Elpida Posted July 1, 2010 Posted July 1, 2010 (edited) I really like this guy... I am in love with him... I thought he liked me too. And we had that amazing physical chemistry. He was hitting on me, flirting with me and I could not resist. We slept together 3 or 4 times. It was perfect. During first few weeks he was sending me messages/ invites for coffee/ etc. Then messages almost disappeared. I would get few before we meet, and then he goes almost NC again. I sent him few messages asking how he was/ if he wanted to meet. Couple of them were unanswered. I do not know how to behave, what to do. I am afraid I slept with him too quickly and he lost interest. I am afraid he thinks I am "easy"... How to get him back?!? I am afraid sending more messages would scare him off. But then if he sends me an invite I know I will not be able to resist him. We have common friends so we see each other couple of times per week but we agreed we would act like we are just friends. Should I be flirty with him, act like I am not hurt, smile and not push him? Or should I distance myself from him, flirt with others, and try to make him jealous, and myself un-available? How to get his interest back? Please help! This is first guy I really like since very painful break up with my ex-fiancée 1.5 years ago and I am completely out of practice, and so much afraid to be hurt again... Thank you! Edited July 1, 2010 by Elpida
Cracker Jack Posted July 2, 2010 Posted July 2, 2010 I think the best thing to do right now is to not contact him like you mentioned. If he does get in contact with you, though, you're gonna have to learn to resist to some extent. Not saying you can't hang with him, but if you constantly give him sex, he'll just continue to look at you as someone who's "easy", and only worth calling when he wants something.
Diezel Posted July 2, 2010 Posted July 2, 2010 I am afraid he thinks I am "easy"... How to get him back?!? No, you're just afraid of realizing the truth that you just... *gasp*... might be too easy. It's okay, women like sex too. It's not SUCH a bad thing to admit it, but the fact that you gave it up and then continued to do so EVERY single time that he asks you out... points towards that general direction. But this is EASY to remedy. Start being a little more difficult to grab a date with, and he'll start appreciating a little more the time he spends with you. That, or he'll ditch you altogether. Either way, you'll surely have the answer you need a lot quicker than if you keep putting up with this garbage of a situation. You want respect, earn respect. BTW, he doesn't think you are too "easy". That's a myth. There's just no CHALLENGE, that's something different altogether. He needs the hunt, give him a hunt. Stop texting him, let him come to YOU.
Author Elpida Posted July 2, 2010 Author Posted July 2, 2010 Thank you very much for your advice! Is there any sense of confronting him and asking what is wrong please? If so, is it better to do so by sms or in person? I just really dislike not knowing what is happening... Thank you....
LSNoob Posted July 2, 2010 Posted July 2, 2010 Just the fact you are thinking about being "easy" shows that you are not that type of girl, the "easy" one. Look, you love that guy and you have feelings for him, and sex feels good. So what's wrong with doing something that makes you feel good with the person you love? Maybe you rushed things just a little bit. But that's ok, no problem. All you have to do now is just slow down a bit and let him do the chasing. Show him that you are not just a late night booty call. Show him that you love him and have feelings for him and that you want to get together with him. He shouldn't be behaving like this, going no contact and all, that's just rude of him. If he turns out to be a jerk and just in it for the sex, then you should be happy that you didn't start a relationship with a jerk. Lastly but not least, please go easy on yourself. Don't take it too serious, you just met the guy. First know the person if he is really worth the hurting and tears. You don't need to keep hurting your self like this. I understand its love, but don't you love yourself? Wish you the best.
Diezel Posted July 2, 2010 Posted July 2, 2010 Thank you very much for your advice! Is there any sense of confronting him and asking what is wrong please? If so, is it better to do so by sms or in person? I just really dislike not knowing what is happening... Thank you.... Do NOT confront him with this. It'll only serve to corner him and he WILL get defensive. What you do is start withdrawing very slowly. Turn him down ONCE for a date, don't pick up ONE phone call. Make him WONDER. A man wants what is a challenge, what he can't have... And once you start becoming scarce, he'll either want you more or just stop trying. Either way, you get an answer geared towards one side of the dating spectrum that'll give you a clear answer. You don't tell him ANYTHING. The last poster told you to show him love, but isn't that what you've already been doing? And where has that gotten you? Now, do the OPPOSITE. Be scarce. I hate games, but if he wants to play games, then GAME ON.
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