mvd Posted June 29, 2010 Posted June 29, 2010 (edited) I met my ex when i was in grade 10...she was in grade 9. Im now in my 4th year of university...shes in her third. This is obviously the readers digest version of the story. Anyways...in the early stages we went through hell with her mom...i fought tooth and nail to be with her even if it meant only seeing her once a week or 2. I even went an entire summer without her cuz her mom forced her to move away for the summer. Finally..as we got older...the mom issue became less. She always said she loved me, that wed get married, etc. I loved her too...she practically lived at my house...my parents literally gave her a home here. I felt like I was very supportive to her,especially when shed come over crying somedays because of her mom. Anyways we started fighting more often as the years went on because she didnt like communicating...shed never phone during an argument and would often run out my front door when she was upset...the only way we ever could talk was on msn. We were both stubborn people...i fully admit many of the fights were over stupid stuff. However...since Jan ive had a really tough year. Lots of family/school stress and feelings like my gf was more interested in her own needs than mine. I ultmately suffered a severe emotional crisis in march where i was on medication, seeing a psych ,etc She promised shed be there for me. So as i was going through this...we were spending less and less time together...i simply was too sick to do anything. She tried sleeping over a few times...but i couldnt sleep at all and so i asked if she could just give me space until i feel better. She took this so personally and i assured her it had nothing to do with her. The next few weeks were filled with msn complaints about how lonely she was, how she wanted to stay longer, how she was worried our summer wouldnt be fun. I was gettin increasinly frustrated cuz it felt like didnt even care about my condition and state i was in...it was more like when am i going to get over this. She even told me...i had anxiety...not cancer and tog et over it. So anyways...one random day...she told me over msn it was over and told me **** off. i was shocked with how brutal she was. i begged her to discuss it in person...and she told me she didnt feel the same, and that because i pushed her away while i was sick, she didnt want to be with me. I tried explaining, i was in tears but she refused. So i got really angry and said some horrible things myself. 2 weeks passed without no communication and i (stupidly) send hera text asking if shed like to talk again now that its more calm. She again brutally refused. I then found out she was flirting with some guy... And what angers me in this is knowing that while i was in bed, suffering, throwing up...she was out going to wonderland...and flriting with this guy. We exchanged a few emails...initiated by me...and she keeps changing her reason for breaking up. The latest one was because i apparently treated her like crap throughout the entire 5 years? But her main problem during the last few months was complaining she coudlnt be around as much? I feel really betrayed...I loved this girl...I stuck thigns out so much for her and she walks away the first time i myself am ever in a crisis. What can i do or should i do? thanks so much for reading the long story Edited June 29, 2010 by mvd
Author mvd Posted June 30, 2010 Author Posted June 30, 2010 any advice or opinions on how i can move on from such a brutal breakup?
bunnixkisses Posted June 30, 2010 Posted June 30, 2010 Well, i feel for ya. I am in the same situation...you're cranked up on medications that make you not yourself, and they make you sick..and your SO doesn't care. I totally understand. Have you tried explaining this to her? Like .. pull up on the internet WHY you are sick and that it IS serious. To someone that has never dealt with it, you cannot expect her to understand. Also, have you pointed out exactly what you HAVE done for her, and that it is not right that she is not there for you? I'm not saying her actions were right whatsoever, but...she probably was lonely. 5 years is a long time, and things may have been getting stale..this probably pushed her over the edge. When a girl starts getting bored or like the relationship is a routine...they start getting irritable. The more you fight, the worse her self esteem goes down, the less she wants to see you, the lonliness gets worse, and than if there is no resolution...she starts seeking attention from other sources. My advice, girls can be replaced...but your health cannot. And girls cannot be replaced..until you're healthy and ready. SO if you want to get over her, and begin a new life with someone who WILL be there when you need them...shut her out of your life and focus on getting better. Don't text, don't email, don't call, no MSN ..nothing. At least until you're completely over her. She will miss you and realize she made a mistake...and at that point you can decide if you want to try to make it work, or turn her down. Otherwise, explain to her that IF she loves you, she needs to be there for you..and at this point, you cannot deal with the stress she is instilling on you. And when you are healthy again, you will make her feel the way she deserves to feel
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