Mandapanda Posted July 1, 2010 Posted July 1, 2010 I've been married for two years. When my husband married me he knew I was bi-sexual Well, its been two long years and I have missed the touch of a woman. More so, missed touching one I met a girl I'm very much into; she's also married Her husband was fine with it When I brought it up to my husband... He said no, it is cheating If he knew I was bi when we got married he must have known I wasn't satisfied with just one sex. Its not something he has....he doesn't have the body parts on a woman I long for I think he's being selfish....am I wrong?
Gero Posted July 1, 2010 Posted July 1, 2010 Marriage is supposed to be between two people. If one person in the relationship doesn't want to bring another person into the relationship then you have to right to force them into doing it. That's why you get married because you want to be with that person alone. If it's something that you really want then there is no reason not to discuss it with him, but using the excuse that he knew you were bi before getting married isn't fair. Plus no man or woman wants to hear that they can't satisfy their spouse and there's nothing that they can do because they don't "have the right parts". He's not being selfish. He just wants his wife to himself. That's what being married is about.
sb129 Posted July 1, 2010 Posted July 1, 2010 Didn't you discuss what being bi meant to you both before you got married? I would have thought it was wise to lay all your cards on the table prior to the wedding so that you both knew what you expected of eachother. (And so you both had a chance to speak up if one of you wasn't happy with what the other wanted) It amazes me how some people get married without discussing these kind of issues.
Aveenolover Posted July 1, 2010 Posted July 1, 2010 So if i marry a guy with an average size penis, even though i like average size penises AND large penises, would it be selfish of me to go bone a guy with a huge penis because my husbands penis is only average?
Diezel Posted July 1, 2010 Posted July 1, 2010 He said no, it is cheating If he knew I was bi when we got married he must have known I wasn't satisfied with just one sex. Its not something he has....he doesn't have the body parts on a woman I long for I think he's being selfish....am I wrong? Wow, so just because you are bi, it makes you exempt from being faithful? Are you kidding me? Yes, YOU are being selfish, YOU made an oath to stay faithful to HIM and now you just want to through that away? I wonder if you'd be posting here asking for advice because you thought your husband was cheating on you with another woman, but HEY, it's okay, he's married to a BI woman. Look, if you KNEW you were BI from the get-go and that this situation would happen, WHY DID YOU GET MARRIED? Your sexual orientation is NOT a "Get Free out of Jail" card that you can just throw at his face whenever you feel like you want to get with someone else. He knew you were BI, but he probably thought that once you married him, you'd probably want to just be with HIM and ONLY HIM. Again, yes, YOU are being selfish. If you wanted to have multiple partners, DON'T MARRY.
Maggotface Posted July 2, 2010 Posted July 2, 2010 He does NOT want an open marriage, you should respect his wants. I am bisexual too but I am also monogomous, being bi is no excuse for seeing other people. If it is just the sex with another woman you miss so much maybe bring up the idea of a threesome. I don't know I can't really think of any other advice for this issue.
TaraMaiden Posted July 2, 2010 Posted July 2, 2010 You posted exactly the same question in November. Your husband also has a very low sex-drive, and you're trying for a baby..... Don't you think you should try to establish what your priorities are, exactly, and try to gain some sense in your life, instead of looking for comfort in the arms of another person, first?
Diezel Posted July 2, 2010 Posted July 2, 2010 She's probably posting at another forum that'll actually agree with her. She already made up her mind, she wants to CHEAT on him, she just needs to find like-wise minded people before she does it. Poor guy.
Sanman Posted July 2, 2010 Posted July 2, 2010 This was the issue that I had with my most recent ex (and the big reason she is my ex). This is something you both should have discussed before marriage. As Maggotface pointed out, bisexuality doesn't mean you are automatically polyamorous and want an open marriage. I had the this conversation with my ex and realized that she felt the same way about women as I felt about college co-eds...didn't want a relationship, just sex. To her credit, she was fine with an open relationship going both ways. Personally, I was uneasy with an open relationship for fear of hurting her or getting hurt. What if one of us developed serious feelings from one of these open relationships? Should I just dump her when I "find someone better"? If this is what you want and will not compromise, my suggestion is to talk about an open marriage (both ways) and see if you can make it work of split up with him. However, those who live a polyamorous lifestyle will tell you it is anything but easy. You need to communicate like crazy and jealousy and anger will usually seep in anyway.
SincereOnlineGuy Posted July 5, 2010 Posted July 5, 2010 I've been married for two years. When my husband married me he knew I was bi-sexual Well, its been two long years and I have missed the touch of a woman. More so, missed touching one I met a girl I'm very much into; she's also married Her husband was fine with it When I brought it up to my husband... He said no, it is cheating If he knew I was bi when we got married he must have known I wasn't satisfied with just one sex. Its not something he has....he doesn't have the body parts on a woman I long for I think he's being selfish....am I wrong? Classic stance of someone who basically announced to her mate that at some point she was going to cheat... and who then tried to justify her cheating by saying: "(... but I told you from the start that I was going to cheat, so that makes it OK)". Dumb and dumber
Pfiend101 Posted July 5, 2010 Posted July 5, 2010 Interesting. If I was dating a girl who was BI I wouldnt have a problem with it. Married would be ok... as long as I got to watch.
alyssatranswarrior Posted July 5, 2010 Posted July 5, 2010 I don't understand why you can't just fantasize about women in your own time (masturbation). You can watch porn and w/e else so you dont NEED to feel like running off with a women for real. Other than that, asking him for 3some could be a chance if you make him feel like he can pleasure the girl too. Since he now believes he isn't enough for you, you will need to give him something (ie permission to focus on both you girls in threesomes) so he feels some worth. You can't just have a girl join you two, and you only focus on her or w/e, or only want him to watch. Not equal really.
SilentVoice Posted July 5, 2010 Posted July 5, 2010 This sounds very family to a problem a friend of mine was having. When he got married his wife knew he had a thing for different types of women. Ok..you can full in the rest
xpaperxcutx Posted July 5, 2010 Posted July 5, 2010 Cheating is cheating, it makes no difference what kind of sexual orientation you are.
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