AlwaysConflicted Posted June 30, 2010 Posted June 30, 2010 Every morning I wake up and cannot stop thinking about my ex. It's been 7 weeks since our breakup and about 7 days since our final contact. Final contact was the "I don't I have the same feelings for you anymore" speech. I'm starting to put her on a pedestal and only see her positive traits. Then later at night I tend to get angry that she would call everything off so quickly. Just weeks before she was saying how much she loved me and that I made her happy. I guess that was a lie. Because I loved her and even though we had some differences of opinion I was willing to stick it out. Not her though. As soon as she lost that feeling of everything is going great she ran for the hills. I hate that I fell for such a shallow person. I love her and I also hate that about myself. I thought we had a great thing going. I saw a future for us. She's 29 and I'm 30, the age when marriage is on our minds. I guess I just need to grieve for my loss. Too bad I don't understand the reason for my loss. She somehow fell out of love with me. We don't have the same friends, we don't really go to the same places so I doubt we'll ever see or talk to each other again. I hate her for breaking my heart like this, but on the other hand I still love her.
Author AlwaysConflicted Posted June 30, 2010 Author Posted June 30, 2010 What are you doing for you lately? I'm stuck in a hole of self pity, doubt and depression. I lost my job a few months ago, but I recently found some part time work until September. I can't remember the last time I was actually happy and single. I'm going to see a Psychatrist tomorrow. I always see the world with a gray tint, but when I have a girlfriend it seems to make everything better. I think I may have a chemical imbalance. I don't have a passion in life and I really don't get much joy from anything. I just go through the motions. I've considered the unspeakable act, not necessarily because I'm so sad, but because I don't see much of a point. If nothing makes me happy, then why live until 70 or 80 like this? It's just torture, I'd rather gain relief, even if it is a bit selfish. I look at it in 2 ways: 1.) A lot of good can come from tragedy and 2.) It could be a great adventure.
USMCHokie Posted June 30, 2010 Posted June 30, 2010 I always see the world with a gray tint, but when I have a girlfriend it seems to make everything better. I think I may have a chemical imbalance. I don't have a passion in life and I really don't get much joy from anything. I just go through the motions. I've considered the unspeakable act, not necessarily because I'm so sad, but because I don't see much of a point. If nothing makes me happy, then why live until 70 or 80 like this? It's just torture, I'd rather gain relief, even if it is a bit selfish. This is a big problem. You need to step away from relationships and regain a passion and joy for life on your own. To be honest, this might be one of the reasons she left you (I forgot your story...), and a reason any future women won't want anything to do with you. This is a very parasitic approach to life, and no woman wants a guy who clings onto her as his only source of happiness. All that does is drag her down with you. My number one piece of advice for guys going through breakups: go to the gym. If you already do so, then step up your training, clean up your diet, and get crazy in shape. It will do wonders...
sean1970 Posted June 30, 2010 Posted June 30, 2010 (edited) I'm stuck in a hole of self pity, doubt and depression. I lost my job a few months ago, but I recently found some part time work until September. I can't remember the last time I was actually happy and single. I'm going to see a Psychatrist tomorrow. I always see the world with a gray tint, but when I have a girlfriend it seems to make everything better. I think I may have a chemical imbalance. I don't have a passion in life and I really don't get much joy from anything. I just go through the motions. I've considered the unspeakable act, not necessarily because I'm so sad, but because I don't see much of a point. If nothing makes me happy, then why live until 70 or 80 like this? It's just torture, I'd rather gain relief, even if it is a bit selfish. I look at it in 2 ways: 1.) A lot of good can come from tragedy and 2.) It could be a great adventure. It is cliche but you do have find a way to be your own best company. If there is one thing I realized from my breakup was how much I depended on her for; self worth, entertainment, joy. If you vest too much of that in anyone else, they also have the power to take it all away. Remember, you want a companion, not a supplier. You are just in a place where you have to "fake it before you can make it.". You have to put yourself out of your comfort zone... Do things you would not have normally. A few months ago, I said 'fu<kit' and took an impromptu road trip to Colorado with my sister. Had one of the best times of my life. In the late summer, I'm going to Ireland, fu<kit! If you are in the States (not sure if it is multinational), check out meetup.com. They have singles groups but many others types. It is just a place for people with common interests to get together and hang out (going skydiving with one in a month). There are a bazillion groups and its all free. I have made some really good friends and found it a most welcome distraction from the "Sean hater club" where I was the sole attender. Keep your chin up dude. We care about you, and you will again too, ok? Edited June 30, 2010 by sean1970
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