lostsoul25 Posted June 30, 2010 Posted June 30, 2010 I know what I want to do but I just cant make myself make the leap. I want to find a special lady friend but im not that experienced or confident in having a girl as anything other than just a friend. I seem to be able to manage to make general chit chat with them on a one-to-one basis ok for a short time, usually when im in a comfortable place for me. Mostly people at work, maybe popping into my office. A while ago I wouldn't be the one to start a conversation with them and im sure some people wouldn't even realise i have this problem. Now I try to and then every time I see them Id make chitchat, which does make me feel good, however if I like talking to them and feel remotely interested in them I cant make myself progress it any further. To knowing if they are single, interested or to even ask them out. I then think about it too much and it annoys me that its me with the big problem Theres a couple of girls at work im interested in, one i was talking to just before I left when saw her in corridor, not spoke to her much but trying to make an effort and asked about her,learnt a few things in a couple of minutes. I know it sounds strange me saying theres a couple am interested in, there has been others who eventually find out theyre taken, even if they weren't id still be at square one. Im rubbish and cant even tell if theyre just talkin because they nice people or if are interested I wish it wasn't supposed to be the guy to make the first move
Green Posted June 30, 2010 Posted June 30, 2010 I know what I want to do but I just cant make myself make the leap. YES YOU CAN, its really as easy as just DOING IT. I want to find a special lady friend but im not that experienced or confident in having a girl as anything other than just a friend. I don't know if you are just trying to be cute with the term "special lady friend?" I would go with the label "girlfriend." You just have to make a leap of faith, its olright if you screw up as long as you TRIED. I seem to be able to manage to make general chit chat with them on a one-to-one basis ok for a short time, usually when im in a comfortable place for me. Mostly people at work, maybe popping into my office. Look chit chat is fine. All you have to do now is ASK THEM OUT. Just do it. If your worried about your job then make "chit chat" as you call it with women OUTSIDE OF WORK. Women are every where so just give it a TRY. A while ago I wouldn't be the one to start a conversation with them and im sure some people wouldn't even realise i have this problem. Now I try to and then every time I see them Id make chitchat, which does make me feel good, however if I like talking to them and feel remotely interested in them I cant make myself progress it any further. To knowing if they are single, interested or to even ask them out. I then think about it too much and it annoys me that its me with the big problem STOP THINKING. You are making problems out of nothing. It doesn't matter if they are interested or dating some one else or what ever else... JUST ASK THEM OUT... Flirt a little first (you know silly fun "chit chat" as you call it) THEN ASK THEM OUT. They are perfectly capable of telling you they are not interested or what ever... AND YOU CAN HANDLE REJECTION. You'll be fine if they say no or whatever. Who cares what they think of you. IF YOU DON'T TRY ITS THE SAME RESULT AS IF THEY SAID NO. Theres a couple of girls at work im interested in, one i was talking to just before I left when saw her in corridor, not spoke to her much but trying to make an effort and asked about her,learnt a few things in a couple of minutes. I know it sounds strange me saying theres a couple am interested in, there has been others who eventually find out theyre taken, even if they weren't id still be at square one. Im rubbish and cant even tell if theyre just talkin because they nice people or if are interested THATS GREAT THAT YOU ARE INTERESTED IN MORE THE ONE GIRL. A single man should be interested in MANY GIRLS until of course he seriously starts dating ONE SPECIAL GIRL, BUT you can't know a girl until you started dating her. In my opinion it is UNHEALTHY to focus and fall in love with ONE SINGLE girl WHO YOU have never even been on a date with. STOP TRYING TO FIGURE OUT IF THEY ARE INTERESTED IN YOU. You know you are interested in them so politely ASK THEM OUT ALREADY. I wish it wasn't supposed to be the guy to make the first move Yes, BUT you are the guy and women are for the most part EVEN MORE SCARED THEN YOU. So don't expect them to face rejection and make any of the first moves such as ASKING OUT or GOING IN FOR THE KISS. Just DO IT. 1) ASK A GIRL OUT 2) KISS HER ON THE DATE, DON'T ASK JUST KISS. ASK THE GIRLS YOU LIKE OUT. DON'T WORRY ABOUT BEING REJECTED!
BeautifulTragedy Posted June 30, 2010 Posted June 30, 2010 I know what I want to do but I just cant make myself make the leap. I want to find a special lady friend but im not that experienced or confident in having a girl as anything other than just a friend. I seem to be able to manage to make general chit chat with them on a one-to-one basis ok for a short time, usually when im in a comfortable place for me. Mostly people at work, maybe popping into my office. A while ago I wouldn't be the one to start a conversation with them and im sure some people wouldn't even realise i have this problem. Now I try to and then every time I see them Id make chitchat, which does make me feel good, however if I like talking to them and feel remotely interested in them I cant make myself progress it any further. To knowing if they are single, interested or to even ask them out. I then think about it too much and it annoys me that its me with the big problem Theres a couple of girls at work im interested in, one i was talking to just before I left when saw her in corridor, not spoke to her much but trying to make an effort and asked about her,learnt a few things in a couple of minutes. I know it sounds strange me saying theres a couple am interested in, there has been others who eventually find out theyre taken, even if they weren't id still be at square one. Im rubbish and cant even tell if theyre just talkin because they nice people or if are interested I wish it wasn't supposed to be the guy to make the first move I am going through the same thing with finding the special male friend. Only problem is, I have had some I asked out. I have always been the one to ask a guy out, and of course they all turned me down. I'm usually the shy one with no confidence. I even had some tell me I have such a great personality and I'm beautiful but I wasn't what they wanted. It's quite depressing, but yeah I've even had some guys I was interested in and they weren't single. There are some girls like me that don't want to be the girl to make the first move. I guess we look for someone "special" in all the wrong places. I know I do. You're not rubbish, I think it's completely normal to not want to make the first move.
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