LoveTruthChaos Posted June 30, 2010 Posted June 30, 2010 (edited) Sorry to start yet another thread, eep! I've been NC since the day my ex left me at the start of April. He left me for someone else that he'd been seeing before he left me, and we were in an LDR. So, after it happened, I disappeared off FB for a month. When I got back, I checked his profile and he was 'In a Relationship'. I was more surprised that he hadn't deleted me as a friend, in all honesty. Question #1: Why on earth would he stay FB friends with me if he was done with me? Being friends with both of us at the same time? YUCK. Admittedly, it was about 4 or 5 days later when I blocked him. I knew that I was grateful I'd found out the truth that he never told me... but I could see too much of what his new GF was posting, and I almost projectile vomited in my own mouth - repeatedly. I couldn't eat, and I was anxious the whole time. The way she spoke about him, you'd think they'd been together for a year! Before I blocked him though, I changed my profile picture, and did a couple of status updates. Nothing at all to do with him, but I almost feel bad for being 'active' on FB before blocking him. It's like I feel guilty for even letting him know indirectly what I had been up to since he left. It wasn't intentional, but I wasn't going to stay off FB forever, and this was a day or two before deciding to block him. Question #2: Does that mean I wasn't in NC? And another thing...before I blocked him, he was writing a bunch of notes on his profile about music (he does this a lot)...but he was asking questions about 80's music (which I love), asking opinions of certain songs (songs which I love), creating topics that were clearly, obviously to do with me. Question #3: Why the f**k was he trying to get a rise from me, when he's clearly moved on? And by the way - NC is AWESOME. I love it. I don't give a damn if I never hear what he's doing, I feel great that he has no idea what I'm up to. His loss! So, stick to it guys! If anyone can answer my q's, would be great - cheers. Edited June 30, 2010 by LoveTruthChaos
GrayClouds Posted July 1, 2010 Posted July 1, 2010 Do not play the FB self abuse game, block your ex and leave it alone for a few months. It is just picking the scab to keep you from healing.
YellowShark Posted July 1, 2010 Posted July 1, 2010 Facebook is where many narcissists go looking for validation. That's just my 2 cents.
Author LoveTruthChaos Posted July 1, 2010 Author Posted July 1, 2010 I agree with all of you about the narcissist thing...in fact, just before i blocked him he'd put up a note on FB asking why only 100 of his 900 friends spoke to him on there! Like, seriously? Get over yourself LOL But no one gave me insight to my q's Oh, he's been blocked for about 6 weeks now.
spriggig Posted July 2, 2010 Posted July 2, 2010 Question #1: Why on earth would he stay FB friends with me if he was done with me? Being friends with both of us at the same time?It could be he wants you to see that he's in a relationship. Could be he wants you to think that it didn't occur to him to remove you--to show that you mean nothing to him--"Oh, I just didn't think about it, I'm SO happy now, sorry." Whatever his reason, it's irrelevant to you and your life, NC is for YOU to stop thinking about him and move on. Question #2: Does that mean I wasn't in NC?Who cares if you weren't? You're not getting graded on this, just stay in NC. Question #3: Why the f**k was he trying to get a rise from me, when he's clearly moved on?Yes, maybe he hasn't moved on. But, you should. Stay in NC, stop checking his FB and get on with your life. He's the past, you're life lies in the present and the future. Try to be fully honest with yourself--it's obvious you're still hung up on him and that is what it is. But, instead of posting leading questions like this, you could ask "What do I do to get over him?" But, of course you know the answer to that question, too. So do it, stay in NC and work on yourself and your other friendships and leave him behind.
Author LoveTruthChaos Posted July 3, 2010 Author Posted July 3, 2010 I think everyone missed the fact that I said - twice - that I blocked him 6 weeks ago. Yes, I am still hung up on him, I don't deny that at all. It's been less than 3 months since the break up, and unless I'm some kind of superman, I'm not over him! I just wanted some answers coz for me, that's a little like getting closure (that I'm otherwise never going to get). And I will NEVER break NC. I love and respect myself too much to humiliate myself! Anyway, thanks spriggig - you answered my questions. You answers have helped me heal a bit more. I have actually reached a bizarre stage in the last few days that feels nice, so I'm riding with it as long as I can. Cheers!
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