harkkam Posted June 29, 2010 Posted June 29, 2010 Here is the post about my ex: http://www.loveshack.org/forums/t235613/ Its been two months since the break-up and I realize that I will probably never meet another women like her again. I've figured the odds that a girl as pretty and sweet as she was and a guy like me who is shy and scared. i am 24 and only have a few friends who are spread out so I am home alone most of the time. I dont go out very often and have no idea how to socialize or meet people. I met this girl through a friend at the time and everything just fell into place. She was there, she was smiling, I was feeling GREAT that day, we clicked and we hit it off. The chances of me meeting another girl like her are slim close to zero. I feel defeated, alone and I miss her. I dont have the energy to build my life again and learn how to live alone again. Even if I do manage to feel normal again, I cant take the dull pain of that loneliness that comes when you are single. There is just something about having a SO that fills a part of you that nothing else can, no matter how many hobbies and things that you try and partake in. Who is going to go to the beach with me and hold hands and walk the city streets and sit in parks and make out. Now I just go home and have nothing to do. I cant imagine starting all over again, I thought I had found the woman I was going to be with forever. Now I have to get back into the game and meet new people which I didnt want to do. I thought that the game for me was done and I had met the right person. I just feel like ending my life with all these good memories is a better option than this dull pain and sadness that is going to carry on with me for a long time. What if I NEVER find another woman like her again. I just dont think I could live with the pain and regret of knowing that.
skydiveaddict Posted June 29, 2010 Posted June 29, 2010 Here is the post about my ex: http://www.loveshack.org/forums/t235613/ I just feel like ending my life with all these good memories is a better option than this dull pain and sadness that is going to carry on with me for a long time. What if I NEVER find another woman like her again. I just dont think I could live with the pain and regret of knowing that. Dont even think like that. you will find someone
Author harkkam Posted June 30, 2010 Author Posted June 30, 2010 Its hard to feel like I will. Knowing how shy I am. I have a hard time approaching women. Dont have the best game. To find another women of her caliber for a man of my social skill in the normal dating game will just be quite impossible. Im not bad looking at all but in a bar or club I just freeze up, I dont have any other place to meet girls. Plus the chances of me finding a good wholesome grounded girl with morals in a club are slim. Im just living to keep feeling this pain. Doesnt seem much worth it
GrayClouds Posted June 30, 2010 Posted June 30, 2010 She was not all that, she too could stink up a bathroom. Try writing a list of ever thing that was less the perfect about her; from big like lying about herpes to small like how her little toe had a gnarly nail. Nothing is to big not is too small. It important you remind yourself that she was not perfect. As far a finding another, you find one which is pretty good evidence you can do it again. And the next one will deserve you.
AlwaysConflicted Posted June 30, 2010 Posted June 30, 2010 Don't do it. You're way too young to give up hope. If you're that shy then just use one of the many computer dating sites. You'd be surprised, but there are plenty of cute girls that are just as shy as you. Those sites allow you to make the first move without actually getting up to talk to a girl at the club. Most people meet girls through friends or through dating sites. Very few people meet their girlfriend by picking them up at a bar, or a library, or the super market. Some do, but the majority are setups and dating sites. Think about it from a mathematical standpoint. If you don't believe me, sign up on match.com for 1 month. Send 50 emails to 50 girls you think fit your critieria. Report back. It works that way at bars too by the way. If you weren't shy you could walk into a bar or several bars and ask 50 girls for a phone number. All you need is 1 to say yes. She could be the "one".
Jilly Bean Posted June 30, 2010 Posted June 30, 2010 Oh, hon - NO NO NO! Right now, it's all still very fresh, and it's so easy to dwell on the heartache. I promise you with everything in me - you WILL meet another amazing girl and your life will be terrific. For now, why not try to meet people some other ways? Do you belong to a gym? How about some volunteer work? Join a sports league? First loves are so hard to get over, but you will recover.
DenverBachelor Posted June 30, 2010 Posted June 30, 2010 No woman is worth dieing for .... killing for maybe ... but not dieing for ...
Author harkkam Posted June 30, 2010 Author Posted June 30, 2010 (edited) Yeah. I know I am young but the odds FEEL against me and maybe my emotions are clouding my judgment. There are places to meet women -college -meetup groups -clubs/bars -through friends -Activities -Gym etc You really have to put yourself out there to meet people and takes getting out of your comfort zone and socializing to meet that right person. I met her sitting on a park bench I saw her looking bored sitting next to a friend that we both knew. I walked up to her and said "You look bored lets go for a walk" I extended my hand and she took it. We talked for about 15-20 minutes on our walk and then i said "Close your eyes I want to see how you kiss" with a smile on my face and smirk, she was astonished but I grabbed her hand softly and she closed her eyes and we kissed. The rest is history. She texted me that same day telling me how she had a fun time etc. I texted her back and we made another date How the hell am I going to repeat something like that which is what bothers me. I have no IDEA what got into me that day, but it was perfect. Right now if I went into a BAR or club a girl would look at me and say "yeah leave me alone" It was too many lucky factors that got me with her. I just dont know what the future holds for me. I tired internet dating this last month. No success. here is my profile on POF. http://www.plentyoffish.com/viewprofile.aspx?profile_id=20595658 to give you an idea with what I am working with I just dont have the courage to strike up a conversation with a woman anymore. Which makes me feel Ill always be alone. I just feel like I got so damn lucky. Edited June 30, 2010 by harkkam
Jilly Bean Posted June 30, 2010 Posted June 30, 2010 Hark, see? You met her totally randomly and by happenchance. While you were just living your life. This WILL happen again.
DenverBachelor Posted June 30, 2010 Posted June 30, 2010 Yeah. I know I am young but the odds FEEL against me and maybe my emotions are clouding my judgment. There are places to meet women -college -meetup groups -clubs/bars -through friends -Activities -Gym etc -Strip Club -Brothel -Local Cities Sports Club -Ex's sister / mom / daughter / aunt -Sexual Addiction Support Groups (like fight club) -Music Events / Concerts / etc. -Art Museum (stand around a painting and ask women what they think of it) -Grocery Store (hand women fruit and ask them, "does this feel firm?" -Baseball Games (scream, "COLD BEER ... PEANUUUUUTS") -Learn to fake a posh European accent and ask for directions in the city -1,000,000 more ...
Heatemyheart89 Posted June 30, 2010 Posted June 30, 2010 Seriously dude it gets better.from your Pof profile you are a good looking guy!I had been single for a year miserable pining for my ex.then one Friday I got asked out by a friend at 10pm for a few drinks.I was ready for bed but I went anyway it was that night i met my now boyfriend.I found that when I had relaxed into my life and started to like myself it happened.You will meet someone as good.BETTER.promise.
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