Gero Posted July 1, 2010 Posted July 1, 2010 I met this sweet girl a about 2 weeks ago and I can't really tell where things are going. We spent hours on the phone the first time that we talked and had a great connection. A few days later, I told her that I was going to a friend's house and she said that she was going to be in the area later if I wanted to meet up with her. I said yes and met up with her at around 10PM. We went to a few different places until about 12pm when the place we were at closed. She said that she didn't want to drive because she had a drink. We ended up talking in the car and playing music off each other's iPods until 2am. I'm really shy and awkward in the beginning stages of dating and such because I haven't had a ton of experience and it's been a long time since I kissed a girl so I didn't even attempt to go for a kiss being that it was the first date as well. I just gave her a hug and left. She wanted me to text her when I got home, so I did. We exchanged a few more texts that night before saying goodnight. Over the course of the next few days things were cool. We texted back and forth a lot and talked on the phone once more. That's when I asked her if she wanted to get together again later in the week. She said maybe Thursday if things work out and left it at that. The next day, we exchanged texts again and there was one instance where she randomly said that she was thinking about me. Later on, she asked if I wanted to meet on Wednesday at 3PM to get some sushi and stuff. We met up and things went well. We ended hanging out until 5:30PM when she had a class to attend. She had a speech to do in the class and was nervous about it. I told her not to worry and that she would do fine. I told her to contact me later and tell me how it went. She said I would be the first person she talked to and she ended up calling me at 9PM. We talked for a little bit until I mentioned that I was trying to sleep when she called and she then let me go to get some sleep. I couldn't sleep of course because I kept thinking about her. The thing is that I can't really read her. I don't know if she likes me as much as I like her. I hugged her when we met up and when we left, she hugged me twice. We still haven't kissed and I didn't think the moment was right on the second date so I didn't even go for it. Before we left I asked her about meeting up for the 4th of July. She seemed interested, but wanted to see what her family was doing first. There are so many variables here so I don't know what to think really. She doesn't like driving because she was in a bad wreck and has to use a cane to get around. She doesn't own her car and can only use it when it's available. She has trouble trusting other people driving her. I have told her that I could pick her up. She's not totally into the idea, but seems to be opening up to it more. She's really sweet and sorta old-fashioned as well. She was also engaged just a few years ago and it didn't work. It's hard for me to determine if she is just shy or wants to take it slow or if she just wants to be friends. She is very open and honest and says that she doesn't like playing games, but you never know with women really. Plus add to the fact that I am really bad at reading signs from women. I've talked to some of my friends and they say not to worry. They have also told me the when they thought a chick was playing games with me in the past, so I don't think that they are just being nice. I'm just wondering how I should approach this. I was thinking of going for a kiss the next time that we get together, but at the same time I would feel better if I knew where this whole thing was going. Should I go for a kiss and then ask her where she sees things going afterward or should I ask her where she sees things going and then go for a kiss. I know both options are probably stupid, but I really hate this feeling of not knowing what I am getting myself into. I don't date a lot of girls because I am shy and also have weird standards when it comes to personality. So a lot of times I will be completely turned off of a girl over one personality trait and when I usually find someone that I really like, I tend to really really like them. I really like her and even though it would suck if she just wanted to be friends, I wouldn't mind it because I really care for her deeply. I guess I just want to know where I stand and hate not knowing because all I do is think about it and it's making me crazy and costing me sleep. Any advice would be greatly appreciated.
ALittleWorried Posted July 1, 2010 Posted July 1, 2010 I didn't read the whole post as I'm about to leave the house, but I did get the general idea of it. To begin with, it's only been two weeks. Let things sort themselves out in the next few months. In that time, you'll know her more and you'll be able to make judgements on certain parts of her behaviour. You're looking into things a little too much imo. Do yourself a favour and please don't ask her where you stand. Again, it's too soon. You need to remember that she was once engaged. Things obviously didn't work out for a reason and I doubt she'd want to move into any relationship too quickly. Enjoy her company, take things slow and see where they go. All the best.
Author Gero Posted July 1, 2010 Author Posted July 1, 2010 Thanks. I just worry because I am a nice guy and I tend to get put into the friend zone if I don't make my intentions clear fairly quick. That's mainly what I am worrying about here.
ALittleWorried Posted July 1, 2010 Posted July 1, 2010 Thanks. I just worry because I am a nice guy and I tend to get put into the friend zone if I don't make my intentions clear fairly quick. That's mainly what I am worrying about here. There's nothing wrong with trying to plant a kiss on her the next time you see her. That way, you don't really have to say anything and let your actions speak for you. Again, I'd steer away from the "where do we stand?" conversation for the time being. You don't want to come across as being needy. In the event you're going to attempt kissing her, try to do it at the end of the day / evening right before she leaves. At least that way, IF she pulls away, there'll be no awkwardness as she's leaving anyway
Diezel Posted July 1, 2010 Posted July 1, 2010 Just kiss her already. Before she decides that you are waiting too long to make a move. DO NOT ASK HER WHERE THIS IS HEADED. Nothing turns off a girl more than being asked by a MAN about the status of a "relationship" on a third date. It's clingy, desperate, and needy. The kiss will tell you everything you need to know. BTW, I'd rather live with rejection than with regret. Make a move already.
Cracker Jack Posted July 2, 2010 Posted July 2, 2010 I agree with Diezel's post, completely. You have a general understanding of her, and that's a good key. Just go for the kiss now. If you continue to neglect things, the friend zone is going to probably suck you in.
guy.lepage Posted July 2, 2010 Posted July 2, 2010 Go for dinner, tell her she's beautiful. If she smiles, kiss her. Good luck!
Author Gero Posted July 2, 2010 Author Posted July 2, 2010 I'm making plans with her for this weekend so that's when it will all go down.
pantherj Posted July 2, 2010 Posted July 2, 2010 I met this sweet girl a about 2 weeks ago and I can't really tell where things are going. We spent hours on the phone the first time that we talked and had a great connection. A few days later, I told her that I was going to a friend's house and she said that she was going to be in the area later if I wanted to meet up with her. I said yes and met up with her at around 10PM. We went to a few different places until about 12pm when the place we were at closed. She said that she didn't want to drive because she had a drink. We ended up talking in the car and playing music off each other's iPods until 2am. I'm really shy and awkward in the beginning stages of dating and such because I haven't had a ton of experience and it's been a long time since I kissed a girl so I didn't even attempt to go for a kiss being that it was the first date as well. I just gave her a hug and left. She wanted me to text her when I got home, so I did. We exchanged a few more texts that night before saying goodnight. Over the course of the next few days things were cool. We texted back and forth a lot and talked on the phone once more. That's when I asked her if she wanted to get together again later in the week. She said maybe Thursday if things work out and left it at that. The next day, we exchanged texts again and there was one instance where she randomly said that she was thinking about me. Later on, she asked if I wanted to meet on Wednesday at 3PM to get some sushi and stuff. We met up and things went well. We ended hanging out until 5:30PM when she had a class to attend. She had a speech to do in the class and was nervous about it. I told her not to worry and that she would do fine. I told her to contact me later and tell me how it went. She said I would be the first person she talked to and she ended up calling me at 9PM. We talked for a little bit until I mentioned that I was trying to sleep when she called and she then let me go to get some sleep. I couldn't sleep of course because I kept thinking about her. The thing is that I can't really read her. I don't know if she likes me as much as I like her. I hugged her when we met up and when we left, she hugged me twice. We still haven't kissed and I didn't think the moment was right on the second date so I didn't even go for it. Before we left I asked her about meeting up for the 4th of July. She seemed interested, but wanted to see what her family was doing first. There are so many variables here so I don't know what to think really. She doesn't like driving because she was in a bad wreck and has to use a cane to get around. She doesn't own her car and can only use it when it's available. She has trouble trusting other people driving her. I have told her that I could pick her up. She's not totally into the idea, but seems to be opening up to it more. She's really sweet and sorta old-fashioned as well. She was also engaged just a few years ago and it didn't work. It's hard for me to determine if she is just shy or wants to take it slow or if she just wants to be friends. She is very open and honest and says that she doesn't like playing games, but you never know with women really. Plus add to the fact that I am really bad at reading signs from women. I've talked to some of my friends and they say not to worry. They have also told me the when they thought a chick was playing games with me in the past, so I don't think that they are just being nice. I'm just wondering how I should approach this. I was thinking of going for a kiss the next time that we get together, but at the same time I would feel better if I knew where this whole thing was going. Should I go for a kiss and then ask her where she sees things going afterward or should I ask her where she sees things going and then go for a kiss. I know both options are probably stupid, but I really hate this feeling of not knowing what I am getting myself into. I don't date a lot of girls because I am shy and also have weird standards when it comes to personality. So a lot of times I will be completely turned off of a girl over one personality trait and when I usually find someone that I really like, I tend to really really like them. I really like her and even though it would suck if she just wanted to be friends, I wouldn't mind it because I really care for her deeply. I guess I just want to know where I stand and hate not knowing because all I do is think about it and it's making me crazy and costing me sleep. Any advice would be greatly appreciated. That's an easy question to answer. Kiss her, and DO NOT start up a conversation about "where things are going". Kiss her, make out with her if she's game, end the date. Asking her about where she thinks things are going will probably make you look insecure, and kill the romantic mood. Flirt with her, kiss her, and you're the man. End it at that.
Author Gero Posted July 2, 2010 Author Posted July 2, 2010 Thanks. I know I just think about stuff way too much and I already feel embarrassed by this post. I'm glad I posted this though so that I could be sure that I was being stupid which I was certain that I was.
Diezel Posted July 2, 2010 Posted July 2, 2010 Go for dinner, tell her she's beautiful. If she smiles, kiss her. Good luck! Do NOT do this. Take her somewhere you two can be standing up, facing each other, and close to one another. And please, ANY woman who is told she is beautiful, WILL smile. It doesn't mean there's 100% guaranteed interest. Just kiss the girl before she decides you're not worth her time anymore.
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