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Married 20 years, Divorced for 1...is she ready?


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Posted

I hear some rule of thumb, that for every year you've been married it takes X amount of years to "get over the marriage"

 

Is there some truth to this statement?

 

I met a woman, she was 20 year marriage veteran, signed the divorce papers last year, and hasn't started dating 'till just now

 

Should a year be long enough to "get over" a marriage?

Posted

I can think of many situations where a healthy marriage started as a rebound. And plenty of counter examples, where a relationship that started in "ideal" circumstances turned out bad.

 

If your special lady was married for over 20 years, I would suppose she's in her forties, in which case people don't have years to waste anymore.

 

She could be a flake, or she could be the one. The only way to tell is to give it a shot.

 

All the best.

 

Guy

Posted

Dude, you ask questions for every little detail... need me to hold your hand while you try to date her?

Posted

Dude, there is no set formula for this and I would say go for it. Marriages are usually long over before people even contemplate divorce. She might have already gotten over her previous partner at least 3 years before they split. At times we never know whether or not we are ready to move on until we meet that very special woman. Hopefully in her 40s or 50s she should be out of these dating head games.

Posted

I don't see what the problem is here. You're just going to start dating, so why are you worried about whether she is over the marriage or not. It's not like you two are going to jump into marriage when she might be attached to her ex. You're just dating now. Don't worry about it.

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