bluz73 Posted July 2, 2010 Posted July 2, 2010 (edited) I have been suffering silently for too long, and the only person I could open up to and trust is my 16 year old daughter and she just made me feel 10 times worse. She knew of him since she was 8 years old. He treated her well. As time went by and she got older she kept telling me how i was too good for him ect... Not having him isnt the pain I am feeling its WHO he chose to be with..a teenager 2 years older than my daughter. I tried to explain this to my daughter and she yells at me and never has a nice thing to say to comfort me, I feel so lost and alone. Last night she went to the movies to see ECLIPSE with her 17 yr old brother and HE(my ex) was there with HER and her 17 year old best friend with whom my kids go to high school with..(how weird is that?) (yeah a grown man at a teen movie) So she proceeds to tell me that the girl was kissing him and front of her and that she wasnt ugly she was pretty for a 18 year old..wow that made me feel great! She was so cruel to me when she said it, I never thought my own flesh and blood could make me feel so low. I never said she was ugly but she is just a cute kid nothing like I imagined his type..I am not saying I am perfect but, I can turn heads I am a grown woman with sex appeal. She to me isnt even develpoed as a woman and it makes me cringe that he would look at her like that. So needless to say my daughter made me feel worse andmade me cry all over again. I feel numb towards him, like if i saw him and he came up to me on the street, i would just turn and walk away with dignity. I came to terms with he is my past and I would never relive that ever again. After 8 months of NC on his part, I realize he never truly loved me, I was just passing time for 6 years until he could find a niave teen girl to make him feel like a man. I have no support and I am ready to move on so much I am moving 1 hour away to a different city this month so i dont have to run into them I just needed to have someone support me tonight, and tell me I am not crazy for being hurt over my own child telling me these things I didnt expect to hear. Edited July 2, 2010 by bluz73
Author bluz73 Posted July 2, 2010 Author Posted July 2, 2010 WOW not a response all night from LS...I feel truly disappointed nobody knows where I am coming from...I guess i will continue to be lost
worlybear Posted July 2, 2010 Posted July 2, 2010 No you are not crazy- children can be incredibly cruel and unfeeling. I'm so sorry that you are struggling- its not easy being a parent and children ALWAYS make you feel it's your fault. I totally understand how you feel- my ex is with a woman who is not much older than my eldest son and it is very hard to accept as it makes me question what my ex and I really had. I think we are programmed to look after our kids to such an extent that we allow them to treat us badly- its the "oh it's only Mum Syndrome." Over the years the habit of ignoring our needs and feelings becomes embedded and we don't usually notice it as we are too busy looking after everyone else. It comes as a terrific shock to find that when we need it ,there is no support forthcoming. Could it be that your daughter is using cruel words because she's not sure how to cope with you and is taking refuge in anger? Just a thought. Have you any friends/counsellors you can contact? It may be helpful to talk to someone who can chat objectively. Meanwhile big hugs:bunny::bunny:
LoveTruthChaos Posted July 2, 2010 Posted July 2, 2010 I ****ing miss her so much just ****ing kill me. Then who's gonna kill me?
spriggig Posted July 2, 2010 Posted July 2, 2010 I am feeling its WHO he chose to be with..a teenager 2 years older than my daughter. How is this relevant to your life at all? It's not. You can move as far away as you want, and that might help a little, but you can't run from yourself. Look forward to that time when seeing your ex with anyone, let alone some brain-dead girl half his age (it won't last very long, BTW), will mean nothing to you. You know you'll get there eventually, so take steps in that direction now. When you catch yourself thinking about him--going over the same hurt feelings again and again just re-enforces those mental pathways in your brain--mentally slap yourself and say "No!, That doesn't matter to me anymore." Do that as often as you need to, over and over again if you must and go to a movie, read a book, or go for a walk. ANYTHING to avoid thinking the thoughts that are holding you back.
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