amythan Posted June 30, 2010 Posted June 30, 2010 I do not know what is wrong with me and i didn't use to be this way but ... I posted about this guy in the past. We work for the same company in different locations. We got really close and from february we talk almost every day. We went out several times, slept together. He is caring and he always contacts me and he repeats every day that "he really needs to see me". We always meet because we arrange work things around to see each other. I am going there next week and we have already made plans. As i do not know what he wants i am feeling really insecure and pulling back all the time. I am a nice person and i mean what i say but i know this is not the case for everyone. My last bf let me go visiting him, disappeared, never returned my calls and pull on me the most hurtful disappearing act ever. I was devastated and i made a real fool of myself. Now i am too scared to go through the same nightmare again. If this makes any sense i like the new guy but i think if i finish everything now on my terms i am going to be fine. On the contrary if i let him reject me i will be devastated again. It is like his rejection will bring more value to him showing that i am not good enough. We chat on monday and he said he is leaving the company on friday. Given that all our interaction is through our work i panicked. I said something like "I am really happy for you, i am going to miss you though". He said: "It means nothing, there will not be any missing by anyone". But deep inside i think this is over. Perhaps for no reason. But i even thought that he is going to do the same thing as my last bf ... What should i do? Should i talk to him next week or just walk again ? I do not really want to feel like an idiot ever again. I am sure i will goof and i will feel like a fool. He says that i am cute when i am goofy but i do not think the same. I do not want to tell my feelings to him and realize that he is not interested. Thanks for your help !
crimsonmike Posted June 30, 2010 Posted June 30, 2010 I really don't know how to respond to this. How in the hell can you possibly not know what he wants????? You've been talking everyday for months. He's obviously not just after sex. Look, you play with fire, sometimes you get burned. It happens to us ALL. You've just got to suck it up.
Author amythan Posted June 30, 2010 Author Posted June 30, 2010 I do not know what he wants because i was always afraid to ask. Because i always played cool and non demanding. Because it happens to me in the past that i misunderstood things. I am just scared that he was bored at work and he was just enlightening his days with someone who pays attention to him and now he will move on with his life and perhaps he will not need this anymore. Perhaps it is just my insecurities getting the best of me. So i need to do something because i can not deal with this go with the flow anymore.
In_Repair Posted June 30, 2010 Posted June 30, 2010 If you keep this up, you will surely feel like an idiot again. It might not come for a long time, but one day you will realize that you wasted a lot of life being scared of rejection. Being rejected, and more importantly feeling rejected, is something that you need to face, and learn to deal with. If you get rejected, you walk away... go get rejected again. Sooner or later, either you will "fix" the reason(s) you are being continually rejected, or you will find someone who accepts you as you are at the time. Everyone else can go to hell. Are you really going to let your own life pass you by in so many ways, just because you are scared of another person's reactions to you? **** them... they suck anyway.
Author amythan Posted June 30, 2010 Author Posted June 30, 2010 I think you are right and if i walk away i will regret. Not sure how to approach this conversation tough ... i mean, i do not want to appear as desperate or wanted to force him to commit, just want to know if he wants this to go on and give it a try ..
Recommended Posts