Blindeyes Posted June 30, 2010 Posted June 30, 2010 I want to call him. Should I? The last time I called he never answered nor did he return my missed call or should I text him? I was thinking to say something like. " I think about you everyday and even though I know you don't love me...I still want to be just your friend" Is that too sappy. Gosh....I feel like a motherless child....Having children I could never imagine them going through these whirlwinds and being so crushed by another human being. I would come to their defense like a bull and take the pain away. Of course I should not complain because my mother has no idea about my suffering...in fact no one does...just LOVESHACK and GOD. I present very well. I look good everyday... I always make sure to do my hair and wear makeup. etc...of course this is all a hoax...I mean I like it ...and I do it because I always think that if I look good at least I may feel a tad bit better? yeah right! At any rate...tell me if I should just contact him. The sad part is that I have no shame or dignity it seems. I have even thought about being with him and engaging with him sexually in ways that I have never done (oral sex etc...) Can you believe that never came up in the relationship...he never asked and I never did. He made mention at some point that it had to do with Islam..but who knows. I can’t help but to wonder whatever hot little 20 yr that’s pleasuring him...may be doing all he wants. Would it be a signal to him that I am week and that I am dying over him...if I make contact? Will it decrease my chances of ever being with him again? I am so sorry for the stupid obsession but the truth is..I felt sooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo good when we were "good". I love so much about him....except for his lying. I want so bad for him to love me. I wish I could make him jealous, but we have no mutual friends or events that we go to. Ok Ok Ok..should I call him and let him know that I am thinking about him and that I love him? :(:(
AlwaysConflicted Posted June 30, 2010 Posted June 30, 2010 Unfortunately calling him will do the opposite of what you want. Sure, he'll know how you feel but he probably already does. It will push him farther away from you and you will feel worse after contacting him. No Contact is extremely difficult, unbearable at times. It forces your brain to slowly forget so you can heal and move on. If you keep contacting him, you'll always be hurting. I hate to tell you this stuff because I'm still depressed over my breakup but it's all true.
BeagleGal Posted July 3, 2010 Posted July 3, 2010 First of all, sweetie, you need to just ease and settle and reread what you just wrote here. "The sad part is that I have no shame or dignity it seems." This is not the way to think! I'm on day 15 NC with my ex and let me tell you. I've gone through the same and still am what you are going through right now. I'm dying to contact him, dying to know why he hasn't contacted me as well either esp since he was the one that started contacting me again. But you know what, he's a douche, an a**hole, a liar, a cheat and he does not deserve my contacting him. He doesn't deserve me wasting precious brain cells on him. Unfortunately, I still have feelings for him. You can't carry on all desperate for these men (and women, for all you broken hearted guys). You can't keep enabling them to continue treating you like ****. I would feel so shi**y if I was chasing my ex around like a pathetic desperate loser. He was the one that f**ked up, he was the one that dumped me. So why the hell am I going to go after him and tell him I love him and miss him? I highly advise you don't do it. Trust me, it will backfire. He'll get the text and think you can't be without him and desperate to have his sorry ass back. Why would you want to do that and stroke his ego? He ain't worth it, he sounds like a loser, don't think about the 20 year old pleasuring him - she's probably got an STD and just FOCUS ON YOURSELF. I want to call him. Should I? The last time I called he never answered nor did he return my missed call or should I text him? I was thinking to say something like. " I think about you everyday and even though I know you don't love me...I still want to be just your friend" Is that too sappy. Gosh....I feel like a motherless child....Having children I could never imagine them going through these whirlwinds and being so crushed by another human being. I would come to their defense like a bull and take the pain away. Of course I should not complain because my mother has no idea about my suffering...in fact no one does...just LOVESHACK and GOD. I present very well. I look good everyday... I always make sure to do my hair and wear makeup. etc...of course this is all a hoax...I mean I like it ...and I do it because I always think that if I look good at least I may feel a tad bit better? yeah right! At any rate...tell me if I should just contact him. The sad part is that I have no shame or dignity it seems. I have even thought about being with him and engaging with him sexually in ways that I have never done (oral sex etc...) Can you believe that never came up in the relationship...he never asked and I never did. He made mention at some point that it had to do with Islam..but who knows. I can’t help but to wonder whatever hot little 20 yr that’s pleasuring him...may be doing all he wants. Would it be a signal to him that I am week and that I am dying over him...if I make contact? Will it decrease my chances of ever being with him again? I am so sorry for the stupid obsession but the truth is..I felt sooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo good when we were "good". I love so much about him....except for his lying. I want so bad for him to love me. I wish I could make him jealous, but we have no mutual friends or events that we go to. Ok Ok Ok..should I call him and let him know that I am thinking about him and that I love him? :(:(
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