rivermagic Posted June 30, 2010 Posted June 30, 2010 On the 10th my boyfriend decided to move out. He moved back in with his mom. He still called and stopped in to see me, and to take my son to the park. After his taking my son to the park, he started not talking to me online, nor picking up my phone calls. Recently, one of my friends had spotted him walking up the road with a girl. She fit the discription of an ex girlfriend. I didn't say anything. I had been trying to call him for a few days and no one would pick up, so I blocked my number,Then one day I turned on his facebook and seen that this girl had sent him a heart on his wall. It made me mad so I basically told him that I heard he was with her, and I wanted him to move his things and get out of my life, and have a good life with her and her kids. He then deleted me off facebook. I called him up to see why and he started screaming at me, telling me I was stupid, and crazy, and he didn't do it. It was the maddest I have ever seen him he sounded more inraged then guilty. He said he did not. And continued to tell me off. His mom was in the background telling him to stop and to calm down, He then hung up on me. I called back and she said he was really upset right then and couldn't talk. I know the other girl knows now, because we had one mutual friend together, and she deleted him, and hid all of her information. Why would he tell her? Why would he keep her on the list and not me? He now has deleted me completely off his msn. He claimed on the phone he would be here in a few days to get his things. Why not get them right then? It is nice stuff to. He even told me to sell it. We are expecting a baby in October, and he completely ignores me now, do you think he will come around? I feel bad to jump to conclusions, but I honestly thought he was cheating. My biggest issue is why she would go through the actions to protect her privacy, and delete her mutual friends. Why would he tell her?
Sazerac Posted June 30, 2010 Posted June 30, 2010 You did not make a mistake. You caught the scumbag red-handed and he is engaging in classic avoidance, smoke-screening behavior; throwing it back at you and making it your fault. Tell him to get his crap and get out of your life. Don't sell it...it could come back to bite you in the rear later, legally. Make sure you can prove he is the legal father of your kid so that he can't welsh out on child support down the road. And... I really feel for you going through this. I know it must hurt something awful. Do what it takes to grieve and then move on as best you can. Blessings, Sazerac
bunnixkisses Posted June 30, 2010 Posted June 30, 2010 This kinda sounds like a situation I helped my friend get thru about a month ago (minus the baby part). She was paying for everything and being an awesome girlfriend, and he was running around with other girls while she was at work. He hid it from her very well and she had a very difficult time leaving him. After I caught him doing it..he tried telling her he never did anything and blah blah blah. Your guy doesn't want to get caught. YOU are his girlfriend, not the other girl...even if they are dating. If he's dating her, he still doesn't want to lose you. Kinda sounds like the case of "Trying to decide if I will miss her..or who I want to be with". The fact that he just up and moved out with his mom? Obviously he had some other things in mind, such as, spending more time with this girl..because he obviously couldn't do it living with you. I can tell you up and down to leave him, but I know how difficult it is, especially with a baby. The only advice I can honestly give you, is to act like his actions do not effect you. By it effecting you, it's giving the other girl what she wants. So act like you don't care, and you're better than him (which you are because you're a mommy!) and he will come running back. At that time...hopefully you would have had enough time to decide if you want to try to make it work..or if you are ready to leave him. Sometimes guy's just need a reality check so they realize what they had, and how much they miss it. Don't try talking it out with him, he's ashamed and embarassed that he got caught. He will only hold it against you.. As for his ****... pack it all up FOR him and send it off to his mommy's house! It's like a swift kick in the tush tellin him "I don't want to see you, I hate you and what you did to me, and now..you're completely out of my life..and I don't care!" Hope this helps!
bunnixkisses Posted June 30, 2010 Posted June 30, 2010 On the 10th my boyfriend decided to move out. He moved back in with his mom. He still called and stopped in to see me, and to take my son to the park. After his taking my son to the park, he started not talking to me online, nor picking up my phone calls. Recently, one of my friends had spotted him walking up the road with a girl. She fit the discription of an ex girlfriend. I didn't say anything. I had been trying to call him for a few days and no one would pick up, so I blocked my number,Then one day I turned on his facebook and seen that this girl had sent him a heart on his wall. It made me mad so I basically told him that I heard he was with her, and I wanted him to move his things and get out of my life, and have a good life with her and her kids. He then deleted me off facebook. I called him up to see why and he started screaming at me, telling me I was stupid, and crazy, and he didn't do it. It was the maddest I have ever seen him he sounded more inraged then guilty. He said he did not. And continued to tell me off. His mom was in the background telling him to stop and to calm down, He then hung up on me. I called back and she said he was really upset right then and couldn't talk. I know the other girl knows now, because we had one mutual friend together, and she deleted him, and hid all of her information. Why would he tell her? Why would he keep her on the list and not me? He now has deleted me completely off his msn. He claimed on the phone he would be here in a few days to get his things. Why not get them right then? It is nice stuff to. He even told me to sell it. We are expecting a baby in October, and he completely ignores me now, do you think he will come around? I feel bad to jump to conclusions, but I honestly thought he was cheating. My biggest issue is why she would go through the actions to protect her privacy, and delete her mutual friends. Why would he tell her? Sorry for the repost.. Don't feel bad for assuming. You have a legit reason to feel as if he was cheating. I would have thought the same thing! You cannot help how you feel, and how other people influence those feelings. As for the girl? He thinks he already lost you, and by you "freaking out on him" he's telling himself you're crazy and he doesn't want to be with you ( even tho you had every RIGHT and reason to do so!) he is trying to make himself feel less guilty..so he's trying to sweet talk her into staying..so he didn't lose both of you. Most likely. She probably thinks her friend betrayed her and told you about them.
Woman In Blue Posted June 30, 2010 Posted June 30, 2010 Your biggest issue is wondering why someone did something on Facebook????? If you already have one kid and you're pregnant with another, it kind of stands to reason that you're a little too old to be living your life on Facebook and MSN and every other lame computer social networking program. That's for teenagers. What is it with people nowadays letting these silly, stupid programs dictate their entire lives? How embarrassing. In either event, he clearly moved out because he doesn't want to be with you anymore. I would suppose that he should be given a little credit - instead of cheating on you and constantly lying to your face every single day, he did the right thing by moving out and NOT visiting that garbage on you and your relationship and family. Is he a complete weasel for shirking his responsibilities by running away when you're pregnant? Absolutely, he is. That speaks VOLUMES about his lack of character and you might want to think twice about wanting someone like this in your life. Now you're tied to him for the next umpteen years with child custody, child support, visitation issues and all the drama that goes with it. Good luck to you.
JacquesA.LeFrancais Posted June 30, 2010 Posted June 30, 2010 Your biggest issue is wondering why someone did something on Facebook????? If you already have one kid and you're pregnant with another, it kind of stands to reason that you're a little too old to be living your life on Facebook and MSN and every other lame computer social networking program. That's for teenagers. What is it with people nowadays letting these silly, stupid programs dictate their entire lives? How embarrassing. In either event, he clearly moved out because he doesn't want to be with you anymore. I would suppose that he should be given a little credit - instead of cheating on you and constantly lying to your face every single day, he did the right thing by moving out and NOT visiting that garbage on you and your relationship and family. Is he a complete weasel for shirking his responsibilities by running away when you're pregnant? Absolutely, he is. That speaks VOLUMES about his lack of character and you might want to think twice about wanting someone like this in your life. Now you're tied to him for the next umpteen years with child custody, child support, visitation issues and all the drama that goes with it. Good luck to you. Though I agree with the social networking...I have to say i don't agree with the fact that he is of poor character because he left her pregnant. My son was 4 weeks old my ex was at a mall kissing and hugging on another man, with a new born baby 3 feet from her. He was taking his son, (or hers she wasn't clear) obviously willing to keep a relationship with the child and the future one. Her behavior her is a bit unstable imo. Granted she is pregnant and expecting his child, but advocating NC as this forum does, I find it interesting that people would date coming down on her for not being communicative on a personal level. He moved out, saw his son, practiced NC with her? So long as he steps up to be a father, what has he done wrong here? This seems like someone broke up, he is practicing No Contact, he tried to see his kid (or hers) and voila...
Mimolicious Posted June 30, 2010 Posted June 30, 2010 ...I was patiently reading (record scratch) pregnant!? :eek:Yikes! Seems like this guy just bailed out on you and from the sounds of it, he's not going to be great father material either. I have to agree with everyone else. You are pregnant and already have another child. You have to depend on FB to know the kind of person that you are creating a family with? Where did you make a mistake? By getting pregnant? By assuming and accusing him of cheating? By disconnecting from him? Sounds to me like you are more concerned about the extend of his relationship with this other chick rather than realizing that it is most likely over between the two of you but at the end of the day, at this point is about another life that hasn't even arrived. Now you're tied to him for the next umpteen years with child custody, child support, visitation issues and all the drama that goes with it. Good luck to you. Co-Parenting doesn't have an expiration date. After kids grow up and visitiation, child support, etc expires... another chapter begins. College, weddings, adulthood,grandkids, etc. Unless this guy gives up his parental rights you will deal with him for the rest of your life. Would he come back? Maybe. We don't know, he probably doesn't even know.
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