marmaliade Posted June 30, 2010 Posted June 30, 2010 When relationship breaks, it actually look that the girls suffer more (not in all the cases), but I know actually that the guys take it more harder, just they are enable to hide it, because girls are more emotional, more drama type... Guys usually hide their grief in gyms, going out to clubs, hanging out with friends and hooking up with the girls. so I am I wrong and DO actually guys take it most of the time more seriously and actually take longer for them to recover, because in the beggining they bottle up their emotions? Just thought it could sound also dumpee vs dumper. Does the dumpee survive all the emotions here and now, while the dumper gets hit with them later on, that's why so many dumpers wake up after some time?
Shakz Posted June 30, 2010 Posted June 30, 2010 Guys usually hide their grief in gyms, going out to clubs, hanging out with friends and hooking up with the girls. That's hiding grief? Here all this time I thought that was called moving on. Obviously it all depends on the person, and the intensity of the relationship, and how long they were together, and yadda, yadda, yadda. It's impossible to generalize about which sex takes a break-up harder.
Ilovecake Posted June 30, 2010 Posted June 30, 2010 I don't think gender has anything to do with it. People deal with things differently because everyone has different points of view of their relationships. The more dependent you are on the other person, the more you lose yourself in them the harder you will crash once it ends. Whether you're a man or a woman has no bearing on that.
Author marmaliade Posted June 30, 2010 Author Posted June 30, 2010 Thanks for replies, more would be appreciated. But from my experience, my own relationship and I mean really relationship where was love from both sides, usually, guys took it harder or maybe longer to get over it, because they bottle it up more? Me, im taking it really hard though try not to show it, but i believe that my ex is really suffering too, though he did the dumping. Did u ever had any conversations with your ex from previous relationship? What I actually heard thet doesn't matter how bad they treat you and seem ok with it, it's usually even harder for them. That's what I heard.
sean1970 Posted June 30, 2010 Posted June 30, 2010 (edited) When relationship breaks, it actually look that the girls suffer more (not in all the cases), but I know actually that the guys take it more harder, just they are enable to hide it, because girls are more emotional, more drama type... Guys usually hide their grief in gyms, going out to clubs, hanging out with friends and hooking up with the girls. so I am I wrong and DO actually guys take it most of the time more seriously and actually take longer for them to recover, because in the beggining they bottle up their emotions? Just thought it could sound also dumpee vs dumper. Does the dumpee survive all the emotions here and now, while the dumper gets hit with them later on, that's why so many dumpers wake up after some time? Heartache is an equal opportunity employer and gender neutral. While it is true, men tend to hide it, it does not hurt any less and tends to last longer as we stave off help/healing from the emotional burial. As for the dumper, seems they get on a high initially, that like any other, has a hangover sometime in the future. However, if they do contact the dumped, it is almost never to see how they are really doing but to see if they still hold importance in our lives. "Egotistically presumptuous" is one way a local 'Maiden' postulated it to me about such contact... Edited June 30, 2010 by sean1970
whatadeer26 Posted June 30, 2010 Posted June 30, 2010 I am a guy who was told "She needed a break". I have been taking it very hard lately. She went from telling me she loved me 10 hours before to needing time. She is going through horrible family issues right now, but I can tell you I am not afraid of ashamed to tell my firends and family how I feel. She was my everything, Beautiful, Funny, we got along great and then her Dad left her mom and she turned that anger against me. She won't even give me a chance to talk it out with her. I really want to talk to her, but I don't know how to reach her unless I go to her house.
sean1970 Posted June 30, 2010 Posted June 30, 2010 I am a guy who was told "She needed a break". I have been taking it very hard lately. She went from telling me she loved me 10 hours before to needing time. She is going through horrible family issues right now, but I can tell you I am not afraid of ashamed to tell my firends and family how I feel. She was my everything, Beautiful, Funny, we got along great and then her Dad left her mom and she turned that anger against me. She won't even give me a chance to talk it out with her. I really want to talk to her, but I don't know how to reach her unless I go to her house. Leave her alone bro... Trust us... She will contact you if/when she wants to.
Author marmaliade Posted June 30, 2010 Author Posted June 30, 2010 She was my everything, Beautiful, Funny, we got along great and then her Dad left her mom and she turned that anger against me. She won't even give me a chance to talk it out with her. I really want to talk to her, but I don't know how to reach her unless I go to her house. I Actually understand you. Same situation here. Had a bf for 4 years and suddenly everything went black and no explanation, no nothing, no way to reach him . Hold on Maybe you should give her that time so she's solve her family issues and could take control of her emotions, she doesn't look very stable now
Author marmaliade Posted June 30, 2010 Author Posted June 30, 2010 Leave her alone bro... Trust us... She will contact you if/when she wants to. Great advice, wish I could find it easier to stick to it myself, always scared to loose the relationship, him, but mostly the bond, but I guess i already lost most of it
jlr Posted June 30, 2010 Posted June 30, 2010 I'm a dude, and I think I've taken it a lot harder than my ex did. She's currently with a new person. I'm single. And while I've tried to see some girls, I just can't get over her and my past. When we broke up, she had casual sex with someone a few months later. I still haven't had sex with anyone else, a year later. So, I think it depends on the situation. My ex always said that it WAS hard on her, but she went through it WHILE in the relationship. Like, the last year, she began to disconnect from the situation. I think that's sorta ****ty, considering I was still there thinking we were going to be ok. I guess my point is, everyone is different.
whatadeer26 Posted June 30, 2010 Posted June 30, 2010 Thanks for the advice. Sometimes you just need reassurance on what to do. I haven't contacted her in a while. Still dreed the day we run into each other out and get angry whenever I think of some other guy touching her. Still only been 2 weeks since she needed a break 3 since her Dad left.
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