeat if he asked.

 

Wanna bet the next meeting is at his place?

[Morals]

Ahhh women.

 

He's incompatible, but all is forgiven because he's hot and has a "sweet ride". She's put off by him, but would date him again in a heartbeat if he asked.

 

Wanna bet the next meeting is at his place?

 

I was thinking the same thing. "All is forgiven because your body is hot and you got a sweet car"...

 

I bet "sweet ride" is the only thing he'll be thinking next time you two hang out, (in his bed!) haha.

[Loquacious Miss L.]

I was trying to give him a compliment. I thought he was attractive until he kept going on and on about himself. I didn't find our personalities to be compatible at all. It wasnt till after we left that I started feeling bad about how it went. I don't think it's fair to assess that I was just in it for his looks, I was trying to see if we had anything in common and was quiet because I didn't know what to say. To infer I would sleep with him is not fair. He had hinted about going to his place and I turned him down.

[sultry33]

I had a date like this once.. He looked like Ryan Giggs.. I was kinda spell bound by his looks but boy his personality sucked.

I could have slept with him and when I turned him down he changed into a d head.

Good escape.

 

I think your date showed you that hot on the outside.. cold on the inside.. next

 

dont let it put you off, he was not asking anything about you as it seemed to be all about him.

[make me believe]

Ahh, yeah, I used to know a guy similar to this. He was a doctor and absolutely GORGEOUS, totally drop-dead, but his personality blewww. The comments that guy said about driving away if the girl isn't attractive enough sound exactly like something my doctor guy would say. Part of me felt special that I was "good enough" or hot enough for him when so many other girls weren't, but I was young & dumb! Now I know better and would never get involved with such a douche.

[Loquacious Miss L.]

Thanks ladies, that makes me feel better.

[SilentVoice]

I can't get over the irony of your name in correspondence to this post . lol

But he sounds like a dick trying to get you to bed. Don't worry the best of us slip up for ones like this from time to time. Just don't fall :-)

[Loquacious Miss L.]

Thanks, I appreciate the support. And the irony is funny, isn't it.

[Serenitynow]

I thought he was attractive until he kept going on and on about himself. I didn't find our personalities to be compatible at all.

 

Then why the hell did you text him when you got home ?

 

And why tell him sweet ride if you knew you werent compatible ?

 

If you were totally put off by him, do you think you should be texting him after the date ?

 

Why am I the only one that noticed this ?

 

 

.

[gamma1]

Then why the hell did you text him when you got home ?

 

And why tell him sweet ride if you knew you werent compatible ?

 

If you were totally put off by him, do you think you should be texting him after the date ?

 

Why am I the only one that noticed this ?

I was wondering the same thing. Women have no problem sending me cold and firm texts or emails saying they don't want another date.

 

It seems like when the guy is hot that he usually gets treated better. It's not your imagination.

[Loquacious Miss L.]

I admit that was kinda dumb of me. I think I was distracted by the fact I was physically attracted to him initially. But as the hours passed after the date, I really realized it was a mistake that I had contacted him at all. I stand corrected. My baaad.

[Feelin Frisky]

So I went on a date today.

 

I saw this guy's ad on Plenty of Fish that seemed cool. I thought he was absolutely gorgeous. His ad said to find him on Facebook and I did. We started emailing basic stuff back and forth and then he asked me if I could call him or he could call me. So I emailed my number and he called. We have been talking for a few days, but what I always found odd is that never asked anything about me. I told him I am not naturally forthcoming with information, like "ready, set, go," and then babbling all about me. He talks about himself though and I might have something to add or a similar story to add to his. But he doesn't really ask about me. So yesterday he asks me if I want to go out.

 

We meet at Starbucks. Of course, he's gorgeous. Of course, I was all nerves because it was a first date and such and I was definitely not turned off by him at that point.

 

So we have ok conversation. Which entails me asking all about him. I asked him, "Do you have any questions for me?" to which he responds, "No, not really." and when I would be quiet he would say, "You must be bored," or, "I thought you said you were a chatty Cathy," and honestly I was nervous around him and didn't know what to say. I told him a few times that I don't just offer any kind of info right out the gate...meaning I don't tell my major business. We talked about family, etc. He's divorced. He also tells me that he is "abrasive," and then cites examples of how, ie, one time his ex wife asked him if an outfit made her look fat and he replies, "No, your fat makes you look fat," and how when he's met girls online if he drives up and they're unattractive he just keeps driving. He then says something about how he knows he's self absorbed to which I responded, "You seem sort of egotistical." I couldn't help it.

 

End of the date, he walks me to my car. Gives me a hug and we pause for a minute. So he says, "Well I better stop it right there," as opposed to kissing me. And then says, "Let me know if you wanna hang out again," to which I responded, "That would be cool," because at that precise moment I was distracted by his hotness, honestly.

 

So I get home and I text him, thanks for the coffee, and by the way, sweet ride! (he had some sort of refurbished VW bug.) to which he responded, "Thanks." After that I said something cute like, "By the way, I was tongue tied, which is just swell!" to which he responded....nothing.

 

I was really put off by him, just had to vent. Dating sucks.

 

You absolutely must see the movie "The Ugly Truth" with Catherine Heigel and Gerard Butler. The guy you described is exactly what the Gerard Butler character tries to teach the Catherine Heigel character about men. It's gross generalization but often true. Two of his advice points were that men really don't connect with a lot of female blather early on, they are sizing you up as a love interest or sex object. Second, the woman should never criticize the man. She can think ill of him and write him off but for crissake don't bluntly tell him he's egotistical based upon what little you've heard. That's a death sentence-a cock hammer.

 

I was messing around a bit with a girl earlier this year. She started making these judgements that I felt were ridiculous--like telling me I don't drive my car which has a stick shift "right". She hasn't an effing clue, doesn't drive and I have had three other sports cars with sticks in my life and never had to replace a clutch or tranny. When I would talk about what I liked: like saying Cocoa Lopez makes for the absolute best Pina Colada (versus Coco Goya etc), she would bluntly say "you're picky". First, you bet yer azz I'm "picky" but I like to think of it as discerning (plus it was just conversation and we weren't even having Pina Coladas).

 

I got absolutely turned off by her damn criticisms. That means she has no savoire fare (sensitivity and classy manner of implying things without making all-encompassing bluntly stated judgements). Syonara to her and good riddance.

[Loquacious Miss L.]

You have a few good points. Normally I'm not "judgmental" like that but after an hour and a half of him talking just about himself, his views on women and how he just will drive away if from a distance the woman is unattractive, his comments about his ex wife, his critique of me and how I wasn't talkative enough, his full admittal that he knows he's self absorbed, I agreed with him that he was. It was after he made that comment about himself and his full knowledge that he was "abrasive and didn't care about what others thought of him," it kind of slipped out. Yes, I was swayed initially by my attraction physically to him, but it became apparent that he was indeed full of himself which by that point I had several examples to draw from. Normally I wouldn't say anything like that because I think that's rude but it kinda slipped.

[Loquacious Miss L.]

Good point. It probably should just be that simple.

[Shakz]

Good point. It probably should just be that simple.

 

Besides too, LML, a refurbished VW isn't a sweet ride. It's a heap.

[kiss_andmakeup]

Reading through your post, when you came to the part where he said "Let me know if you want to hang out again," I was crossing my fingers and hoping to god that your response would be "Yeah, thanks but no thanks, you're kind of a douche."

 

Seriously, he sounds like a douche. Don't text him again since he obviously doesn't need the ego boost. Though I do hope he texts you again or asks you out on another date, just so you can shoot him down.

 

Alright, that's enough, my evil side is getting the best of me!

[newdawn]

Some who are very good looking depend on this and neglect to develop positive qualities like kindness, compassion, selflessness etc.

 

As far as texting after the date, maybe OP was just being polite. Some people are still polite, and like to have a little closure after the date.

 

He sounds like a miserably self-centered person.

 

Next.

[Loquacious Miss L.]

I was being nice in thanking him and such, to which I got no response except, "Thanks." I will not be texting him or calling him or anything. This date left a yuck taste in my mouth. Good point about the VW.

[Ariadne]

What would you think of this date?

 

That the guy was doing you a favor by sitting there with you and not bailing out sooner.

 

He was probably using that time to make nasty comments about women's attractiveness to tell in a way you were not attractive enough (like those).

 

I doubt you'll hear again.

[that girl]

OP- don't apologize for criticizing him. It is iffy to complain about someone's driving, even when they are driving dangerously it is hard to not offend.

 

But you're complaining on a message board about a guy who told you he stands up unattractive girls and told his ex wife she was fat. I think would have been justified calling him a jerk to his face, nevermind on a message board.

 

I assumed reading the post you had no intention of seeing him again and just texted to be polite. If you are thinking of seeing him, the only option is really no strings attached sex. You'd be an idiot to actually date him.

[Loquacious Miss L.]

He may have been "doing me a favor," by sitting there with me but I wasn't impressed. I am confident enough in my appearance to know he wouldn't have been disappointed. If he found me unattractive upon sight, according to him he would have immediately bailed. I don't want to, and won't see him again. He would be doing ME a favor by not calling or asking me out again. Who needs a douche like that?