aerogurl87 Posted July 1, 2010 Posted July 1, 2010 Tonight while talking to my SO I told him that today was one of those days where I just replayed my visit to him over again in my head all day. I told him that although it made me sad because he wasn't here, it made me happy because it helped me think of what I have to look forward to in the future with him all the time. So he goes on to say that he never thinks about my visit. At first I thought I was hearing him wrong, but he says he never replays in his head what happened while I was there, but does think about our relationship and how it's going now and will be like in the future when we're together, which makes him happy. I don't know how to feel about this. A part of me is happy he thinks of our future and is happy with how our relationship is in the here and now. But another part of me feels a bit sad that he doesn't think back to how our time together was in person (unless I mention something and then he'll reminisce with me for a bit). I don't know, how would anyone else feel if their SO told them this? I'm not completely pissed or feel like our relationship means any less to him, because I know it means alot to him. But at the same time I guess I just feel a little letdown because I thought he thought about our time together like I did.
pandagirl Posted July 2, 2010 Posted July 2, 2010 People just are different. We're not all going to think the same way or react to a situation similarly. When I read your post, I actually realized that I don't replay visits in my head either. Sure, sometimes I'll think about something or a special moment, but it's definitely not something I do regularly. I actually think more about the next visit and what we'll do then! I know my bf probably is the same way, since I am the emotional one of the pair. It's like when I was all sad and missing him and he said something like, "Missing you is a constant, but it doesn't make me sad, because I know I will see you again soon." That totally didn't compute in my head at the time because what I wanted to hear was: "I'm so sad! I miss you, too!" haha. But, that's just the way he is!
Author aerogurl87 Posted July 2, 2010 Author Posted July 2, 2010 I guess your right LisaLee. We talked more today and he was talking about how excited he is for me to be moving up there with him, even if it is temporarily. So I guess we're just different in that aspect. I like to reminisce on the past (comes in handy for daydreaming while at work, lol) and he likes to focus on the present and the future. On a sidenote, it's good to see the forums are back up and running.
Author aerogurl87 Posted July 2, 2010 Author Posted July 2, 2010 I know my bf probably is the same way, since I am the emotional one of the pair. It's like when I was all sad and missing him and he said something like, "Missing you is a constant, but it doesn't make me sad, because I know I will see you again soon." That totally didn't compute in my head at the time because what I wanted to hear was: "I'm so sad! I miss you, too!" haha. But, that's just the way he is! Lol, I'm the same way. My boyfriend is more chill about everything and I can get a bit emotional at times. I'm more likely to start going on about how much I miss him and how I wish he was here, than he is to say that about me. He's more likely to say he misses me and then bring up something he can't wait for us to do together in the future. Every once in awhile he will mention something that we did if I say something that might trigger a memory for him. Like the other day when I told him I was going swimming with my friends and he said "I remember when we went swimming :'(" That did bring a big smile to my face, so I guess I'll just have to remember we're two different people whose minds work differently and express how we feel differently.
sweetjasmine Posted July 2, 2010 Posted July 2, 2010 I don't know, how would anyone else feel if their SO told them this? I'm not completely pissed or feel like our relationship means any less to him, because I know it means alot to him. But at the same time I guess I just feel a little letdown because I thought he thought about our time together like I did. My SO gets a bit distant after we've spent time together and go back to our separate cities. He says he doesn't want to sit around thinking about it and dwelling on how much he misses me so he tries to keep himself busy and focus on other things. That's his way of coping. But even though he doesn't replay visits in his mind (and I don't either, really), he still thinks of me and still remembers things we've done together. From what you wrote in your second post, it sounds like your boyfriend is the same way. He's still thinking of you, but maybe he would rather focus on the future.
Diezel Posted July 2, 2010 Posted July 2, 2010 You're NITPICKING. Stop it. Be worried when he says stuff like: -I don't love you. -I don't want a future with you. -BRB, stripclub. -I'm going out to see my ex, talk to you in a while.
Author aerogurl87 Posted July 2, 2010 Author Posted July 2, 2010 You're NITPICKING. Stop it. Be worried when he says stuff like: -I don't love you. -I don't want a future with you. -BRB, stripclub. -I'm going out to see my ex, talk to you in a while. I guess your right also, Diezel. I need to be happy that he does see a future with me and wants us to be happy together. Ironically enough my ex said all those things except the stripclub bit. :mad:
Author aerogurl87 Posted July 2, 2010 Author Posted July 2, 2010 Your ex-boyfriend sounds like a real winner, Aero. It's a good thing you guys aren't together, anymore. Oh he really was LisaLee. Lied to me about quitting smoking pot, lied to me about going to go hang out with his ex girlfriend at 1 in the morning, tried to have sex with every girl that showed him any sign of attention, called me every name under the sun he could think of when I made him mad, told me if I got pregnant with his child I'd either have to get an abortion or he'd walk out on me, left me for some random woman he'd never met in person the same day he told me he loved me, told me to wait for him while he went to go see what being single was like, told me I'd never amount to anything, and he threatened to shoot me if I came to see him after he broke up with me because I wanted an answer. Yep a real winner indeed.
Author aerogurl87 Posted July 2, 2010 Author Posted July 2, 2010 Well tonight I sent my SO some new pics of myself (his computer is currently messed up so he can't see me on cam). And this is what he sent me after he got them: "I miss you... words cannot describe..." and I told him I missed him too and then he responded with "I know but tonight... I don't know... it brought me to tears." I feel like crying now, ugh! I hate being in a LDR.
JacquesA.LeFrancais Posted July 2, 2010 Posted July 2, 2010 Well tonight I sent my SO some new pics of myself (his computer is currently messed up so he can't see me on cam). And this is what he sent me after he got them: "I miss you... words cannot describe..." and I told him I missed him too and then he responded with "I know but tonight... I don't know... it brought me to tears." I feel like crying now, ugh! I hate being in a LDR. Non, it isn't easy is it. It's very hard. This morning I woke up to my S/O Telling me she was going to bed. =( After not having spoken much yesterday it made me feel like petulant child. I kept it together and didn't whine LOL! But I miss her. Counting down the 12 days till we are together... =/
Author aerogurl87 Posted July 2, 2010 Author Posted July 2, 2010 No Jacques it isn't easy. Congrats to you though as from what I understand your getting married soon.
madjac74 Posted July 4, 2010 Posted July 4, 2010 Hi aerogurl! I just wanted to add that its good that your SO is honest about how he feels even if its not exactly what you want to hear. Id probably have the same reaction as you if my GF said that. I kinda wish I was like him. My GF and I were remembering how we were in each others arms watching fireworks last 4th of July. It made me happy and tingly thinking about how great that night was. However it also made me sad because we couldnt be together this 4th of July. I often get that way when I remember all the times we have spent together (and I remember vividly despite a terrible memory. haha) I get happy and sad. Does that equal sappy? She said something to me that made it all better. "Someday we will be together for every holiday"
hoping2heal Posted July 4, 2010 Posted July 4, 2010 Tonight while talking to my SO I told him that today was one of those days where I just replayed my visit to him over again in my head all day. I told him that although it made me sad because he wasn't here, it made me happy because it helped me think of what I have to look forward to in the future with him all the time. So he goes on to say that he never thinks about my visit. At first I thought I was hearing him wrong, but he says he never replays in his head what happened while I was there, but does think about our relationship and how it's going now and will be like in the future when we're together, which makes him happy. I don't know how to feel about this. A part of me is happy he thinks of our future and is happy with how our relationship is in the here and now. But another part of me feels a bit sad that he doesn't think back to how our time together was in person (unless I mention something and then he'll reminisce with me for a bit). I don't know, how would anyone else feel if their SO told them this? I'm not completely pissed or feel like our relationship means any less to him, because I know it means alot to him. But at the same time I guess I just feel a little letdown because I thought he thought about our time together like I did. If I was told this, I'd feel hurt. That said, it sounds like this is just how he is coping. For you; replaying the visit brings comfort. For him, it probably brings pain. He probably puts the visit out of his head and instead focuses on your future together because that is what brings HIM comfort. It's understandable.
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