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She cheated, got pregnant, engaged and left me depressed :(

kjayscopio

By kjayscopio
in Cheating, Flirting, and Jealousy

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kjayscopio New Member

kjayscopio

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Hi guys I just came across this website and any help or advice would help really. I will try to make my story as short as possible but forgive me if its long. I'm 23 my now ex girlfriend is 21 and we had been dating for about two years. She is an orphan and we come from two different family backgrounds. My family is rather upper class and she has struggled most of her life with her parents not being around. She is conservative (well she lied) and we agreed on not having sex till we got married (this was her suggestion).

 

Things started to go down when I had to leave and visit my family overseas for about 3 months. Even though we talked almost everyday her financial situation became worse and her demeanor towards me started to change even though she told me that I was the one and how much she loved me. She started to make outlandish demands like asking me to pay her rent and her college tuition. I told her I loved her but I couldn't do that. Fast forward I come back from overseas and she doesn't have time for me she doesn't call as much anymore. One day she accidently dropped her phone in my car by mistake. While I was taking her phone back to her, her phone rang and hubby appears on the caller ID. I'm shocked because it wasn't me calling so I quickly go through her phone (I know I shouldn't have) and there are over 200 text messages from this other guy and all of mine have been deleted. I confronted her about it when returned her phone. Her excuse was her friend was using her phone and she loved me and would never cheat on me. I walk away because I can tell she is lying.

 

I call her two days later because I'm confused and I really need an explanation and closure. To my surprise a guy answers the phone and tells me that he is her boyfriend. He tells me they have been dating for 3 months and that she told him that we broke up. I tell him that we never broke up and that she is playing us both. He tells me that they got engaged 3 weeks ago. When I heard that my heart shattered into pieces.

 

I later get I text message from her saying, "leave me and my husband alone , were engaged and I'm carrying his child my heart belongs to him now. Please stay away from." I asked her what I had every done to deserve this she replies 'he showed me more love and care'. I guess by paying her tuition and rent for the past 3 months. What sickens me is that guy is 31 and how she had been lying to me the past 3 months. Not even an I'm sorry for what I did. Just stay away from me. They are getting married next month :(

 

I haven't slept in days, I can't eat, always depressed. I guess wat hurts the most is how much she's not even thinking about me :(:(..

 

Please give some advice on this I want to be happy and live again but no matter how hard I try the pain doesn't seem to go.

aerogurl87 Established Member

aerogurl87

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Karma's a b*tch kjayscopio, and it will come back around and get her. I can bet you this relationship of their's will not last. Just move on with your life and be happy you didn't sink to the same level as her. Life always gives you back what you put into it, and you'll get the better deal in the end. Heck, your already one step ahead of her because her lying butt is now out of your life.

Cracker Jack Established Member

Cracker Jack

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Sorry to hear that, bro.

 

You'll be fine in due time, though. I agree with aerogirl. You're going (I know it doesn't feel that way now, but it will be) to end up much better than you would've been had she not left you. She's not a good woman, so it's best to have her replaced with a better woman when you're strong enough to get back out in the dating world.

 

Forget her, man. She's clown shoes.

Reality Drip Member

Reality Drip

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Hey man don't get down. This isn't a person that's worth your tears or emotional breakdown.

 

Girls cheat. Guys cheat. My cheating advice is that it happens and it isn't pleasant but let this toughen you up a bit. She was looking for superficial things and this guy came along when she was vulnerable; don't blame yourself.

 

Move on by surrounding yourself with friends and family. Just enjoy time with other people and talk it out if you have to but don't keep re-living the pain and drama.

 

-Max

MyNameIsJane Established Member

MyNameIsJane

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Man, I am so sorry you're going through this.

 

Unfortunately, nobody can give you advice that is going to sound desirable at the moment. You're hurting - and you are going to be for awhile. But it will get better and better every single day. Maybe only by a tiny fraction - but still, slowly better.

 

She is definitely someone that you want to avoid. Not only because you need to heal, but also because you do not need that kind of person in your life. If she's been dating the guy for three months, that means that she immediately started cheating on you. It wouldn't be any better if she had waited two months and then fell through and cheated, but what it does mean is that she didn't even try to be faithful. You left - and she immediately went looking for someone to fulfill her needs.

 

She is selfish. Especially considering while she was cheating on you, she was asking you to pay for her rent and tuition...

 

The best thing to do is get far away - dont communicate (hopefully she isnt communicating with you after what she said) and try to get back into daily routines. You will meet someone worth your time eventually and though it wont feel like it now, you will be much happier without her

D-Lish Established Member

D-Lish

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One thing I'd be wondering about is who the father of her child is! If she was seeing you both, how could she know it is him and not you???

 

This girl sounds like she left you for someone that would pay her way for her.

Cracker Jack Established Member

Cracker Jack

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He said they agreed on not having sex until marriage. Seems like they followed through with the no sex part based on everything in the OP.

jnj express Established Member

jnj express

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You are very lucky----Out of sight, out of mind----move on, and don't give your heart away to quickly with the next one

bunnixkisses Member

bunnixkisses

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Hey! Chin up! Chances are, she probably is thinking about you. Girls don't just stop thinking about guys they were with..no matter what. She made a dumb mistake, and you are WAY better than her. Just tell yourself that everyday that now that she is not holding you back, you can find someone that will make you happy and support your long oversea trips (and will be there when you get back!), someone that is "upper class" and you do not need to support. All of that is in your near future hun! Can't let her keep ya down. I always tell myself, if you can't change it...no use worrying about it! I know its hard, just gotta keep yourself busy

D-Lish Established Member

D-Lish

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He said they agreed on not having sex until marriage. Seems like they followed through with the no sex part based on everything in the OP.

 

Guess the red flag was there from the beginning!:p

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kjayscopio New Member

kjayscopio

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Thanks a lot guys I feel so much better just letting it all out and having people around who listen and feel my pain. Hopefully time will heal everything. To think last week I was on a 26 hour flight to see her, she should have just been honest with me and it would have saved me time and money. I would have just stayed with my family in Canada since I finished university here Australia.

 

Anyway I really appreciate all the replies I'm actually smiling which I haven't done in days.

Cracker Jack Established Member

Cracker Jack

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Good to hear, man!

 

Just remember that this situation will only make you stronger instead of weaker.

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kjayscopio New Member

kjayscopio

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The best thing to do is get far away - dont communicate (hopefully she isnt communicating with you after what she said) and try to get back into daily routines. You will meet someone worth your time eventually and though it wont feel like it now, you will be much happier without her

 

We're not communicating at all. Even though its hard at times I don't want to get myself back in that mess. She has been lying to people that we broke up 2 months ago and that I've been bothering her ever since (even though we never broke up). Its funny but sad how people change over night. I never thought she was cable of such but guess I was wrong.

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kjayscopio New Member

kjayscopio

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Karma's a b*tch kjayscopio, and it will come back around and get her. I can bet you this relationship of their's will not last. Just move on with your life and be happy you didn't sink to the same level as her. Life always gives you back what you put into it, and you'll get the better deal in the end. Heck, your already one step ahead of her because her lying butt is now out of your life.

 

Thanks aerogurl I just couldn't imagine doing what she did to me to someone else I would never be able to to live with myself. The question I keep asking myself is where is her conscience?

Edited by kjayscopio
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kjayscopio New Member

kjayscopio

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Hey! Chin up! Chances are, she probably is thinking about you. Girls don't just stop thinking about guys they were with..no matter what. She made a dumb mistake, and you are WAY better than her. Just tell yourself that everyday that now that she is not holding you back, you can find someone that will make you happy and support your long oversea trips (and will be there when you get back!), someone that is "upper class" and you do not need to support. All of that is in your near future hun! Can't let her keep ya down. I always tell myself, if you can't change it...no use worrying about it! I know its hard, just gotta keep yourself busy

 

Thanks. Now that I think about it I was going out of my way to make her happy. She actually believes that everybody owes her something. I was reading last night and I came across this:

 

"Those misfortunates among us who have been brought down by circumstance beyond their control deserve all the help and sympathy we can give them. But there are others who are not born of misfortune or unhappiness, but draw it upon themselves actions and unsettling effects on others. It would be great thing if we could raise them up, change their patterns, but more often than not it is their patterns that end up getting inside and changing us. The reason is simple humans are susceptible to moods, emotions and even the ways of thinking of those with whom they spend their time.

 

They often present themselves as victims, making it difficult at first to see their miseries as self-inflicted. Before you realize the real nature of their problems you have been infected by them."

 

I will always remember this.

lostsunsets Established Member

lostsunsets

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Well she proved what kind of person she is. I can virtually guarantee she will spreading for some other guy in the future.

Darren Steez Established Member

Darren Steez

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Big guy, destiny has a way of revealing things, right now it sucks to high heaven for you but better to know what kind of person she really is than devoting more of your heart and life to a woman who blatantly cheats and lies. Your self esteem maybe at a low and she maybe on a high with the attentions of one man and another in the dumps because of her but chin up fella, you deserve better and will get better. Good luck to you my friend.

Woggle Established Member

Woggle

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She's his problem now.

Dexter Morgan Established Member

Dexter Morgan

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Please give some advice on this I want to be happy and live again but no matter how hard I try the pain doesn't seem to go.

 

 

dude, you should be happy. You dodged a bullet. the wench can be some other poor saps problem.

 

There are better women out there, trust me on that. Life will be good for you.:cool:

Chrome Barracuda Established Member

Chrome Barracuda

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Your better off.

 

believe it not, a few years or months or days from now. She will begin to reach out to you. She'll start saying leaving you was a mistake, im sorry, can i see you, can we talk.

 

And when that day comes, you record all the conversations and give them to the child's father or whoever she married, and you slam the door shut in her face.

 

Because if she'll do it to you then. she'll do it later. women like her deserve no mercy. She' will not change, has no compunction to change and you dodged a big bullet. Better to grieve and start over on your own now, then to go have a child, get married and then she takes everything.

 

So pick yourself up youngster, go out, get dressed and hit the streets, there are good things out there and you know it.

mark982 Established Member

mark982

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like dex said. you dodged a bullet here. how she can make his life hell.

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