deebeechrisyo Posted June 30, 2010 Posted June 30, 2010 One of my best friends just flew off for a week vacation, to meet up with a guy who she is sure is going to propose to her. He's been hinting at it I guess. I am very happy for her... BUT I don't think the guy knows what he is getting into. This girl is a mess. She's been married once before, and her exact words for the reasoning: "it seemed exciting"... ugh. It lasted maybe a year? She has two kids from two different guys. The probable new husband and her have broken up and gotten back together plenty of times. The last time, he moved to a new state for work and dumped her. She was crushed for months and begged him back for an unhealthy amount of time. He caved in and they did the LDR thing for a while. As you can guess, she got bored of him after he took her back and was "buying time" before she dumped him. At the same time, she went through some other guys while still "with" him. I know the guy and he is a good dude. I was friends with him before her actually. He is an ideal provider, not so great with girls but attractive as a dad. I can't imagine what a divorce, or getting dumped while engaged would do to him. You readers are probably wondering 1. Why do you put up with listening to her crap? and 2. What is the point of this post? 1: Well she listens to my crap too, and she is a great platonic female friend. 2: I kind of just wanted to let it off my chest. It's not my place to get in between two partners, no matter how unhealthy it is (unless we are taking physical abuse). He might learn a valuable, albeit tough lesson from this. It might work out, who knows. Would you go behind a best friend's back and warn the husband to be?
Corporate Posted June 30, 2010 Posted June 30, 2010 Would you go behind a best friend's back and warn the husband to be? Unly if the husband to be is your brother, uncle or some other close relative or the husband to be is your best friend.
Woggle Posted June 30, 2010 Posted June 30, 2010 If he is dumb enough to marry her it is his own fault. When a woman shows her true colors a man should believe her.
freestyle Posted June 30, 2010 Posted June 30, 2010 I agree with everything the previous poster said.....I'd like to add, that you stated that the H to- be was your friend first-----does he not deserve your loyalty?
reservoirdog1 Posted June 30, 2010 Posted June 30, 2010 If they've already had plenty of breakups in their relationship so far, it sounds to me like the guy should already know what he's getting into with her. If he nonetheless decides to marry her, well... he's probably blind, or a bit thick. But either way, it's his problem, not yours, and you should probably not get involved.
Lecturer Posted June 30, 2010 Posted June 30, 2010 I say tell him. For the sake of the potential children that would grow up with so many problems and for his sake.
allina Posted June 30, 2010 Posted June 30, 2010 You should tell him, but be ready for him to not want to hear it or not believe you.
melodymatters Posted June 30, 2010 Posted June 30, 2010 Eewww ! I can't believe the advice you are getting ! She didn't even " do" anything that requires some big reveal, so what I'm seeing is that you have acted like this girls friend and been privy to her innermost thoughts and now you are going to turn around and tell this guy that basically she's shallow or a flake or whatever ?!? I would hope if he's proposing that HE knows her better than you, and all I can see is you losing BOTH of them as friends. But basically it sounds like a sh*tty thing to do, and if a male friend of mine, went to my current boyfriend and slammed me I would feel beyond betrayed !!! And you say " your'e happy for her" ? Yeah...riiiight.....
She's_NotInLove_w/Me Posted June 30, 2010 Posted June 30, 2010 They are two conseting adults and allowed to make their own mistakes.... I can definitely see why you want to get in the middle, but you would likely alienate yourself from both of them. Many people given this type of information shortly before being wed would choose to ignore it anyways... She could more than likely convince him that some of it is exagerated and/or some of it was simple mistakes and/or oversights the supposed timing was when they were 'off'... Ugg. What a mess. Good Luck with whatever you decide.
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